Talk to me about hair.

[LuckyButch-1982]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

[Isadora]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

I cut my hair short for several reasons:
1. it makes me feel more femme
2. it is part of my culture to cut my hair as part of a a life change ritual
3. it really shows off my eyebrows and face, I have perfect eyebrow karma.
4. it makes me look ten years younger and I am a vain fucker
5. it delights me to prove people that believe like you wrong, and
6. I am in the process of cutting away all the colouring in my hair to let it be natural.

I have very short hair at the moment, no one would ever say I had butch or masculine tendencies. Well, unless you call bossy masculine? Cause I am that, too. Or if you call self supportive masculine? Cause I am that, too.

[La Perla]

how fun to go on youtube and get hair ideas. i like this method for putting my hair up. if you get it slightly moist, you can look great running around, then you have curls when you take it down. voila.

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by Isadora

I cut my hair short for several reasons:
1. it makes me feel more femme
2. it is part of my culture to cut my hair as part of a a life change ritual
3. it really shows off my eyebrows and face, I have perfect eyebrow karma.
4. it makes me look ten years younger and I am a vain fucker
5. it delights me to prove people that believe like you wrong, and
6. I am in the process of cutting away all the colouring in my hair to let it be natural.

I have very short hair at the moment, no one would ever say I had butch or masculine tendencies. Well, unless you call bossy masculine? Cause I am that, too. Or if you call self supportive masculine? Cause I am that, too.

I want to see your lovely locks. I betcha you look absolutely fabulous!

and I too simply look better with shorter hair, yes... the eyebrow karma is a very good thing

and yes, though I am loathe to admit it, I am a vain fucker too, aren't we all on some level or another?

[Tattoogurl]

Hey ladies..

I LOVE hair, I mess with mine at least once a week or once every 2 weeks.. My momma always tells me, "your hair is gonna fall out" well momma its been many moons and it hasnt fallen out yet!!

Have fun with your hair it grows back lol..

[Gemme]

I had the one of the worst hair experiences with a salon less than a couple of weeks ago. I was getting my hair cut (donated to Locks of Love!) and colored for the Reunion and things seemed to be fine at first. I loved the style and the way the color turned out, but when I woke up the next morning, it looked like I had beaten Barney and/or Grimmace to death while in bed.

One side of my face, my hands and my sheets and pillows were stained purple. Not purple in a 'that's a normal amount of transfer for a new semi-permanent coloring' but a 'the bitch didn't rinse all of the product out of my hair' thing! After fighting with the manager about having the stylist redo my hair and Luvs calling back again once I'd gone to work, I got in later that day for the stylist to remedy the issue and that's when things got really ugly. She begrudgingly washed my hair (after only wanting to dab some cotton to my head....which I already did that morning so that I could go to work without purple smeared down my face) and then started to restyle it.

I was turned away from the mirror and didn't see how badly she was damaging my hair until I smelled the burning. She absolutely fried my hair in several sections. I mean, that hair has been completely singed and now is the texture of a scrubbing brush. Brutal! Then she started snipping at my hair to cut off the burnt ends, winding up with a similar but different cut than what I had and what liked.

The sad irony? After all that....the redo and the burning of my hair and it being cut into a less pleasing style....she still left product in my hair, which I had to wash out at home that night.



I paid 2 c notes for that treatment too. Well, they will NOT be getting any more of my money and I have blacklisted them with anyone that will listen.

I did, however, learn that Ulta has a salon inside their store and the stylists there seem to be much better and the prices are better too. It's a win win for the next time I go in, but for now....I have weeks to months of hair growing before all of the singed hair will be gone.

Sad!

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I had the one of the worst hair experiences with a salon less than a couple of weeks ago. I was getting my hair cut (donated to Locks of Love!) and colored for the Reunion and things seemed to be fine at first. I loved the style and the way the color turned out, but when I woke up the next morning, it looked like I had beaten Barney and/or Grimmace to death while in bed.

One side of my face, my hands and my sheets and pillows were stained purple. Not purple in a 'that's a normal amount of transfer for a new semi-permanent coloring' but a 'the bitch didn't rinse all of the product out of my hair' thing! After fighting with the manager about having the stylist redo my hair and Luvs calling back again once I'd gone to work, I got in later that day for the stylist to remedy the issue and that's when things got really ugly. She begrudgingly washed my hair (after only wanting to dab some cotton to my head....which I already did that morning so that I could go to work without purple smeared down my face) and then started to restyle it.

I was turned away from the mirror and didn't see how badly she was damaging my hair until I smelled the burning. She absolutely fried my hair in several sections. I mean, that hair has been completely singed and now is the texture of a scrubbing brush. Brutal! Then she started snipping at my hair to cut off the burnt ends, winding up with a similar but different cut than what I had and what liked.

The sad irony? After all that....the redo and the burning of my hair and it being cut into a less pleasing style....she still left product in my hair, which I had to wash out at home that night.



I paid 2 c notes for that treatment too. Well, they will NOT be getting any more of my money and I have blacklisted them with anyone that will listen.

I did, however, learn that Ulta has a salon inside their store and the stylists there seem to be much better and the prices are better too. It's a win win for the next time I go in, but for now....I have weeks to months of hair growing before all of the singed hair will be gone.

Sad!

I'm sorry to hear about the terrible experience you had.

In my former career of beauty (hairdressing), this was exactly how I built my clientele - solving lots of miscarriages of service: color, styling, cuts, service (big emphasis on service).

Just know I'd help you in a heartbeat if you lived out here on the west coast, Gemme.

[~ocean]

^5 Katzchen thank god for ppl like urself , I just cut all my long hair off .. first last spring i cut about 7 " off then 3 weeks ago i cut it all off . and I LOVE IT !! the tops and sides are layered. I had a hairdresser do the length .. It's a very piecey cut .. sexy when i bloe it out .. boppy when i leave it curly. I did the layering myself. for some reason I cant find a good hairdresser that can cut and style curly hair. I can't wear a straight cut hair style ..

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

Some femees look fantastic weith short/really short hair. Just like some butches look great with long hair.

For the life of me, I just don't get gender assignment or any role of one's sexuality distinction about hair.

hell, I've seen femmes that were totally hot with shaved heads!

[pinkgeek]

Oooh I wish I could have short hair! My lovely thick curly hair cut short would leave me looking like Ronald McDonald!

Originally Posted by AtLast

Some femees look fantastic weith short/really short hair. Just like some butches look great with long hair.

For the life of me, I just don't get gender assignment or any role of one's sexuality distinction about hair.

hell, I've seen femmes that were totally hot with shaved heads!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Better yet how about you don't roll up into The FEMME Zone with that kind of sexist shit.

That would be AWESOME!

[willow]

My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[justkim]

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?

Originally Posted by flutter

My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[willow]

Originally Posted by justkim

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?

I did get the holes filled in. And, next weekend I'll fill in the new ones

[Nurse Darlin]

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[nycfem]

Makes me think of the saying, "If God wanted people to be gay, God would have made Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve."

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[aishah]

wow. why is it that people associate long hair with being female? i mean -that is biologically essentialist and somewhat transmisogynist on top of being really upsetting in general.

personally i am femme and have had long hair, short hair, and shaved (bald) hair. because my hair is super thick, frizzy, and dry, i prefer it either long or bald - currently it's long. but i was no less femme when i was bald...and actually it was emotionally and physically an extremely affirming thing for me as a femme when i did go bald. specifically because my whole life people have attached so much meaning to my hair and i've felt a lot of pain and pressure because of it - shaving allowed me to let go of a lot of that bullshit.

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

i henna my hair using body art quality henna powder mixed with lemon juice, and i use coconut oil to make it more manageable. i've never used chemical dyes over henna but if the henna and the chemical dyes are both good, your hair shouldn't fall out. however, because henna binds to the hair unlike chemical dyes (it's reallllllly permanent), you may have some weird color reactions if you try to dye over it. that's why i usually don't recommend henna to folks who are really into getting specific color results or who use chemical dyes a lot.

[KayCee]

Originally Posted by aishah

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

I used to have thick long hair, wavy and if I let it air dry it was full of curls. Many people complimented me on it. But due to an ailment I had to let it get cut off and wear it shorter now...and feel no less femme than I have before with long hair...and it goes and looks good with ANY clothes I choose to wear.


If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....

And what about bio men who like to wear long hair? Are they femmes too?..lol..no, but seriously:

Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!

[Beloved]

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

I am sure this wasn't your intention, but this "opinion" may come across as insensitive to some here. And it's kind of surprising to me to find this opinion on a butch-femme-genderqueer forum. Lots of butch women/trans were forced to wear dresses, have long hair, and the like. Gender is fluid and if your daughters are truly "girly" short hair can never take that away from them. And if they are not girly, it's better to let them be whoever they are. I don't usually get into the God thing, but since you did, God made everyone and there is a great variation in gender and gender expression and I am soooo glad for that! Without it the butch/femme dynamic wouldn't exist.

Have a happy 4th.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

So I happen to be a Femme Top I've had my hair short and long and not once during my short hair trial was I having "Tweener Butch Tendencies"

I'm not sure what that really means or implies perhaps you could shed a light on what you mean?

I personally find your post to be WRONG, SEXIST and LACKING EDUCATION regarding gender appropriation.