Coming out, quick version

Beloved · 04-23-2012, 03:19 PM

In the "It Hurts Me" thread Firedance said:

Quote:

I can handle being invisible. I have coming out to strangers down to an art form. I have a 30 second, two minute, and 20 minute version of my own gender-education/dynamic-education talk that I deliver to strangers, acquaintances, and friends regularly.

and thedivahrrrself said:

Quote:

This made me laugh out loud, because I have the same 3 versions, depending on the audience!

I'd love to know what you say! I find when non b/f people start questioning me it's kinda rude. I don't go around asking people why they are attracted to the people they are attracted to. I don't really want to know. But I understand they are curious.

My sister is constantly questioning me about it. It's annoying. Hasn't she heard of google? She wouldn't get it anyway.

Apocalipstic · 04-23-2012, 03:42 PM

Quick version is:

"Pass the salsa, I'm a Lesbian."

Quick answer to "you have just not found the right man":

"and let me guess, you're the chosen one"

Quick answer to "well why not just date a man then":

"I like pussy"

Quick answer to "but you use a strap on":

"I wear it" or "it does not squirt disgusting stuff"

Quick answer to "why would you choose to be Femme"

"in Butch clothes I look too much like Truman Capote"

The_Lady_Snow · 04-23-2012, 03:47 PM

I ask what makes you so rude that you gotta be up in my sexuality, I don't ask you why you're hetero...

girl_dee · 04-23-2012, 03:58 PM

Maybe it's my saucy disposition but no one has ever asked me such things, i'd eat their lunch possibly!

JAGG · 04-23-2012, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Maybe it's my saucy disposition but no one has ever asked me such things, i'd eat their lunch possibly!

Cool! Next time I get bored with the same old tv dinner as usual, I'll ask you something like that, you can eat my lunch then I'll have a reason to get chinese food or something really good. Thanks for the info!!!! I'll be hitting you up soon I suspect. lol

Apocalipstic · 04-23-2012, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Maybe it's my saucy disposition but no one has ever asked me such things, i'd eat their lunch possibly!

They never ask me anything personal again! lol.

thedivahrrrself · 04-23-2012, 04:26 PM

For the Long Version, I like to use the gingerbread person:

So, I explain that while I am female and express femininity, I am attracted to those who express as masculine, but who are chromosonally XX, be they FTM, TG, or butch women, which makes me queer and often at odds with the popular lesbian community.

The 5-second version usually involves the phrase "my ex-wife" [was the same way, did the same thing, took all my money] LOL It's relatively clear.

I rarely utter the words "I am a lesbian". Straight people don't say "I'm straight". They just talk about their life like it's completely normal, even if I think they're weird. ("My boyfriend loves fireworks and builds rockets.") So, I follow their lead and do the same thing. ("Your boyfriend likes blowing stuff up too? The woman I'm dating helped design the cruise missile system. One of our favorite vacation spots is near a blast site.")

I used to "come out" in those terms, "I'm gay". But it opens people up for a political conversation I don't always care to have. Approaching it the other way does not leave them any room to attack. It says, "we are not different" rather than "I am different from you in this way" It does not have an agenda, except to seek common ground.

Even the most conservative people have a hard time labeling you as some radical dyke if you approach things in this way. You're talking about your life, I'm talking about mine. We're just two people wandering through the world. If they are that averse to gays, they'll politely end the conversation and stop telling me about their gross hairy boyfriend in the future. It's a win-win.

MrSunshine · 04-23-2012, 04:26 PM

I've always worked with men. I get called sir constantly. Men would still hit on me. I usually found myself saying to them something along the lines of "really bitch"?

thedivahrrrself · 04-23-2012, 04:31 PM

And if they invoke religion, I simply reply, "Well, God made me a lesbian because He knows how much I hate body hair. The idea of curling up to a bushy, hairy armpit makes my stomach turn"

1QuirkyKiwi · 04-23-2012, 04:37 PM

When asked; in the past I’ve replied with these…

One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?”
Me: “Why, yes I am! Thanks for asking!”

One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?”
Me: “Can I ask if you are?”
One who seeks to know: “No!”
Me: “Oh bugger!”

One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?”
Me: “Yes, I am! And so is Christmas!”

genghisfawn · 04-23-2012, 04:45 PM

If someone asks me straight out, I say that I am. But most people don't... they'll usually dance around it, saying, "Are you married? Seeing anyone? Dating?" and I just smile and say, "Eventually." That could mean anything... 10 years, 10 minutes after I leave work....

Quintease · 04-23-2012, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

And if they invoke religion, I simply reply, "Well, God made me a lesbian because He knows how much I hate body hair. The idea of curling up to a bushy, hairy armpit makes my stomach turn"

I can't use that any more as I love my hubby's body hair. Who'da thought it!

I used to explain my sexuality to people, until I got bored. I wasn't put on this earth to educate them. The less I cared the less grief I seemed to get, but maybe I don't remember it as it stopped bothering me.

girl_dee · 04-23-2012, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAGG

Cool! Next time I get bored with the same old tv dinner as usual, I'll ask you something like that, you can eat my lunch then I'll have a reason to get chinese food or something really good. Thanks for the info!!!! I'll be hitting you up soon I suspect. lol

&#*(@&(**#(@!*)#* !!!

girl_dee · 04-23-2012, 07:25 PM

i once told a man that if he and i were the last two people on Earth mankind would end with us.

JAGG · 04-23-2012, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

&#*(@&(**#(@!*)#* !!!

oh great there goes my chinese take out hopes.

starryeyes · 04-23-2012, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

And if they invoke religion, I simply reply, "Well, God made me a lesbian because He knows how much I hate body hair. The idea of curling up to a bushy, hairy armpit makes my stomach turn"

Hahahahah love it!

girl_dee · 04-23-2012, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAGG

oh great there goes my chinese take out hopes.

Exactly! ......

04-23-2012, 03:42 PM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,363 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Quick version is: "Pass the salsa, I'm a Lesbian." Quick answer to "you have just not found the right man": "and let me guess, you're the chosen one" Quick answer to "well why not just date a man then": "I like pussy" Quick answer to "but you use a strap on": "I wear it" or "it does not squirt disgusting stuff" Quick answer to "why would you choose to be Femme" "in Butch clothes I look too much like Truman Capote" __________________

04-23-2012, 03:47 PM	#3
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,098 Times in 15,676 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Nip it the bud I ask what makes you so rude that you gotta be up in my sexuality, I don't ask you why you're hetero... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

04-23-2012, 04:26 PM	#7
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,658 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	For the Long Version, I like to use the gingerbread person: So, I explain that while I am female and express femininity, I am attracted to those who express as masculine, but who are chromosonally XX, be they FTM, TG, or butch women, which makes me queer and often at odds with the popular lesbian community. The 5-second version usually involves the phrase "my ex-wife" [was the same way, did the same thing, took all my money] LOL It's relatively clear. I rarely utter the words "I am a lesbian". Straight people don't say "I'm straight". They just talk about their life like it's completely normal, even if I think they're weird. ("My boyfriend loves fireworks and builds rockets.") So, I follow their lead and do the same thing. ("Your boyfriend likes blowing stuff up too? The woman I'm dating helped design the cruise missile system. One of our favorite vacation spots is near a blast site.") I used to "come out" in those terms, "I'm gay". But it opens people up for a political conversation I don't always care to have. Approaching it the other way does not leave them any room to attack. It says, "we are not different" rather than "I am different from you in this way" It does not have an agenda, except to seek common ground. Even the most conservative people have a hard time labeling you as some radical dyke if you approach things in this way. You're talking about your life, I'm talking about mine. We're just two people wandering through the world. If they are that averse to gays, they'll politely end the conversation and stop telling me about their gross hairy boyfriend in the future. It's a win-win. __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

04-23-2012, 04:31 PM	#9
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,658 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	And if they invoke religion, I simply reply, "Well, God made me a lesbian because He knows how much I hate body hair. The idea of curling up to a bushy, hairy armpit makes my stomach turn" __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

04-23-2012, 04:37 PM	#10
1QuirkyKiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: BBW. Unique femininity that does not encompass the western paradigm. Preferred Pronoun?: Anything Respectful! Relationship Status: Single, Happy, not Desparate or Looking, but Open to Possibilities... Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Europe and Aotearoa on a 5:2 ratio. Posts: 2,308 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,003 Thanked 6,035 Times in 1,617 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	When asked; in the past I’ve replied with these… One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?” Me: “Why, yes I am! Thanks for asking!” One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?” Me: “Can I ask if you are?” One who seeks to know: “No!” Me: “Oh bugger!” One who seeks to know: “Are you gay?” Me: “Yes, I am! And so is Christmas!” __________________ What will make the difference to me is your strength of character and what's in your heart...

04-23-2012, 03:58 PM	#4
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,862 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Maybe it's my saucy disposition but no one has ever asked me such things, i'd eat their lunch possibly!

04-23-2012, 04:26 PM	#8
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I've always worked with men. I get called sir constantly. Men would still hit on me. I usually found myself saying to them something along the lines of "really bitch"?

04-23-2012, 04:45 PM	#11
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	If someone asks me straight out, I say that I am. But most people don't... they'll usually dance around it, saying, "Are you married? Seeing anyone? Dating?" and I just smile and say, "Eventually." That could mean anything... 10 years, 10 minutes after I leave work....

04-23-2012, 07:25 PM	#14
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,862 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	i once told a man that if he and i were the last two people on Earth mankind would end with us.