The Fat Positive Lounge

[nycfem]

I love hearing about your adventures! I have not travelled much in my life and am so intrigued by any culture that values a fat woman. I wonder where in the world would be the best place to visit in terms of a full-figured woman not being automatically judged as being unhealthy and unattractive. Conversely, I wonder what the worst places are. Any thoughts?

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

My recent trip away over Easter with just me and my Backpack brought back memories of when I did a lot of Backpacking in my early 20s for work and pleasure. My fondest memories are of my time in Indonesia, Backpacking with a belly! LOL!

I am fat! I have belly that wobbles when I walk and a bum that echoes my movements. Don’t get me wrong, this is not some life-altering confession a la alcoholics anonymous: Rather, it’s an easy way for you to picture me, climbing up a rope, bum over end into the back of a rocking Indonesian fishing boat, desperately trying not to bounce into the propeller and retain,….. well, at least a crumb of dignity. I have a plus-size body….. Backpacking is always adventurous but it takes on many new twists when a plus-size body, SBO and crutches meets rickety transport, bamboo bridges, and tiny locals who find all westernised people… let alone those with wobbly bellies….. startling!

Let’s take the tiny upright women of central Lombok who are less than half my size. Whether in the multi-coloured chaos of the local markets, the golden rice fields, or the white washed lanes of small villages, my appearance invariably produces animated discussions in Sasak and wild gestures toward me. The boldest of the group comes up to me and slaps my thick arm, uttering more exclamations. Gestures of eating, offers of rice follow.... One old woman pats her hips, expands them large with her hands and then follows her breasts, producing proportions that would make Dolly Parton proud! LOL! The message is always the same; a good breeder. The scene is replayed throughout the islands Polynesia, the Caribbean and southern Europe…

Size is frankly acknowledged and appreciated….. a refreshing change from the weight police. When I learned how to thresh rice, the women circled my waist with their hands and said, “Stay! You are a good worker!” “ But I would eat too much rice, and then there would be more work.” I replied. “Ah yes!” The women nod sagely, ever the wise housekeepers. The Indonesians always appreciated my pride when I come back from a day clambering around the fields with and without my crutches, knowing that I did the best work I could.

They can imagine how hard it is at my size to avoid falling, breaking a delicate bamboo bridge or slipping down a muddy slope. The only murmur of discontent . . . and more often riotous laughter . . . was on local transport, where a combination of my size and innate clumsiness could have proved disastrous. I took up three seats, and with my legs up to my chin, a huge backpack, crutches and my late beloved cat, it took a while to untangle me! LOL! My most fervent wish when squashing past startled locals in their tiny minivans, aiming for an unlikely looking space at the back, is: “Please don’t let me get stuck!” LOL!

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

I love hearing about your adventures! I have not travelled much in my life and am so intrigued by any culture that values a fat woman. I wonder where in the world would be the best place to visit in terms of a full-figured woman not being automatically judged as being unhealthy and unattractive. Conversely, I wonder what the worst places are. Any thoughts?

Thank you! I’ve noticed a huge change in the past 20 years to the attitudes of fat women in various cultures. If you’d asked me these questions 10 years ago, I would have said unreservedly Polynesia, Africa and Indonesia as the best fat friendly places to travel. Sadly, these cultures are now succumbing to the ‘fat is bad and unhealthy’ mentality. There are still people within these cultures who enjoy and accept us fat ladies, but, it’s being pushed behind doors.

Italy enjoys the womanly figure and is accepting; at least they are where my Nonna is from on the Tuscan/Ligurian border. In Norway, I’ve experienced fat positivity, but, not so much in Sweden…

Russia was my biggest shock! I was treated as though I was a Goddess and worth my weight in gold! (That’s a lot of gold, there! LOL!).

Africa was a dream come true! There, a woman’s belly, bum and thighs are deemed the most seductive and attractive….. The bigger the better! A woman can have enormous breasts, yet, they will not be gawked at in the same way. My thighs and belly were often the source of much admiration…

The truth is, I’ve experienced a fair mix of positive and negative acceptance around the world. What has made the difference is how I’ve handled it and handled myself in response to the negativity and myself as a Fat woman with pride and confidence (without being arrogant).

For me, the worst place is here in the UK. I’ve been met with some of the most hurtful and insulting comments and gestures from just walking down the road, minding my own business.

[nycfem]

This is so interesting! You've stayed in such a variety of different places and cultures. What part of Africa is most fat accepting, do you think? My brother's husband is from South Africa, and I've never been there.

That sucks about how hard it is in the UK. And yet, I admire the self-confidence you clearly possess and unwillingness to accept the fat-shaming and negative stereotypes. How did you manage not to drink the Koolaide?

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

Thank you! I’ve noticed a huge change in the past 20 years to the attitudes of fat women in various cultures. If you’d asked me these questions 10 years ago, I would have said unreservedly Polynesia, Africa and Indonesia as the best fat friendly places to travel. Sadly, these cultures are now succumbing to the ‘fat is bad and unhealthy’ mentality. There are still people within these cultures who enjoy and accept us fat ladies, but, it’s being pushed behind doors.

Italy enjoys the womanly figure and is accepting; at least they are where my Nonna is from on the Tuscan/Ligurian border. In Norway, I’ve experienced fat positivity, but, not so much in Sweden…

Russia was my biggest shock! I was treated as though I was a Goddess and worth my weight in gold! (That’s a lot of gold, there! LOL!).

Africa was a dream come true! There, a woman’s belly, bum and thighs are deemed the most seductive and attractive….. The bigger the better! A woman can have enormous breasts, yet, they will not be gawked at in the same way. My thighs and belly were often the source of much admiration…

The truth is, I’ve experienced a fair mix of positive and negative acceptance around the world. What has made the difference is how I’ve handled it and handled myself in response to the negativity and myself as a Fat woman with pride and confidence (without being arrogant).

For me, the worst place is here in the UK. I’ve been met with some of the most hurtful and insulting comments and gestures from just walking down the road, minding my own business.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

This is so interesting! You've stayed in such a variety of different places and cultures. What part of Africa is most fat accepting, do you think? My brother's husband is from South Africa, and I've never been there.

That sucks about how hard it is in the UK. And yet, I admire the self-confidence you clearly possess and unwillingness to accept the fat-shaming and negative stereotypes. How did you manage not to drink the Koolaide?

Kenya (one of my favourite places) and Botswana are fat accepting and encourage their women to be fat…

One of my best friends is South African from Durban; when I went there with her on holiday, I was met with some negativity, but, not a lot.

Crikey! Umm… I know my self confidence and comfort about my body comes from fat positive role models from my Maori and Italian Grandmothers and other fat women within my family. My Maori Grandmother was 5’ 10, weighed 35 stone and was very active and healthy until the day she died. My Italian Grandmother was 5’ 6, weighed about 25 stone and was equally fit and healthy, again until she died. I’m 5’7 and weigh a pleasant amount, yet, I’ve always been active.

My role models refused to be stereotyped by western standards of what a fat person is seen as in their perspectives.

My body is my temple; it may not be the ‘ideal’ of what many may feel is attractive, yet, it’s still mine. It’s taken me on adventures I never dreamed of having. It’s helped keep me fed and with a roof over my head when I worked as an Artist’s model at the GSA in Glasgow. It carried my daughter, nourishing her and keeping her safe.

What has been said to me so often and by Butch’s who usually prefer slender Femmes is; my acceptance of and my comfort with my body and my willingness to enjoy life, despite my size, and not make apologies or excuses for being my size. When people ask why I’m fat, I tell them the truth and that I can’t help my genetics, yet, I can try to keep healthy.

Also, I have a few retorts to fire back should the need arise, lol!

[1QuirkyKiwi]

My brain misplaced this thought... there is (or was. I don't know is it's still the case) a plus size model called Megan Garcia who taught Hatha style Yoga in NYC. She explained how to adapt the Asanas to suit a fat woman's body type and used props as well.

She had a book published called; Mega Yoga.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

I’m sitting here eating a stuffed Avocado and letting my mind musings take a stroll (this can often lead to weird and interesting thoughts and can get me into trouble! LOL!), when I remembered two previous GPs saying that my body shape is that of an Avocado Pear! … It’s between an Apple and a Pear shape. I also remember the huge smile that gave me.

Neither Doctor knew each other, as they were in different countries and when I asked the woman GP who said it, she said that a small percentage of women fall into this category.

If I may ask; are there any other Avocado Pear shapes here?

Are you Pear or Apple shaped?

[aishah]

i'm more hourglass shaped...i'm top and bottom heavy. i carry some weight in my waist but not nearly as much as the rest of me. i love the idea of being avocado shaped! hehe