How do you communicate when you're angry?

[Viola]

That is so true about finding that validation from any healthy place can help...

Some times I've notice its not always easy to find that healthy place to validate, especially if ones anger is stem from an extreme unique situation...

Also timing too, meaning how long does it take to find this healthy place to validate.

Have you ever been in that situation where you either couldn't find that healthy place to validate, and or if you thought you found this place, were you ever not understood?

Sue

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I love your metaphor of anger as a dust storm or tornado and it feels right—anger is like a hot wind that takes the breath out of your mouth.

But for me, anger isn't fleeting. If I don't express it—and I try to use my verbal skills—it doesn't go away, it goes underground, and emerges later as self-hatred. I internalize the angry person's view of me, and start to sink into a place where I'm not sure who I am.

I've learned to recognize that process, and my problem-solving skills kick in. I'm good at finding validation outside of the interpersonal dynamic where the anger arose, and I've found that validation from any healthy place can help me climb back up to a happier place.