Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 24

PARADOX OF PARADISE

Paradise is created when I collect paradox and live with it. Paradise is the set of acceptance and suspended disbelief. If anything is possible, accepting what comes is less heart-wrenching. If I arrest my misgivings, gratification in the voluptuousness of now is velvet. Vague consent is a Hell of incapacity. Fighting fiercely for both sides keeps the heart pumping and the mind at bliss. I must work to embrace contradiction and happiness. There is more than one path to take and I must take that one.


When you give time also take time.


*
Two X’s


I play sport at the three X folks
and their still sometimes skewed thinking.
Yet, I attack myself for feeling like a babe in the woods.

Old and wise should be my stock and trade by now though
I find vastness at my door regularly
and confidence struggles to peek in the window.

What in the world will I do if I can’t perfect this stuff soon?
Hopefully nothing as foolish as fretting
or anything as mean spirited as accusation.

Possibly I could try reception.
Truly this only comes in gift wrap and after twenty years
I would hope I had learned to live in the present.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 25

THE ORDER


I can’t expect delivery if I haven’t placed the order. I never seem to know what I want until after I have accepted something else. I can remember thinking order meant procedure not procurement---set the table, not end my hunger. I focused on rational intent and turned my face from desire. Assailing outcomes leads to disappointments. Asking for a hole to be filled may cause dumping not management or conservation. It’s good to have a plan before signing the requisition. Please help me know who I am, so I will know what I want, so I can make a request and stop accepting orders of attack. Don’t let me order the end while I am still at the beginning.


Self-respect is the gift you bring to everyone.
*

Whirly Gigs



Pivot points and reference points
subtlety disguised as harmless bric-a-brac
escape my comprehension until I either stumble
or land on one or the other and ponder the affect.

Realization that much of my life’s contentment
hinges like a door shocks me,
though I don’t know why it should.

Isn’t it the way of things that it all turns on a whim
or at the very least hangs on fine gauged calculation?

I am not the capricious vixen I accuse myself of;
I am however human
and given to a certain amount of fickle fussy frenzy
which all reckons out given enough perspective and wit.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 26

THE ORPHANAGE OF MY HEART


The orphanage of my heart holds many children, children of my past. They gaze at me, fixed in an attempt to draw me near their needs. I scurry, often my head down, eyes averted, not knowing how to offer comfort or consideration to these hapless souls. Fearing the largesse of the poverty, I decline to open my small purse. What could I tender other than a tease? Nearly barren in my heart-broken, disconsolate, inconsolable state, I rarely even obligate myself to extending my hand. This is the pit of my idiocy. These wee ones have the world of hope and strength to give. I am their offertory. I am the place where their gold resides. They live inside me to fill me and bind me to life and light. I flee them in the height of misunderstanding. Disconnected from these inner spirits, I am impoverished and far too weak to grasp their help. Too fogged to see the world within, I starve in the world without.


Incubate an idea.


*

New Borne


What happens when you finally get what you want,
what you barely dared to dream?
What happens when you can hardly do more
than drip tears down from smiling eyes?
Where do you go with a future filled with proposed joy?

Heaven is an option if only you believed,
but hell has been such a perennial destination
it’s hard to realize there will be no return trip this year
or possibly ever again.

The work required to change
from an attitude of longing to one of satisfaction
is as real as all the work needed thus far.

Tending love is a host of disciplines
I want to step to, like I have done it all my life,
like I was born to do it
and I was,

Still growth is accompanied
by its own pain and awkwardness
and who am I to deny this treat.
Any new life worth living
is worth the pain to bear it.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 27

CALIBRATE COINCIDENCE




Do good. Do right. Line up with the next correct movement. Get the universe locked into the sprockets of my desires and make the miracles flow in my direction. Ah, the boy scout merit badge of sobriety. I force spiritual alchemy through the pasta maker of my small life expecting gold. And where is God? Where is the realness of reality? Where is my place in this hairy mess? Well, who knows? Am I the wizard? The Chemist? The mechanic of the galaxy? Though I wish and hope, in truth, I am not the one who calibrates coincidence. I am the receiver of.


Date your recovery.
*
Feelings/Facts

Delay is when I don’t deal with the tack,
don’t deal with the finish nail,
land up with a 12 penny in my heel
and think about waiting for the railroad spike.

Rebellion is when I run through the razor-wire fence
expecting to make a clean get away.
If I don’t socialize my problems when they are puppies
all hope is lost when faced with the big dogs.

Exiting out the fifth story window is suicide in fact,
but in my thinking I am merely rebelling.
Willingness and cooperation make a dynamic duo;
powerful combatants of delay, rebellion,
and many other joy killing, life stealing foes.

A life led with cooperation and willingness
is not necessarily perfection,
but it often feels that way.

[LeftWriteFemme]

SEC Charges Five Individuals for Insider Trading Tip From AA Meeting
by Reese Darragh on March 14, 2012



The Securities and Exchange Commission brought civil insider-trading charges against five individuals who allegedly made more than $1.8 million profits based on a tip obtained through an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

In the filing, the regulator charged Timothy McGee, a financial adviser at Ameriprise Financial Services for making illegal stock trading of Philadelphia Consolidated Holding Corp after he received insider information of a pending merger between the company and Japanese firm Tokio Marine Holdings.

A fellow AA member who is also a senior executive at the firm had confided with McGee during one of the support group meeting that the pressure over the merger were leading him to drink. Utilizing the information, McGee purchased the company’s stock in advance of the July 23, 2008 merger and gain $292,128 when the stock price of Philadelphia Consolidated increased by 64 percent on the news.

Sharing the Wealth

McGee also allegedly shared the tip with a co-worker, Michael Zirinsky, who purchased stock in his own trading accounts as well as his family. Per The Wall Street Journal, Zirinsky also shared the information with his father, Robert Zirinsky, and a friend in Hong Kong, Paolo Lam, who in turn shared the information with another friend, whose wife, Marianna Sze Wan Ho, also traded on the information.

The SEC also named four Zirinsky relatives as relief defendants, seeking disgorgement of ill-gotten gains. They were not charged in the case. Altogether, the Zirinsky family made $562,673.

Elsewhere in Hong Kong, a Reuters report confirmed that Lam and Ho have agreed to settle the charges with the SEC without admitting or denying the allegations. Lam made $837,975 while Ho gained $110,580 through their bets on the information. Lam and Ho will pay $1.2 million and $140,000 respectively to the SEC.

The SEC is pursuing penalties against McGee, Michael Zirinsky and his father, Robert Zirinsky.

AA Shield

Unlike the common insider trading cases that often revolve around the breach of confidential duty between an employee and the company’s shareholders, the executive of Philadelphia Consolidated is not charged with any wrongdoing.

The SEC’s suit on Tuesday said that McGee misused the information obtained from his relationship with the executive because the relationship was forged through AA meetings. AA’s twelfth tradition policy designed to encourage participants to speak freely but anonymously.

“By spring and early summer 2008, while the PHLY executive was participating in the merger negotiations and under significant pressure to ensure a successful sale, he and McGee had known each other for almost a decade and forged a close relationship in which they routinely shared confidences about each other’s personal lives and problems impacting them professionally,” the SEC said.

Insider trading case stemmed from an AA meeting is a first for the regulator.

I guess the AA program has to be restructured for members to eliminate certain details of their work from now on.

Reese Darragh is a contributing writer for CompliancEX and Wall Street Job Report. She is an experienced business news writer with expertise in macroeconomics topic, the financial industry, rules and regulations including the Dodd-Frank Act and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act as well as rules from other federal regulators. She has a Master Degree in International Economics and Finance from Brandeis University.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 28

FEELINGS

Getting my feelings back was like a package delivered---not a letter bomb, more like live squid or bait of some kind. It was something to catch me out there. I think overcoming the shock was more or less the small part, though it seemed to loom at the time. The squirming, the writhing of my soul was like a pregnancy following a bad dream. I wondered how this became a part of me. I squandered my days hoping it would leave quietly some night soon. Like all difficult relationships, I attempted to hold my breath through it. Failing this, I tried to offer my feelings a guest wing in my heart and a never-ending supply of tea and cookies. When the reality of life with feelings planted itself firmly in me, I let out my breath, stopped the hostess act and endeavored to roll with it. This worked well. I have since invested in a wet- suit and fins. The squid are much easier to live with when I meet them on their turf.


Sponge off what life flings at you.

*


Yes, Virginia there is a solution

Suspended in the colloid of sobriety
the overly large molecule, which is me,
finds a fix I couldn’t imagine.

I can get better, I do get better,
I have a set of values to substitute into the old equations.
I now live in a mixture where there is one thing in common
and all the rest are variants which ordinarily don’t mix.

The scientific method is entry to homogenous living;
a concept that never made it to the table
in my days as a rogue element.

And with all this on board,
the thing I love the best is that it grows;
what I can do and how I can do it
is an ever widening frame of reference,

Even things which were once outside of my view
are now possible.
I am grateful that there is a solution
I am amazed that it is the solution to everything.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 29

FUTURE TENTS

The future seeps in through the windows, like the dawn stealing across the sky. Once I inhale it, I am out of doors, only the lightest of canvas covering me. The opening flaps in the breeze. The wind of unbidden things echoes off the walls of people shut out from this adventure. I brace myself for the cutting current but am greeted by the softest of zephyrs. I duck out. I stand unfettered. Lonely whispers call but I am isolated. The scene is empty, serene and beautiful. There are other tents, other seekers standing on other hills but they see their own futures from the vantage of their own tents and thankfully I am left to see mine.


Tape a coin to the place you sleep.

*
Catalog of Growth

The right seed in the right season
grows a garden of miracles for me.
I get the food for my table
or the stores for winter.

Sometimes when I’m in a Jack like predicament,
right planted seeds can provide a bean stalk
of escape from my restricted life.

I have a role to play with these wonders.
I must sort the seeds from the pebbles.
I must let the kernels out of my pocket
and into the ground.

I water when I can
and harvest what comes to fruition.
Though the best by far
is the part when I get to share the seeds.

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

SEC Charges Five Individuals for Insider Trading Tip From AA Meeting
by Reese Darragh on March 14, 2012



The Securities and Exchange Commission brought civil insider-trading charges against five individuals who allegedly made more than $1.8 million profits based on a tip obtained through an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

In the filing, the regulator charged Timothy McGee, a financial adviser at Ameriprise Financial Services for making illegal stock trading of Philadelphia Consolidated Holding Corp after he received insider information of a pending merger between the company and Japanese firm Tokio Marine Holdings.

A fellow AA member who is also a senior executive at the firm had confided with McGee during one of the support group meeting that the pressure over the merger were leading him to drink. Utilizing the information, McGee purchased the company’s stock in advance of the July 23, 2008 merger and gain $292,128 when the stock price of Philadelphia Consolidated increased by 64 percent on the news.

Sharing the Wealth

McGee also allegedly shared the tip with a co-worker, Michael Zirinsky, who purchased stock in his own trading accounts as well as his family. Per The Wall Street Journal, Zirinsky also shared the information with his father, Robert Zirinsky, and a friend in Hong Kong, Paolo Lam, who in turn shared the information with another friend, whose wife, Marianna Sze Wan Ho, also traded on the information.

The SEC also named four Zirinsky relatives as relief defendants, seeking disgorgement of ill-gotten gains. They were not charged in the case. Altogether, the Zirinsky family made $562,673.

Elsewhere in Hong Kong, a Reuters report confirmed that Lam and Ho have agreed to settle the charges with the SEC without admitting or denying the allegations. Lam made $837,975 while Ho gained $110,580 through their bets on the information. Lam and Ho will pay $1.2 million and $140,000 respectively to the SEC.

The SEC is pursuing penalties against McGee, Michael Zirinsky and his father, Robert Zirinsky.

AA Shield

Unlike the common insider trading cases that often revolve around the breach of confidential duty between an employee and the company’s shareholders, the executive of Philadelphia Consolidated is not charged with any wrongdoing.

The SEC’s suit on Tuesday said that McGee misused the information obtained from his relationship with the executive because the relationship was forged through AA meetings. AA’s twelfth tradition policy designed to encourage participants to speak freely but anonymously.

“By spring and early summer 2008, while the PHLY executive was participating in the merger negotiations and under significant pressure to ensure a successful sale, he and McGee had known each other for almost a decade and forged a close relationship in which they routinely shared confidences about each other’s personal lives and problems impacting them professionally,” the SEC said.

Insider trading case stemmed from an AA meeting is a first for the regulator.

I guess the AA program has to be restructured for members to eliminate certain details of their work from now on.

Reese Darragh is a contributing writer for CompliancEX and Wall Street Job Report. She is an experienced business news writer with expertise in macroeconomics topic, the financial industry, rules and regulations including the Dodd-Frank Act and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act as well as rules from other federal regulators. She has a Master Degree in International Economics and Finance from Brandeis University.

Reminds me of a murderer that was turned in by someone that they had done a 5th step with...

I have seen the FBI suit up and show up, infiltrate one of our meetings. It is an amazing world in which we live and between meetings and the internet, it never surprises me anymore the things people will share like no one is remembering what in the heck they are saying. People are listening! And acting on those things that they do hear.

Listen and learn.



ODAT,
Di

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 31

BLUE CROWS


Blue crows streak across my dreaming mind’s sky; they take up their post in a line of trees. I stand at the edge of a burning field. I feel nauseous at the thought of glorifying an ‘active’ life. Everything is burned, scarred and crumpled; the flashy crows call from the hedgerow. I know it’s time to fly. The fire is out and I have work to do to keep the sparks and dormant embers from ruining another harvest. I must travel with these strange birds and live an odd but regimented life. I needn’t scorch my feet on this ground again but, like my companions, must spend some time in survey. If I do not fully assess this damage, I might not fully embrace this dawn.


Bury your dead issues.


*
Why is it so hard to be me?

I have everything I could wish for.
I have love and friendship,
I have talent and ability.

What more could I want?
I don’t want more,
I want to learn how to overcome fear
and live with disappointment.

Abundance is ever at the door,
but I have no room for plenty.
Reassurance is the thing I chase after,
yearn for, pine about, but it is an illusive thing
like taking hold of smoke.

Allusion is the gift-wrap of reality
the unwrapping often puts me off the contents;
regaining my composure and reestablishing willingness
is a difficult job requiring dedication and fortitude.

The barrier before the carefree me
is thought, the strongest of all substance.
I must heal the calcifications of my mind and resist rigidity.
My thinking is what makes being me problematic
without it I am nothing at all.

Originally Posted by Lady_Di

Reminds me of a murderer that was turned in by someone that they had done a 5th step with...

I have seen the FBI suit up and show up, infiltrate one of our meetings. It is an amazing world in which we live and between meetings and the internet, it never surprises me anymore the things people will share like no one is remembering what in the heck they are saying. People are listening! And acting on those things that they do hear.

Listen and learn.



ODAT,
Di

Well, that damn well means I ain't ever gonna share openly and honestly...just in case MI5 turn up


2 months today...woohooo!

At last night's meeting (with the other fellowship) we had a reading that was about the 'triangle of self-obsession'. It piqued all sorts of things for me which I really need to think more upon and write about.

This weekend is the North West AA Convention. As I can't afford to attend I'm going to go this afternoon, tell them I'm a newbie and they should let me in. It would be awesome to spend some of the day with lots and lots of other sober alcoholics.



Remember...honesty costs lives...and let's be careful out there people!