Are butches really a dying breed?

MrSunshine · 03-29-2012, 05:54 AM

Funny that, I feel the same way about femmes. I think they must be all out of our flavor.

~ocean · 03-29-2012, 06:22 AM

LOL mr. sumshine ... I love that flavor !!

musicman · 03-29-2012, 06:26 AM

I don't know about any other butches but I do know this butch is very much here and alive. I'm not going anywhere.

Just_G · 03-29-2012, 06:35 AM

I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind!

I think people say that because they want a certain type of butch or femme and when they can't find one they say there are none left. So not true.

SelfMadeMan · 03-29-2012, 07:25 AM

Emphatic NO!!! Butches are NOT a dying breed! I would argue that one of the reasons this myth is perpetuating is from a small, but persistent, group of radical feminist lesbians who are bent on somehow proving that the Trans community is recruiting Butches and that Butches are getting the message from Transmen and Transgender Butches, that they are "too Butch" - not possible - and that they should transition, AND that these Butches are following along like sheep to a slaughter. NOT TRUE. I'm not saying that there aren't Butches pressured to transition - I know it does happen - I have had a couple of friends tell me about other people pressuring them to label themselves TG or to consider transition. But I don't think that this is happening on the levels that some radfems would have us believe, and I don't think most Butches, even if pressured, are going to step off into something so major just because someone else tells them to. Not all Transmen even identified as Butch prior to transition - and Butch is NOT a precursor to transition! I think we have a huge population of wonderful, strong, PROUD Butches. I think one explanation is that perhaps there's been some relocation due to the economy, perhaps more concentrations in larger cities, and less in rural areas. But I don't think you have to look too far. I have some amazing Butch friends and I love them dearly - and I think they are awesome, brave people!
BUTCH does not = TRANS! Butch is an identity all it's own, and it isn't going anywhere!

Cin · 03-29-2012, 10:22 AM

I don’t think butches are a dying breed. I don’t believe people can chose their sex or their gender. I think it is a part of who we are. And if that is true then butch can’t ever die. There will always be some people born with that gender identity. There are not just two or three genders just like there aren’t just two or three sexes. I think there are many different gender and sexual nuances and I think we will find them mixed and matched throughout the spectrum. By that I mean we can find different sexes matched up with different genders, like for example a transwoman who identifies as a butch or a transman who identifies as a femme, vice versa, or female identified butches and masculine identified butches, or anyone of a dozen other variations on sex and gender.

I don’t think something like that dies out. That’s like saying blues eyes are fading out. I don’t think it’s possible. It’s not a fad it's a recessive gene and anyone carrying one will present with blue eyes so it would be very difficult without aggressive purposeful action to wipe out blue eyes. I think the same could be said for butch. Well, not exactly the same, cause who knows if there is a gene for it, but it is not a fad either, it's a gender identity and while one can chose a gender presentation (like when I purposely femme it up as a butch so I can look like I’m in drag) I don’t think we actually get to choose our genders. You are what you are. So in that way I don’t see butch ever dying out.

princessbelle · 03-29-2012, 10:29 AM

All i can say is what a sad, boring, lonely existence it would be for some of us if there were no more butches.

Sounds like a horror movie to me.

It is for sure a planet i would not want to live on.

Scorp · 03-29-2012, 12:03 PM

Perfectly said G...

Ladi & I have said that over and over. I (nor she) has ever seen a butch-fem couple out where we live and wish we had "more" of a community in that sense.

However, there seems to be a good amount of butches here. Maybe we just "don't know" if the females are fem or not. Meaning, it's very hard to detect or that just "may be" in general. Or am I just too oblivated to notice??? I guess that would be a whole other topic. I don't know.

That's why this website (and especially the yearly Reunion(s)) not only for me, but especially for Ladi is so very important. There are women (fems) there just like "herself" which she automatically has bond/bonded with.

Whenever we come home from being with our b-f family we of course have "bash crash" but the "yearning" for more peeps like ourselves out in our neck of the woods makes us sad until we get back to what we know as our "normal life". I miss having our community within arms length.

Hope this makes sense and if it doesn't, you'll have to excuse me because I have so much in my head that it gets a little difficult for me to express sometimes which I believe is A.D.D.!

Best,
-Scorp-

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_G

I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind!

.

Princess · 03-29-2012, 12:06 PM

G and Scorp-

We are out there, trust me. There is a whole thread about that issue called Femme invisibility. How would you know how to find us if we "pass" unless we have a stamp across our foreheads or something..

Library_girl · 03-29-2012, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess

G and Scorp-

We are out there, trust me. There is a whole thread about that issue called Femme invisibility. How would you know how to find us if we "pass" unless we have a stamp across our foreheads or something..

I have seriously considered such a stamp.

Maybe different colored ones for different outfits. Ooh! We could make bracelets or some other pretty accessory! I love accessories.

JAGG · 03-29-2012, 12:08 PM

I'm alive and well and thriving!! Full of life and energy. Present and accounted for. I am not dead yet or dying either. I live in femmelessville USA so I know what you mean in a way.. Maybe you should consider moving to a more butchly populated area.

dancer611 · 03-29-2012, 12:17 PM

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

FemmeAllae · 06-19-2012, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_G

I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind!

I think people say that because they want a certain type of butch or femme and when they can't find one they say there are none left. So not true.

Plenty of butches, you say?! Where do you live?!

chefhmboyrd · 06-20-2012, 07:45 AM

i never really identified as A Butch, i was just always masculine and butchy
i didn't participate in the BF community until after i began to transition.

i will have to agree with the evolving theories.
there are so many different labels and ways to identify, masculine, feminine, stone, androgynous, gender-queer, intersexed, cis-gendered, trans, assexual.....
so many under the LrgBLT umbrella

it can be confusing because what one person considers butch or femme may be slightly different from someone else's perspective. there are even some who swing both ways depending on who they are with......

fluidity......

Apocalipstic · 06-20-2012, 08:29 AM

I think if anything the Internets have made it easier to find/meet Butches.
Before Internet you almost had to wait for Butches to show up on your porch or work with a relative.

Shadownthemind · 04-03-2012, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musicman

I don't know about any other butches but I do know this butch is very much here and alive. I'm not going anywhere.

And this butch is here and not going any where

clay · 04-03-2012, 10:18 PM

as is this one...present & accounted for....grins

Finn · 04-19-2012, 04:45 PM

I thought I'd ad to this post as well.. I am an Old School Butch/Daddy

so talk about few and between..

.. I'd love to find an Old School Femme/Babgirl,,

,,or a nice down to earth Femme

to share my life with....

.....Lord knows I've tried....

.. We are out there Ladies,,

,,never give up.. I certainly won't ..

StrongButch · 04-19-2012, 05:21 PM

No we are not. But many things have changed in this community I want to say I am an older butch (58) There are now many more labels. Another thing that has also happened alot of butches including myself date other butches or tombois. As well as femmes dating other femmes. I wish all of you luck in finding that butch but they are out there.

Sky_femme · 04-19-2012, 05:25 PM

Yes.. I think all butches are in the US!

I find it so hard to meet someone in the UK, and I am in the capital!

03-29-2012, 06:35 AM	#4
Just_G Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?: He....with an e! Relationship Status: I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the middle Posts: 2,281 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 874 Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind! I think people say that because they want a certain type of butch or femme and when they can't find one they say there are none left. So not true. __________________ Happy are those who dream and are ready to pay the price to make them come true!

03-29-2012, 07:25 AM	#5
SelfMadeMan Member How Do You Identify?: Transsexual Man Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Married to The Woman of My Dreams <3 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 802 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 796 Thanked 2,668 Times in 527 Posts Rep Power: 18972345	Emphatic NO!!! Butches are NOT a dying breed! I would argue that one of the reasons this myth is perpetuating is from a small, but persistent, group of radical feminist lesbians who are bent on somehow proving that the Trans community is recruiting Butches and that Butches are getting the message from Transmen and Transgender Butches, that they are "too Butch" - not possible - and that they should transition, AND that these Butches are following along like sheep to a slaughter. NOT TRUE. I'm not saying that there aren't Butches pressured to transition - I know it does happen - I have had a couple of friends tell me about other people pressuring them to label themselves TG or to consider transition. But I don't think that this is happening on the levels that some radfems would have us believe, and I don't think most Butches, even if pressured, are going to step off into something so major just because someone else tells them to. Not all Transmen even identified as Butch prior to transition - and Butch is NOT a precursor to transition! I think we have a huge population of wonderful, strong, PROUD Butches. I think one explanation is that perhaps there's been some relocation due to the economy, perhaps more concentrations in larger cities, and less in rural areas. But I don't think you have to look too far. I have some amazing Butch friends and I love them dearly - and I think they are awesome, brave people! BUTCH does not = TRANS! Butch is an identity all it's own, and it isn't going anywhere! Last edited by SelfMadeMan; 03-29-2012 at 07:28 AM.

03-29-2012, 10:29 AM	#7
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	All i can say is what a sad, boring, lonely existence it would be for some of us if there were no more butches. Sounds like a horror movie to me. It is for sure a planet i would not want to live on. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

03-29-2012, 12:08 PM	#11
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I'm alive and well and thriving!! Full of life and energy. Present and accounted for. I am not dead yet or dying either. I live in femmelessville USA so I know what you mean in a way.. Maybe you should consider moving to a more butchly populated area. __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.

06-20-2012, 07:45 AM	#14
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	butches..... i never really identified as A Butch, i was just always masculine and butchy i didn't participate in the BF community until after i began to transition. i will have to agree with the evolving theories. there are so many different labels and ways to identify, masculine, feminine, stone, androgynous, gender-queer, intersexed, cis-gendered, trans, assexual..... so many under the LrgBLT umbrella it can be confusing because what one person considers butch or femme may be slightly different from someone else's perspective. there are even some who swing both ways depending on who they are with...... fluidity...... __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?

03-29-2012, 05:54 AM	#1
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Funny that, I feel the same way about femmes. I think they must be all out of our flavor.

03-29-2012, 06:22 AM	#2
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,040 Times in 4,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	LOL mr. sumshine ... I love that flavor !!

03-29-2012, 06:26 AM	#3
musicman Member How Do You Identify?: NA Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NA Posts: 209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 195 Thanked 429 Times in 125 Posts Rep Power: 3610464	I don't know about any other butches but I do know this butch is very much here and alive. I'm not going anywhere.

03-29-2012, 10:22 AM	#6
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,436 Times in 2,476 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I don’t think butches are a dying breed. I don’t believe people can chose their sex or their gender. I think it is a part of who we are. And if that is true then butch can’t ever die. There will always be some people born with that gender identity. There are not just two or three genders just like there aren’t just two or three sexes. I think there are many different gender and sexual nuances and I think we will find them mixed and matched throughout the spectrum. By that I mean we can find different sexes matched up with different genders, like for example a transwoman who identifies as a butch or a transman who identifies as a femme, vice versa, or female identified butches and masculine identified butches, or anyone of a dozen other variations on sex and gender. I don’t think something like that dies out. That’s like saying blues eyes are fading out. I don’t think it’s possible. It’s not a fad it's a recessive gene and anyone carrying one will present with blue eyes so it would be very difficult without aggressive purposeful action to wipe out blue eyes. I think the same could be said for butch. Well, not exactly the same, cause who knows if there is a gene for it, but it is not a fad either, it's a gender identity and while one can chose a gender presentation (like when I purposely femme it up as a butch so I can look like I’m in drag) I don’t think we actually get to choose our genders. You are what you are. So in that way I don’t see butch ever dying out.

03-29-2012, 12:06 PM	#9
Princess Member How Do You Identify?: princess Preferred Pronoun?: She, her. Relationship Status: One singular sensation! Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Topeka, KS Posts: 1,341 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,082 Thanked 4,582 Times in 1,009 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	G and Scorp- We are out there, trust me. There is a whole thread about that issue called Femme invisibility. How would you know how to find us if we "pass" unless we have a stamp across our foreheads or something..

03-29-2012, 12:17 PM	#12
dancer611 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Preferred Pronoun?: fairy princess :) Relationship Status: single Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: USA Posts: 20 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 77 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 1788034	So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

06-20-2012, 08:29 AM	#15
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I think if anything the Internets have made it easier to find/meet Butches. Before Internet you almost had to wait for Butches to show up on your porch or work with a relative. __________________

04-03-2012, 10:18 PM	#17
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,675 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	as is this one...present & accounted for....grins __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

04-19-2012, 04:45 PM	#18
Finn Member How Do You Identify?: Old School Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hy Relationship Status: Me and my lil doggie too.... Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: MA. Where the Skies are Blue and the Mountains are Green.. Posts: 355 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 333 Thanked 262 Times in 112 Posts Rep Power: 1957128	I thought I'd ad to this post as well.. I am an Old School Butch/Daddy so talk about few and between.. .. I'd love to find an Old School Femme/Babgirl,, ,,or a nice down to earth Femme to share my life with.........Lord knows I've tried...... We are out there Ladies,, ,,never give up.. I certainly won't .. __________________ “To change in meaningful ways, we must become conscious of Ego and how it shapes our narratives, thus behavior over time."- Albert Einstein “Anyone can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everyone’s power and that is not easy.” - Aristotle "Against logic there is no armor like ignorance." —Laurence Peter

04-19-2012, 05:21 PM	#19
StrongButch Member How Do You Identify?: I see the world thru a lens Preferred Pronoun?: Yes Boss Relationship Status: Chillin out with awesome women Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,018 Thanked 4,183 Times in 1,180 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Are butches really a dying breed No we are not. But many things have changed in this community I want to say I am an older butch (58) There are now many more labels. Another thing that has also happened alot of butches including myself date other butches or tombois. As well as femmes dating other femmes. I wish all of you luck in finding that butch but they are out there.

04-19-2012, 05:25 PM	#20
Sky_femme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme, girly girl, babygirl Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single and looking Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: London, UK Posts: 30 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24 Thanked 18 Times in 8 Posts Rep Power: 862325	Yes.. I think all butches are in the US! I find it so hard to meet someone in the UK, and I am in the capital!