What makes a Butch "Butch"

Mr. Cynthia · 05-05-2012, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Going to go back a few posts and comment on the hair cut and Butches wearing a dress..I kinda know something about both subjects..

Is a butch any less a butch if they are wearing a dress..??..I say no..My little brother was getting married and my mom,sister and grandma was giving me a real hard time about what i was going to wear..They were pushing me real hard on wearing a dress..I wasnt in the wedding so couldnt i wear what i want..??..Well took it as a dare and me and my girlfriend at the time went shopping for a dress for me..Yep bought one and wore it..I felt out of place so bad that i was very uncomfortable..It seemed like everyone came to the wedding to see if i was going to wear that dress..My girlfriend liked seeing me in it..Couldnt wait till i could take it off..Ok i got the dress and wearing it and my sister makes the comment on how i was walking..REALLY..?..I put the dress on and it still wasnt enough..I cant change the walk/swagger even in a dress..I wasnt any less a Butch in a dress,,just an uncomfortable one..That was about 25-26 years ago..They are still married..

A few years later my older sister was getting married..Here we go again..This time she asked me to be in the wedding..That was quite an ordeal because they were going to get married on my 21st birthday..WHAT.!!.You are going to make me wear a dress on my 21st BIRTHDAY and plan my day according to what you want me to do..Ummm NO.!.I turned down the offer to be in the wedding because of my birthaday and didnt want to wear a dress the whole entire day..On my Birthday.!!.That caused a bunch of trouble..She wouldnt change the wedding day and i wouldnt change my mind..My Butchness was fully entact that day..My other sisters boyfriend took me across the street and bought me my first legal drink while the pictures were being taken..Think we had a few..That was about 20-22 years ago..They are still married..

Yet another wedding..Another sister is getting married..She asked me to be in her wedding and i accepted..We had to wear a light pink dress with a big bow on our a#ses..Not a pretty sight or dress..None of us liked it..It was very low cut and if we bent over far enough you could see all the way to our bellybuttons..Oh yeah flower in our hair..I took that out imediately or as soon as i could..Very uncomfortable and i felt like an idiot..Again i was told to walk like a girl..How can i do that being a butch..??..Anyway it was time to take that dress off..I went out to my car and got my other clothes..Went in the bathroom to change and my grandma was in there..I said i am sorry grandma and that da#n hoop dress went right over my head and on the floor..There i was naked infront of grandma..I felt more comfortable like that than with that dress on..Put on my tightest pair of Levis and my "dress up t-shirt" with my hiking boots..Went out sat with my cousins and said now it is time to drink..My cousin smiled put a cup in front of me and filled that thing up..That marriage was over less than 3 years..{told ya,but what do i know}..

Now the hair..I prefer a little length..When i was little mom forced me to have short hair..It was her decision on how i was to wear my hair not mine..I didnt like the way it looked on me..Thought it made my ears stick out..So i like my hair to cover my ears..Told my hair girl the story and she cuts/trims accordinly..

Now with that being said..Through all those dresses and longer hair..I am still a butch on the inside and able to express it on the outside..No one can change that with a dress..It is what i feel and what i am..I am a Butch woman and very secure with that..

Kinda funny.. A few months ago i had to attend a funeral of a close family member..The kids were taking bets on what i was going to wear..Not a dress this time it was dress pants or the Levis..I picked the Levis and a shirt i ironed..They told me about it and who won..We laughed about it..The kids were not around during the dress time..They do know i will not be wearing a dress at any time even on Halloween..They know i am a Butch and respect that as it is and they dont care how i walk either..Love those kids..

sorry it got kinda long
thanks for reading

s..

Damn, I'm glad I've only got one sister! I didn't wear a dress to her wedding but I did grow out my flat top and wear a women's suit - for my mom, not my sister.

In fact, when I asked my sister if she was gonna want me in a dress for the big day, she laughed out loud and said, "Don't be silly, you'd look ridiculous."

I think she was secretly afraid that the novelty of her big bulldyke sister in a dress would become the one thing everybody remembered about her wedding...

Billy · 05-05-2012, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Cynthia

Damn, I'm glad I've only got one sister! I didn't wear a dress to her wedding but I did grow out my flat top and wear a women's suit - for my mom, not my sister.

In fact, when I asked my sister if she was gonna want me in a dress for the big day, she laughed out loud and said, "Don't be silly, you'd look ridiculous."

I think she was secretly afraid that the novelty of her big bulldyke sister in a dress would become the one thing everybody remembered about her wedding...

I was trying to remember how long its been since I was in said dress .. It was at My fathers wedding I did it for him , it was not pretty at all .. I think it looked like a football player in drag ! lol

rustedrims · 05-05-2012, 07:39 PM

Hey Mr.Cynthia..
The kids are all in their early 20's and would never concider even asking if i was going to wear a dress for any reason..They know i am not going to..Why cant those other people let me be me..It is Levis and a ironed shirt or a Tux for the Grand Ball..Those are the choices..The kids get it..

Billy..
Yeah..Thinking back on those days i am sure i looked like i was in Drag..It will never happen again..If i am invited to share an important day in their lives what difference does it really make what i am wearing..Isnt it important that i show up and share the day with them..No to dresses and still am a Butch inside and out..

About a month ago i had a very important meeting i had to go to..Even still my mom pointed her finger in my face and gave me her opinion on what i should wear..Bascially dont dress like a Butch she was trying to say..Threw the dresses away many years ago so the Levis and a shirt..What i was wearing had no affect on the out come of that meeting..Hummm Really.??.

rustedrims · 05-05-2012, 07:54 PM

As i read in the Planet i see how we as Butches and Femmes have fallen into the ways of the people around us and do what they expect of us..At the time i think we go numb and "act out" what is expected of us in a straight world to fit in to their enviroment not to upset the apple cart..Ya know i think we are all tired of tip toeing around that apple cart not to knock it over..That cart needs to be kicked over to let everyone know that we are here and we arent going away anytime soon..Butch or Femme we are humans and do have feelings of acceptance and rejection..

Leigh · 05-05-2012, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustedrims

As i read in the Planet i see how we as Butches and Femmes have fallen into the ways of the people around us and do what they expect of us..At the time i think we go numb and "act out" what is expected of us in a straight world to fit in to their enviroment not to upset the apple cart..Ya know i think we are all tired of tip toeing around that apple cart not to knock it over..That cart needs to be kicked over to let everyone know that we are here and we arent going away anytime soon..Butch or Femme we are humans and do have feelings of acceptance and rejection..

I know its really easy for us to act a certain way because that is what the straight world expects of us. If only they would accept us for who we all are and not make us act a certain way or be a certain person just to appease them. Absolutely butches and femmes have feelings; we all want to be accepted and loved without the fear of being rejected.

Billy · 05-06-2012, 06:32 AM

I have enjoyed reading this thread ...
I remember when I went to My first bash , It was confusing for Me ...I saw folks like Toughy and Mr C that where very masculine and yet folks would say she or her ..I caught Myself saying he or him , I did not understand all that at the time ..Its threads like this that really help folks understand how different we all are and it's ok I STILL have a hard time keeping up with ALL the ID's , but I do My best to not disrespect anyone ..

Morgan · 05-06-2012, 01:19 PM

These posts are great...I have enjoyed reading them.

I went out last night and yes, I dressed to the hilt. I found a black "Jones Wear" dress at the second hand store, tags were still on it, a pair of black 3" pumps, black strapless bra, skimpy undies, black thigh hose, bangles, necklace, large hoop earrings and yes those are fake glue on nails. I had Starryeyes help me with the makeup and my hair and I went into San Diego and met up with some friends at an event. I managed to walk and stand for 3 hours last night, before I finally had enough and changed back into my real clothes....I admire the femmes for putting so much work into being femme. It was a lot of work to get myself out the door and park the car, catch the shuttle and head over to the event without guys oogling and staring at me. Walking up the long flight of stairs and not tripping was a hoot.

Would I do it again...perhaps, for me being a butch is not on the outside, but on the inside. I am a woman first and it felt good to embrace the feminine side of myself, if only just for a night.

I am sharing the link here. http://s206.photobucket.com/albums/b...gan%20picture/

Mr. Cynthia · 05-05-2012, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy

I was trying to remember how long its been since I was in said dress .. It was at My fathers wedding I did it for him , it was not pretty at all .. I think it looked like a football player in drag ! lol

I did drag for Halloween one year- back when I practically lived at the bar. I had some of the girls from work put makeup on me, wore a real wig and a normal outfit. I looked in the mirror and said, "Yeah, I'd buy me a drink."

Nobody recognized me until I clued them in, or moved or spoke. It was fun.

Leigh · 05-05-2012, 07:20 PM

I just love how every butch is different; no matter how you identify or dress or how you are in general you are a human being and that to me above all else counts the most

aishah · 05-05-2012, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh

I just love how every butch is different; no matter how you identify or dress or how you are in general you are a human being and that to me above all else counts the most

this

i am also grateful for butch diversity. i love all the different ways you have of expressing yourself to the world. you are so handsome and sexy it just floors me. you are seen and loved and respected.

rustedrims · 05-05-2012, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aishah

this

i am also grateful for butch diversity. i love all the different ways you have of expressing yourself to the world. you are so handsome and sexy it just floors me. you are seen and loved and respected.

Sending a little Thank-You your way..
Us Butches are nothing without all you Femmes..

05-05-2012, 07:39 PM	#3
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 445 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,125 Thanked 2,555 Times in 368 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Hey Mr.Cynthia.. The kids are all in their early 20's and would never concider even asking if i was going to wear a dress for any reason..They know i am not going to..Why cant those other people let me be me..It is Levis and a ironed shirt or a Tux for the Grand Ball..Those are the choices..The kids get it.. Billy.. Yeah..Thinking back on those days i am sure i looked like i was in Drag..It will never happen again..If i am invited to share an important day in their lives what difference does it really make what i am wearing..Isnt it important that i show up and share the day with them..No to dresses and still am a Butch inside and out.. About a month ago i had a very important meeting i had to go to..Even still my mom pointed her finger in my face and gave me her opinion on what i should wear..Bascially dont dress like a Butch she was trying to say..Threw the dresses away many years ago so the Levis and a shirt..What i was wearing had no affect on the out come of that meeting..Hummm Really.??. __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

05-05-2012, 07:54 PM	#4
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 445 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,125 Thanked 2,555 Times in 368 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Leigh As i read in the Planet i see how we as Butches and Femmes have fallen into the ways of the people around us and do what they expect of us..At the time i think we go numb and "act out" what is expected of us in a straight world to fit in to their enviroment not to upset the apple cart..Ya know i think we are all tired of tip toeing around that apple cart not to knock it over..That cart needs to be kicked over to let everyone know that we are here and we arent going away anytime soon..Butch or Femme we are humans and do have feelings of acceptance and rejection.. __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

05-06-2012, 01:19 PM	#7
Morgan Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, hy, hym, does not matter Relationship Status: I am enjoying life.... Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Arizona Posts: 643 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,753 Thanked 1,604 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	These posts are great...I have enjoyed reading them. I went out last night and yes, I dressed to the hilt. I found a black "Jones Wear" dress at the second hand store, tags were still on it, a pair of black 3" pumps, black strapless bra, skimpy undies, black thigh hose, bangles, necklace, large hoop earrings and yes those are fake glue on nails. I had Starryeyes help me with the makeup and my hair and I went into San Diego and met up with some friends at an event. I managed to walk and stand for 3 hours last night, before I finally had enough and changed back into my real clothes....I admire the femmes for putting so much work into being femme. It was a lot of work to get myself out the door and park the car, catch the shuttle and head over to the event without guys oogling and staring at me. Walking up the long flight of stairs and not tripping was a hoot. Would I do it again...perhaps, for me being a butch is not on the outside, but on the inside. I am a woman first and it felt good to embrace the feminine side of myself, if only just for a night. I am sharing the link here. http://s206.photobucket.com/albums/b...gan%20picture/ __________________ “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” Robert Fritz Last edited by Morgan; 05-06-2012 at 01:34 PM.

05-06-2012, 06:32 AM	#6
Billy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Billy~ Preferred Pronoun?: Mr Princess ~ Relationship Status: Married April 20 2013 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Nashville TN Posts: 1,730 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,059 Thanked 3,871 Times in 1,053 Posts Rep Power: 20503085	I have enjoyed reading this thread ... I remember when I went to My first bash , It was confusing for Me ...I saw folks like Toughy and Mr C that where very masculine and yet folks would say she or her ..I caught Myself saying he or him , I did not understand all that at the time ..Its threads like this that really help folks understand how different we all are and it's ok I STILL have a hard time keeping up with ALL the ID's , but I do My best to not disrespect anyone ..

05-05-2012, 07:20 PM	#9
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I just love how every butch is different; no matter how you identify or dress or how you are in general you are a human being and that to me above all else counts the most