It Hurts Me.

Quintease · 04-24-2012, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy

I hate the term lady and I cringe every time I see it used in reference to any female-bodied human including femmes. It really does smack of the patriarchy to me. A lady does this and does not do that. Ladies don't show cleavage. Ladies don't act like sluts. Ladies don't swear. Ladies don't walk down the street smoking a cigarette. Ladies cannot open a door for themselves. Ladies do dress conservatively. Ladies wear dresses. Ladies are demur and soft-spoken.

I find it interesting how much distaste out there for Lady. I don't use it, yet I know many women who do, I know many gay women who use it regularly. But still it's not common in the gay scene. I went to a lesbian friendly workshop run by a friend of mine. In one of her talks she called us 'you guys' and one of her co-organisers (straight) corrected her with 'ladies'.

Toughy · 04-24-2012, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

I find it interesting how much distaste out there for Lady. I don't use it, yet I know many women who do, I know many gay women who use it regularly. But still it's not common in the gay scene. I went to a lesbian friendly workshop run by a friend of mine. In one of her talks she called us 'you guys' and one of her co-organisers (straight) corrected her with 'ladies'.

ok..............you reminded me of when I do use it.............it's when I am jokingly sarcastically calling a butch or femme friend(s) a 'gay lady' because of something they are wearing or said or did.....I know, I know, not politically correct but I am like that sometimes.....

(like when a b/f couple end up wearing almost identical clothes and it does happen....they be gay ladies or the ponytail sticking out of the neon orange baseball cap with matching neon orange shorts and an orange striped polo shirt...she be a gay lady)

Apocalipstic · 04-24-2012, 03:58 PM

LMAO Toughy! Sounds like a University of Tennessee women's basketball game.

I actually do say "lady" for example when I don't know someone's name...ie "the nice lady who helped my aunt".
or the "nice check out lady".

It is a Southern thing, but I probably do need to reconsider its use.

It KILLS me when I go out to eat with obvious Dykes and we get called "ladies"...especially when the wait-person is also obviously a Lesbian. lmaorof.

BullDog · 04-24-2012, 04:00 PM

Um... when my femme gf and I go to Lady Vols games we are both wearing orange. She likes the term lady for herself, I do not.

The_Lady_Snow · 04-24-2012, 04:02 PM

Oh my GAY! is the South ever notorious for how women or female bodied folks are addressed. I want to rip eyeballs out when I get the honey, lady, girl, sweetie or missy.

I have a name use it, if not don't.

Arghhh

Apocalipstic · 04-24-2012, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Oh my GAY! is the South ever notorious for how women or female bodied folks are addressed. I want to rip eyeballs out when I get the honey, lady, girl, sweetie or missy.

I have a name use it, if not don't.

Arghhh

Eeeek, I say all of those things. My personal fav being "Little Missy"

Men get called honey and sweetie too though. Does that help??

Admittedly, a lot of it has to do with me going blank on people's names. lol.

The_Lady_Snow · 04-24-2012, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Eeeek, I say all of those things. My personal fav being "Little Missy"

Men get called honey and sweetie too though. Does that help??

Admittedly, a lot of it has to do with me going blank on people's names. lol.

No it doesn't help, it's enabling the shenanigans that you can cross boundaries.

I don't want to walk into a place of business and be spoken to like I'm in pre-school.

The feminist in me SCREAMS when someone dumbs me down or dismisses my wajt with a sugar or a sweetie after I've asked for something 60 x's...

Corkey · 04-24-2012, 05:16 PM

I use "folks", leaves the gender identifying the hell out of simple conversations and no one gets their feathers, boxers, panties, commando pants, ruffled.

*Anya* · 04-24-2012, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Oh my GAY! is the South ever notorious for how women or female bodied folks are addressed. I want to rip eyeballs out when I get the honey, lady, girl, sweetie or missy.

I have a name use it, if not don't.

Arghhh

I totally agree!

Unless you are my lover or my mother, do not call me honey or sweetie or any other term that intimates a level of familiarity that we do not possess!

I particularly hate it at the doctor or dentist office.

04-24-2012, 03:58 PM	#3
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	LMAO Toughy! Sounds like a University of Tennessee women's basketball game. I actually do say "lady" for example when I don't know someone's name...ie "the nice lady who helped my aunt". or the "nice check out lady". It is a Southern thing, but I probably do need to reconsider its use. It KILLS me when I go out to eat with obvious Dykes and we get called "ladies"...especially when the wait-person is also obviously a Lesbian. lmaorof. __________________ Last edited by Apocalipstic; 04-24-2012 at 04:05 PM.

04-24-2012, 04:00 PM	#4
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,655 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Um... when my femme gf and I go to Lady Vols games we are both wearing orange. She likes the term lady for herself, I do not. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-24-2012, 04:02 PM	#5
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,080 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	So off topic sorry Oh my GAY! is the South ever notorious for how women or female bodied folks are addressed. I want to rip eyeballs out when I get the honey, lady, girl, sweetie or missy. I have a name use it, if not don't. Arghhh __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

04-24-2012, 05:16 PM	#8
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I use "folks", leaves the gender identifying the hell out of simple conversations and no one gets their feathers, boxers, panties, commando pants, ruffled. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)