Are butches really a dying breed?

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by mariamma

I like your definition of a butch Breathless. They do exist but in too few numbers IMO Some are ID'd as queer/bois/etc. now and will bust out that shell as they evolve in life. Some current young butches will evolve into queer/studs/etc. Still not enough dashing, charming, gentlemynly butches in the world for this sensual, curious, complimentary femme. Won't someone tell the straights to make more butch babies

I'm telling you .............you are not looking in the right places......

they/we/us are out there..........and to you and me/us open your eyes and see what is around you

[SweetJane]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I'm telling you .............you are not looking in the right places......

they/we/us are out there..........and to you and me/us open your eyes and see what is around you

Toughy, you all may be out there but it's very hard to find you. I have done the meetup groups, the clubs, the lessons, etc. and I only seem to find gay women who aren't butch (or femme, for that matter). The one or two I've seen are partnered, too.

I do things I like to do, go places I want, I talk to all sorts of people, and try to find our community among them. Still looking. I just want to have a conversation with my own kind. Thinking of dating you strong butches may become more fantasy than reality in my region.

Part of the problem where I am is that the gay community has become so blended with the hetero world that we are everywhere and nowhere. It is just hard for us to find each other.

[Chancie]

Sweet Jane, I think I understand what you mean. I often think of the difference between the melting pot and the tossed salad metaphors for places that are racially, culturally, and linguistically diverse. I mean, we are talking about femmes and butches and other queer identified people, I know, but is it better to fit in or to maintain a separateness to protect one's own culture?

This digression is brought to you by the letter q and the number 17.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Chancie

Sweet Jane, I think I understand what you mean. I often think of the difference between the melting pot and the tossed salad metaphors for places that are racially, culturally, and linguistically diverse. I mean, we are talking about femmes and butches and other queer identified people, I know, but is it better to fit in or to maintain a separateness to protect one's own culture?

This digression is brought to you by the letter q and the number 17.

I would suggest both have benefits. Separately for cultural reasons and assimilated for political (and other) reasons.

I believe that in our desire to earn our "equal rights" that we have forgotten the importance of the former. Perhaps this is a function of the younger homosexual/queer population being accepted into mainstream society, so they don't need to make their own spaces. However, being in a gay/queer space feeds my soul in a way that I would never want to be without.

The younger generation say they are lucky to have been born in a time when "we" are more accepted. In some ways, yes. But, I wouldn't forego my experiences of discrimination that forced the creation of separate spaces for a more "comfortable" public life, ever.

[SweetJane]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I would suggest both have benefits. Separately for cultural reasons and assimilated for political (and other) reasons.

I believe that in our desire to earn our "equal rights" that we have forgotten the importance of the former. Perhaps this is a function of the younger homosexual/queer population being accepted into mainstream society, so they don't need to make their own spaces. However, being in a gay/queer space feeds my soul in a way that I would never want to be without.

The younger generation say they are lucky to have been born in a time when "we" are more accepted. In some ways, yes. But, I wouldn't forego my experiences of discrimination that forced the creation of separate spaces for a more "comfortable" public life, ever.

Dapper and Chancie, you both make strong points. I think this has been what the black community is dealing with today, meaning younger people looking for a black cultural identity. However for them, it's easier to find their community members. With us, we blend in very well or are accepted....though there are regions in the country where very strongly male ID'd butches are still marginalized.

For me, though, finding community is hard because I don't fit in with the wider lesbian group, though they may think I belong there just because I'm gay. I need to be with my own kind for validation--at the least--and companionship--if that's even possible.