Are butches really a dying breed?

dykeumentary · 04-22-2012, 03:55 PM

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

Rope · 04-22-2012, 04:38 PM

One of my first femme g/f's in my twenties--told me I was too butch. Where she really crossed the line was asking me to wear lacy panties because 'she did that for me'...it ended very soon after that request.

Rope--

dykeumentary · 04-22-2012, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

Corkey · 04-22-2012, 05:43 PM

I think that as with all things, evolution happens. Fluidity is an amazing thing, exploring the facets of identity can be life affirming, and understanding human nature is an ongoing journey. Coming to self can either be an adventure or a weight. So I choose to see the diversity that is Butch, and in that one word, a multitude of expression. Butch is not dead, it is alive and well.

bkisbutchenuff · 04-22-2012, 05:46 PM

Simply...NO! Butch is alive and well!

Martina · 04-23-2012, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

What kinda femmes are you talking to? Lawd, the gall, to police someone's gender presentation like that.

tazz · 04-22-2012, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

***ditto dykeumentary.
when i was a femme, i was told i'm not femme enough. now through my journeys, i've also been told i'm not butch enough.

screw it!! iamwhoiam... if anyone cannot accept me... its Their issue not mine!

~t

tara_kerrie · 04-22-2012, 09:02 PM

My definition of old school: when a butch/guy/trans treats the ladies with respect. They open the doors for them. They bring flowers (first date, first meet, and anything in between). A person would NEVER even think about doing anything with a friend or acquaintance's person (whethet they be together or they know their friend likes them).

I am 28 years old and most of the people that I have been around (other than members of the planet) do not even attempt to open the door for
Their partners. They dont bring flowers.

IMO these are some characteristics of an OSOF butch. These are characteristics that I am PROUD to have.

Breezy · 04-23-2012, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KerrieH

My definition of old school: when a butch/guy/trans treats the ladies with respect. They open the doors for them. They bring flowers (first date, first meet, and anything in between). A person would NEVER even think about doing anything with a friend or acquaintance's person (whethet they be together or they know their friend likes them).

I am 28 years old and most of the people that I have been around (other than members of the planet) do not even attempt to open the door for
Their partners. They dont bring flowers.

IMO these are some characteristics of an OSOF butch. These are characteristics that I am PROUD to have.

Precisely, Kerrie. You keep up the good work. She's coming to you. The one you both deserve.

tara_kerrie · 04-23-2012, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy

Precisely, Kerrie. You keep up the good work. She's coming to you. The one you both deserve.

Thank You Breezy. I will keep up the good work. Surely there is someone out there who will appreciate those things about me!

LaneyDoll · 04-23-2012, 10:10 AM

I am wondering about this...

Could it be that butches and femmes are not so much a dying breed as it is that the entire community is evolving? Today, we have more people identifying as genderfluid/genderqueer/androgynous than we did in the past.

So maybe it is not that breeds are dying as much as they are becoming more specialized?

Luckydwg07 · 04-23-2012, 11:16 AM

I don't believe we've been pinned down yet....I don't think we should. All these terms & styles of butchres will always BE. I can say (now that I have some years to my life) that I have evolved in their minds with more than one terms but I always have been the butch I see today.
Does this make sense? I hope so because I started as a kid being labled atomboy/farm hand then a sporty butch in h.s. then in the mid 80's androgynous when hitting the limelight in nyc & now butch as a mature person. However people r still curious because they sometimes aren't sure how to see me.
I am all of the above and still me.
I just think sometimes names become popular & fashionable for a time & then repeat as time passes as well....we create & as Corkey said keep evolving.
I am too
Thanx for the thread

AtLast · 04-23-2012, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

I am wondering about this...

Could it be that butches and femmes are not so much a dying breed as it is that the entire community is evolving? Today, we have more people identifying as genderfluid/genderqueer/androgynous than we did in the past.

So maybe it is not that breeds are dying as much as they are becoming more specialized?

I think what you are saying here makes a lot of sense and personally, even as a butch in my 60's, feel this is positive. I have always felt that my being a butch is centered in gender fluidity and that one does not have to be trans or inter-gendered to reap the benefits of a more open way to experience gender as it is evolving today.

We are a sub-set within the glorious range of gender identity that is evolving today. In the future, I hope that statements like butches being a "dying breed" finds its way out of our conversations. Always feels like a "vs." statement that has caused pain between all of us and impeded our ability to communicate.

When I first saw the title to this thread, I have to admit, I thought about how it might be viewed as anti-trans to some members. Although, posts are from a various members with differing gender identifications- kewl!

04-22-2012, 03:55 PM	#1
dykeumentary Member How Do You Identify?: butch dyke Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 449 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 341 Thanked 1,548 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 19160663	I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them. It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway. __________________ The Origins of Butch & Femme (a retelling): https://youtu.be/U7VkXpZl4Mk Watch more of my funny butch/femme movies here: https://www.youtube.com/dykeumentary1

04-22-2012, 04:38 PM	#2
Rope Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hy Relationship Status: polyamorous Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: San Francisco Posts: 304 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 79 Thanked 1,277 Times in 212 Posts Rep Power: 8577864	One of my first femme g/f's in my twenties--told me I was too butch. Where she really crossed the line was asking me to wear lacy panties because 'she did that for me'...it ended very soon after that request. Rope-- __________________ www.ButchFemmeSocials.com

04-22-2012, 05:43 PM	#4
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I think that as with all things, evolution happens. Fluidity is an amazing thing, exploring the facets of identity can be life affirming, and understanding human nature is an ongoing journey. Coming to self can either be an adventure or a weight. So I choose to see the diversity that is Butch, and in that one word, a multitude of expression. Butch is not dead, it is alive and well. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

04-23-2012, 10:10 AM	#11
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am wondering about this... Could it be that butches and femmes are not so much a dying breed as it is that the entire community is evolving? Today, we have more people identifying as genderfluid/genderqueer/androgynous than we did in the past. So maybe it is not that breeds are dying as much as they are becoming more specialized? __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.

04-23-2012, 11:16 AM	#12
Luckydwg07 Member How Do You Identify?: Yes Ma'am! Butchiness- hard shell candy with a soft center Relationship Status: I've bee found-Life has new meaning to me Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: yankee in southern waters Posts: 352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 685 Thanked 312 Times in 136 Posts Rep Power: 2730229	the pinyada :) labels - blindfold??? I don't believe we've been pinned down yet....I don't think we should. All these terms & styles of butchres will always BE. I can say (now that I have some years to my life) that I have evolved in their minds with more than one terms but I always have been the butch I see today. Does this make sense? I hope so because I started as a kid being labled atomboy/farm hand then a sporty butch in h.s. then in the mid 80's androgynous when hitting the limelight in nyc & now butch as a mature person. However people r still curious because they sometimes aren't sure how to see me. I am all of the above and still me. I just think sometimes names become popular & fashionable for a time & then repeat as time passes as well....we create & as Corkey said keep evolving. I am too Thanx for the thread __________________ Dogs' Lives are too Short. Their Only Fault Really. Agnos Sligh Turnbull

04-22-2012, 05:46 PM	#5
bkisbutchenuff PPoA - Southern Gentle Butch How Do You Identify?: BOI/Butch/Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, he, him, handsome, Daddy Relationship Status: Single. 😉 Join Date: May 2011 Location: GA Posts: 2,398 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,071 Thanked 10,845 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Simply...NO! Butch is alive and well!

04-22-2012, 09:02 PM	#8
tara_kerrie Member How Do You Identify?: Whatever you want to call us Preferred Pronoun?: Her, she, Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Wherever these 18 wheels take us Posts: 583 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 484 Thanked 1,366 Times in 441 Posts Rep Power: 17763586	My definition of old school: when a butch/guy/trans treats the ladies with respect. They open the doors for them. They bring flowers (first date, first meet, and anything in between). A person would NEVER even think about doing anything with a friend or acquaintance's person (whethet they be together or they know their friend likes them). I am 28 years old and most of the people that I have been around (other than members of the planet) do not even attempt to open the door for Their partners. They dont bring flowers. IMO these are some characteristics of an OSOF butch. These are characteristics that I am PROUD to have.