Where do I fit in?

LaneyDoll · 03-19-2012, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laruss

As a bi woman who has been married (to a man) but who has been in love with a woman I find I have no place.
I enjoy men and women and always have. I find that the lesbian community considers me to be a fence sitter and I am not welcomed and the hetro community considers me maladjusted and doesn't want to know. Most men are okay if you are sleeping with other women, but most women are not okay with you sleeping with a man.

I find that I have no place and constantly feel like I am on the peripheral not really belonging anywhere.

So... my question then is, where do I fit in? And am I the only one who feels this way?

Where is my community??

Been there! I have had people tell me that I am not a "true lesbian" because I have been with men-even though I really do not consider myself to be bisexual.

So, what do you do? You stick to your guns, you let go of those who bring you down (or try to) and in time, you will find yourself surrounded by people who accept you for you.

BFP is a great place to start finding those people

Welcome to the Planet!

EnderD_503 · 03-19-2012, 10:50 AM

Always great to see more Canadians showing up here

It's really shitty that you've had that experience. I don't know much about lgbt centres over there in Alberta, here in T.O. we have community centres and health centres that run support groups and social groups for various identities, including bisexual folks. Maybe try places like that for RL community if you have such centres in your area? Sometimes the mainstream lgbt community isn't particularly as inclusive when it comes to the B and the T, so you have to start looking outside the mainstream and into the queer community. And as others have said, ignore the assholes. It will probably seem like a tough thing to do now, but once you've found a community that is truly queer-positive for all that queer encompasses, you might find it gets easier to stomach the assholes.

JAGG · 03-19-2012, 10:55 AM

You are always welcome here, glad you found us.

Novelafemme · 03-19-2012, 10:57 AM

Welcome, Laruss

To echo what everyone else has said, welcome to the planet!! Sorry you've felt alienated elsewhere, but I doubt you'll experience that here!

xoxo, Novela

03-19-2012, 10:55 AM	#3
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,534 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	You are always welcome here, glad you found us. __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.

03-19-2012, 10:50 AM	#2
EnderD_503 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?: Male pronouns Relationship Status: Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,090 Thanked 3,878 Times in 1,021 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Always great to see more Canadians showing up here It's really shitty that you've had that experience. I don't know much about lgbt centres over there in Alberta, here in T.O. we have community centres and health centres that run support groups and social groups for various identities, including bisexual folks. Maybe try places like that for RL community if you have such centres in your area? Sometimes the mainstream lgbt community isn't particularly as inclusive when it comes to the B and the T, so you have to start looking outside the mainstream and into the queer community. And as others have said, ignore the assholes. It will probably seem like a tough thing to do now, but once you've found a community that is truly queer-positive for all that queer encompasses, you might find it gets easier to stomach the assholes.

03-19-2012, 10:57 AM	#4
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	Welcome, Laruss To echo what everyone else has said, welcome to the planet!! Sorry you've felt alienated elsewhere, but I doubt you'll experience that here! xoxo, Novela