A kiss is just a kiss

Soon · 04-16-2012, 05:59 PM

Affection was/is (unfortunately) rare in my family--even a kiss on the cheek is rare.

I have only kissed lovers on the lips.

RockOn · 04-16-2012, 06:45 PM

I came from a long line of huggers and kissers so I think nothing of a quick kiss on the lips ... even with some of my straight girlfriends I have not seen in a while and am so happy to see again. My family was very affectionate so I am pretty much a "touch you" when I am talking to you too.

Novelafemme · 04-16-2012, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

I came from a long line of huggers and kissers so I think nothing of a quick kiss on the lips ... even with some of my straight girlfriends I have not seen in a while and am so happy to see again. My family was very affectionate so I am pretty much a "touch you" when I am talking to you too.

Me too! I have learned to keep my hands to myself because not everyone likes their space interrupted by my need to grope them.

I have been totally lost in conversation only to find that I am unabashedly running my fingers through someones hair or rubbing their back. OOPS! Thankfully the people who are my friends know this about me and love me in spite of myself.

SweetJane · 04-16-2012, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

My family was very affectionate so I am pretty much a "touch you" when I am talking to you too.

I do that, too! Even perfect strangers like at the grocery store IF we get into a conversation about something. Often I'll reach out and touch an arm or a hand. If it's a close friend and the conversation is intense, the touching also gets more intense. Usually, it's to make a point or to soften some words.

Miss Scarlett · 04-17-2012, 04:44 AM

For me, kissing anyone other than my partner on the lips is not something i'd do. Though a hug or kiss on the cheek is fine.

my parents were very affectionate towards each other but not to us kids. i have no memories of being held, loved or comforted when i was a child. So when they got older and started traveling it felt "creepy" to me when Mom wanted to kiss me good-bye at the airport and tell me "I love you."

tantalizingfemme · 04-17-2012, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

when Mom wanted to kiss me good-bye at the airport and tell me "I love you."

Yes. Me too. My mother was not a warm person at all, but most of my experiences with her showing affection was always in public, especially in an airport in front of a lot of people. (I moved out when I was 17 and always have lived far from her)

I still get that tightness in my stomach when I think about it, because it always feels phony. (Plus she is always really loud, yelling my name when I am halfway to her.)

tantalizingfemme · 04-17-2012, 05:00 AM

You know, it took me a long time to become comfortable hugging, let alone kissing people. Even though my aunt and uncle (mother's side) and father and paternal grandmother were affectionate with me, I would stiffen if someone hugged me, or hang to the back when everyone was saying goodbye. When I had my son, it was the first time I was able to freely show my affection. When Devon and his little friends would play, they would all seek a hug or a hand to hold on to on the spur of the moment. The openess in which they displayed affection whether it was with me or another adult was so sweet and innocent that I think it helped me become more open to affection from others.

I would have to say that I have become a much more affectionate person the older I get.

tantalizingfemme · 04-16-2012, 06:52 PM

Thank you for all of the responses!!

I, like many, grew up with a mother who never showed affection (unless we were in front of other people and then it was/is a grand show) and a father who hugged and kissed us freely.

It's interesting because I am extremely uncomfortable even just hugging my mother, brother and sister and yet, with my father it was comforting. I made the decision when my son was born that I was going to give him all the affection he wanted and loved all over him until around 12/13 when to even stand close to him in public was horrifying for him.

Around 16/17 he "came back around" and now I take my cues from him. He's cute because sometimes I tell him he has to give his mother a hug and he gets that "geez mom you're so embarrassing but I will do this to humor you and make this all stop" look and give me a hug, but he smiles when he walks away.

Honestly, I stopped for a moment when I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong... but many of you have solidified my resolve to keep kissing til he says no more. Thank you for that.

I really appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts on this...

RockOn · 04-16-2012, 08:28 PM

Kiss him and tell him you love him whenever you can!

The grandmother I loved so much told me:
"If you love someone, tell the person.

Romanic relationships are harder sometimes. I know a femme from my past who will "run rabbit" the hell out of there if I tell her I love her. For, me, I have to pick up on non-verbal signals to learn a femme's comfort/discomfort levels sometimes.

Good idea for a thread!

04-16-2012, 05:59 PM	#1
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,093 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Affection was/is (unfortunately) rare in my family--even a kiss on the cheek is rare. I have only kissed lovers on the lips.

04-16-2012, 06:45 PM	#2
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I came from a long line of huggers and kissers so I think nothing of a quick kiss on the lips ... even with some of my straight girlfriends I have not seen in a while and am so happy to see again. My family was very affectionate so I am pretty much a "touch you" when I am talking to you too.

04-17-2012, 04:44 AM	#5
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	For me, kissing anyone other than my partner on the lips is not something i'd do. Though a hug or kiss on the cheek is fine. my parents were very affectionate towards each other but not to us kids. i have no memories of being held, loved or comforted when i was a child. So when they got older and started traveling it felt "creepy" to me when Mom wanted to kiss me good-bye at the airport and tell me "I love you."

04-17-2012, 05:00 AM	#7
tantalizingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 4,184 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,957 Thanked 3,984 Times in 822 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	You know, it took me a long time to become comfortable hugging, let alone kissing people. Even though my aunt and uncle (mother's side) and father and paternal grandmother were affectionate with me, I would stiffen if someone hugged me, or hang to the back when everyone was saying goodbye. When I had my son, it was the first time I was able to freely show my affection. When Devon and his little friends would play, they would all seek a hug or a hand to hold on to on the spur of the moment. The openess in which they displayed affection whether it was with me or another adult was so sweet and innocent that I think it helped me become more open to affection from others. I would have to say that I have become a much more affectionate person the older I get.

04-16-2012, 06:52 PM	#8
tantalizingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 4,184 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,957 Thanked 3,984 Times in 822 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Thank you for all of the responses!! I, like many, grew up with a mother who never showed affection (unless we were in front of other people and then it was/is a grand show) and a father who hugged and kissed us freely. It's interesting because I am extremely uncomfortable even just hugging my mother, brother and sister and yet, with my father it was comforting. I made the decision when my son was born that I was going to give him all the affection he wanted and loved all over him until around 12/13 when to even stand close to him in public was horrifying for him. Around 16/17 he "came back around" and now I take my cues from him. He's cute because sometimes I tell him he has to give his mother a hug and he gets that "geez mom you're so embarrassing but I will do this to humor you and make this all stop" look and give me a hug, but he smiles when he walks away. Honestly, I stopped for a moment when I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong... but many of you have solidified my resolve to keep kissing til he says no more. Thank you for that. I really appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts on this...

04-16-2012, 08:28 PM	#9
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Kiss him and tell him you love him whenever you can! The grandmother I loved so much told me: "If you love someone, tell the person. Romanic relationships are harder sometimes. I know a femme from my past who will "run rabbit" the hell out of there if I tell her I love her. For, me, I have to pick up on non-verbal signals to learn a femme's comfort/discomfort levels sometimes. Good idea for a thread!