Are butches really a dying breed?

[MissItalianDiva]

I agree with Toughy. Here in the Bay there is definitely not a lack of butch identified folks or butch energy. I personally think Toughy hits a pretty valid point. I see and hear of folks all the time expecting to go into the bar or gay club wanting to meet folks. How well can you possibly interact with someone in that type of environment.

After reading this thread I am even more grateful to be living in the Bay Area. Of and as for the Whole Foods color I think it is green...?

Also I think it is important to ask ourselves when trying to date a specific type of person who identifies a certain way do we truly know what WE are looking for or are we looking for a "stereotype". What's on the surface is not always what is on the core of someone. Just a thought

[Breathless]

I feel like I should clarify my comment about imposter in a butches clothing.. I agree, and am grateful that butches come in all body types, styles, long hair, short hair.. my comment was more in reference to the stereotypical attitude that a butch is protective, polite, gentlemanly, mannered, respectful etc, vs a set physical ideal of what makes identity. Being butch or how ever you label or dont label yourself comes from the heart... agreed

[Rockinonahigh]

I hope us butches are going out of style,I do know hear we (at home) dont have a large bf communits infact its fue and far between.I've met some femmes on line and on the planet but not any where I live,but at my age 64 and counting down to 65 the dateing pool is slim to nun.

[Breathless]

A classy human being is never out of style

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

I hope us butches are going out of style,I do know hear we (at home) dont have a large bf communits infact its fue and far between.I've met some femmes on line and on the planet but not any where I live,but at my age 64 and counting down to 65 the dateing pool is slim to nun.

[Martina]

i used to carry a wallet and not a purse.

Was i . . . *gasp* . . . a butch impostor?

[Scuba]

Originally Posted by Martina

i used to carry a wallet and not a purse.

Was i . . . *gasp* . . . a butch impostor?

**plays shocking music**

A butch imposter? Say it's not soooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

[Scuba]

I'm still alive...just sayin

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Martina

i used to carry a wallet and not a purse.

Was i . . . *gasp* . . . a butch impostor?

OMG, me too lolololol
but I could never fnd my stuff

[starryeyes]

Maybe it has something to do with social media? I am a youngin' so I can't talk about "back in the day" but there seems to be a hell of a lot more social influence on lesbians now than ever. With shows like, The L Word, The Real L Word, Curl Girls, shows on LOGO, Ellen, Rachel Maddow, etc, everyone is a soft butch or androgynous. I am racking my brain, and can not think of one strong butch role model in social media today that is not looked down upon.

"Back in the Day", from what I have read, and heard from people who were there, Butch Femme was a social scene and Butches were taken under the wings of other Butches and mentored/supported and it was an inclusive group with relatively NO influence from mainstream America. Now with all of this external influential, pressure and America's stereotypes of "what lesbians should look like and be like" it kinda makes sense that the newer generation is changing and there are not as many "Butches" (in the way we are describing here) around anymore. It sucks, but maybe it's just evolution.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by Breathless

I feel like I should clarify my comment about imposter in a butches clothing.. I agree, and am grateful that butches come in all body types, styles, long hair, short hair.. my comment was more in reference to the stereotypical attitude that a butch is protective, polite, gentlemanly, mannered, respectful etc, vs a set physical ideal of what makes identity. Being butch or how ever you label or dont label yourself comes from the heart... agreed

I like your definition of a butch Breathless. They do exist but in too few numbers IMO Some are ID'd as queer/bois/etc. now and will bust out that shell as they evolve in life. Some current young butches will evolve into queer/studs/etc. Still not enough dashing, charming, gentlemynly butches in the world for this sensual, curious, complimentary femme. Won't someone tell the straights to make more butch babies

[Breathless]

I have a butch baby for a daughter..lol.. she appears very femme, however it is deceiving Dont nobody get any ideas.. she is 16

And thank you Amma

[BullDog]

When I was a little kid I asked my Dad if girls could be astronauts (there weren't any girl astronauts then). He said yes.

The best way to ensure there will be more butches is to set a good example, be a mentor when asked, and to continue to let the world know that women and females can be any way they want to be. We are not restricted by any sexist or gender stereotypes. If some call themselves by names other than butch that's all good too.

[wetfromashower]

As small as the state of Delaware is... There is no lack of Butches here... and in a three hour radius you have many states with unlimited butches... (de,nj,pa,md,va,dc,ny... to name a few states) just my two cents...

[TimilDeeps]

Originally Posted by wetfromashower

As small as the state of Delaware is... There is no lack of Butches here... and in a three hour radius you have many states with unlimited butches... (de,nj,pa,md,va,dc,ny... to name a few states) just my two cents...

oh so true your royal wetness. and as someone who lives in PA, I can tell ya it is Butch central.

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by mariamma

I like your definition of a butch Breathless. They do exist but in too few numbers IMO Some are ID'd as queer/bois/etc. now and will bust out that shell as they evolve in life. Some current young butches will evolve into queer/studs/etc. Still not enough dashing, charming, gentlemynly butches in the world for this sensual, curious, complimentary femme. Won't someone tell the straights to make more butch babies

I'm telling you .............you are not looking in the right places......

they/we/us are out there..........and to you and me/us open your eyes and see what is around you

[SweetJane]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I'm telling you .............you are not looking in the right places......

they/we/us are out there..........and to you and me/us open your eyes and see what is around you

Toughy, you all may be out there but it's very hard to find you. I have done the meetup groups, the clubs, the lessons, etc. and I only seem to find gay women who aren't butch (or femme, for that matter). The one or two I've seen are partnered, too.

I do things I like to do, go places I want, I talk to all sorts of people, and try to find our community among them. Still looking. I just want to have a conversation with my own kind. Thinking of dating you strong butches may become more fantasy than reality in my region.

Part of the problem where I am is that the gay community has become so blended with the hetero world that we are everywhere and nowhere. It is just hard for us to find each other.

[Chancie]

Sweet Jane, I think I understand what you mean. I often think of the difference between the melting pot and the tossed salad metaphors for places that are racially, culturally, and linguistically diverse. I mean, we are talking about femmes and butches and other queer identified people, I know, but is it better to fit in or to maintain a separateness to protect one's own culture?

This digression is brought to you by the letter q and the number 17.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Chancie

Sweet Jane, I think I understand what you mean. I often think of the difference between the melting pot and the tossed salad metaphors for places that are racially, culturally, and linguistically diverse. I mean, we are talking about femmes and butches and other queer identified people, I know, but is it better to fit in or to maintain a separateness to protect one's own culture?

This digression is brought to you by the letter q and the number 17.

I would suggest both have benefits. Separately for cultural reasons and assimilated for political (and other) reasons.

I believe that in our desire to earn our "equal rights" that we have forgotten the importance of the former. Perhaps this is a function of the younger homosexual/queer population being accepted into mainstream society, so they don't need to make their own spaces. However, being in a gay/queer space feeds my soul in a way that I would never want to be without.

The younger generation say they are lucky to have been born in a time when "we" are more accepted. In some ways, yes. But, I wouldn't forego my experiences of discrimination that forced the creation of separate spaces for a more "comfortable" public life, ever.