Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

imperfect_cupcake · 05-12-2012, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

you do recall how much I absolutely friggen adore you!!!

Imagine ( and I am sensing that you perhaps can now) how us butches feel, in that wondering.. "is she? isn't she?" .. smiles...

From what you have shared.. whether she is or isn't.. she IS interested. Does it really matter if she spikes a 9.2 on your geigercounter? I mean... really? The direction things are going with gender/ sexual ambiguity, it won't matter in 10 years... so.. be a trendsetter!

Have fun with what your heart/head/ loins are being led toward... You have nothing to lose, other than.. opportunity.

oh yes, it completely corsse dmy mind this is how butches feel. which is why when one bothers to flirt with me, I give "FULL STEAM AHEAD SAILOR" type signals. And also why I do things like hold eye contact, grin like an asshole and wink while showing as much boob as is possible without my nipples leaping out. So far that's been enough. Though I am very much often the one asking them out. So. as much sympathy as I've got... I've always been a clean reading!

ner.

well I can't do much, she's my instructor for the next 10 months on my master's level remedial massage. And I can't screw it up by attempting to get doinked by my instructor. But it's a nice crush to keep me interested in the school when it gets hard. And fabulous to ask her for "tutorials" when I need "extra help"

I wish my personality didn't smash on the ground in front of her. ugh.

deedarino: ok... why? give me some solid reasoning!

Jess · 05-12-2012, 02:40 PM

awwwwwwwwwww..... even more endeared.... smiles... hang in there lady!

Julien · 05-12-2012, 03:15 PM

[QUOTE=honeybarbara;583709]

well I can't do much, she's my instructor for the next 10 months on my master's level remedial massage. And I can't screw it up by attempting to get doinked by my instructor. But it's a nice crush to keep me interested in the school when it gets hard. And fabulous to ask her for "tutorials" when I need "extra help"

When you wrote that she was you instructor, I paused for a moment because it brought back some memories for me. Red flags went up. While in my PhD program I had an Professor flirt, touch me and even kissed me once. It was not something I wanted from her, she was my Professor and had control over grades and possibly pull with my committee. Since it was something I did not want and did not cultivate other than being an nice, honest, out trans person. I felt she took advantage of her position as faculty in my department. The situation did not go well and others got involved.
I guess all I am saying is wait for your 10 months to be over. If she is truly interested in you she will wait as you seem to be willing to do. (she doesn't have a say in your program of study does she? that could be a major problem) I know that relationships to occur between faculty and students. I just wanted to let you know of a story that may be different from yours, but the power inequality is still the same, Professor and student. The student has more to lose than the Professor especially if the Professor is tenured. Take this for what it is only a cautionary tale, and good luck with the Master's program.

genghisfawn · 05-12-2012, 04:03 PM

I concur with Deedarino... GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I also concur with Julien... get to know her and develop some sort of rapport beyond the sexual tension. If you're pals-ish in the next while, maybe drop a hint in a few months? If it lasts the next 10 months, good luck to you.

imperfect_cupcake · 05-12-2012, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genghisfawn

I concur with Deedarino... GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? what bit looks gay?? help me deveolp gaydar!

macele · 05-12-2012, 06:19 PM

how does she know you are a lesbian? you could find out if she is the same way she found out you are.

this is the perfect time for that universal code word. i haven't come up with one yet LOL.

from what you have told, she does sound rather butch. but the biggest thing i sense is an over active ego.

when she talks about picking up her bike. when she talks about not getting on the couch. sure seems like a butch lesbian to me.

if the timing were right, you could say, "hey, i'm all up in the kool-aid and i don't even know the flavor." wink, flirt like she does.

Gemme · 05-12-2012, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

No worries J, I'm 42. It's oxford. I've been through uni before with a crush on one of my profs.

if she did snog me, it wouldn't be unwanted. However I think both of us are old enough to know much better and I know all about power imbalances. She does not mark my papers or my exams. she is the clinical hours assessor and the clinical trainer. I know what she has the power to do (or undo).

I'm not looking for someone to be "truly interested in me" who has only known me a few weeks. I obviously don't have a bloody clue who she is - so it's just lust.

I do appreciate the warning, love. Sincerely. it's nice that you are concerned.

But like I said - I'm not going to risk an education I've taken a massive loan out for at the top Remedial Massage school in the country that I busted my ass to qualify for to toss it on a shag with a hottie - after all, more than likely it wouldn't last and then I'd still have to face her at assessments and clinical training. fun. not.

but I still don't know if she is *actually* gay. That's the question!

what do you think? is she??? isn't she??? why??? why not???

anyone can play... cmon I wanna hear some reasons! or hey ask me questions you would need to know the answer to in order to answer it, like "does she listen to bad women's indie rock" or "does she own a cat" or some such nonsense.

She did tell me that I was naughty and my nail polish had to go. and gave me a stern look. yum.

Who cares? She's got her eye on you, it seems.

For the record, my vote is 'gay/queer/etc' as well as being a Top.

I'm not going to tell you my reasoning, though it is superb, I promise.

blush · 05-12-2012, 07:06 PM

Why not just ask her?

imperfect_cupcake · 05-12-2012, 04:14 PM

No worries J, I'm 42. It's oxford. I've been through uni before with a crush on one of my profs.

if she did snog me, it wouldn't be unwanted. However I think both of us are old enough to know much better and I know all about power imbalances. She does not mark my papers or my exams. she is the clinical hours assessor and the clinical trainer. I know what she has the power to do (or undo).

I'm not looking for someone to be "truly interested in me" who has only known me a few weeks. I obviously don't have a bloody clue who she is - so it's just lust.

I do appreciate the warning, love. Sincerely. it's nice that you are concerned.

But like I said - I'm not going to risk an education I've taken a massive loan out for at the top Remedial Massage school in the country that I busted my ass to qualify for to toss it on a shag with a hottie - after all, more than likely it wouldn't last and then I'd still have to face her at assessments and clinical training. fun. not.

but I still don't know if she is *actually* gay. That's the question!

what do you think? is she??? isn't she??? why??? why not???

anyone can play... cmon I wanna hear some reasons! or hey ask me questions you would need to know the answer to in order to answer it, like "does she listen to bad women's indie rock" or "does she own a cat" or some such nonsense.

She did tell me that I was naughty and my nail polish had to go. and gave me a stern look. yum.

05-12-2012, 03:15 PM	#3
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	[QUOTE=honeybarbara;583709] well I can't do much, she's my instructor for the next 10 months on my master's level remedial massage. And I can't screw it up by attempting to get doinked by my instructor. But it's a nice crush to keep me interested in the school when it gets hard. And fabulous to ask her for "tutorials" when I need "extra help" When you wrote that she was you instructor, I paused for a moment because it brought back some memories for me. Red flags went up. While in my PhD program I had an Professor flirt, touch me and even kissed me once. It was not something I wanted from her, she was my Professor and had control over grades and possibly pull with my committee. Since it was something I did not want and did not cultivate other than being an nice, honest, out trans person. I felt she took advantage of her position as faculty in my department. The situation did not go well and others got involved. I guess all I am saying is wait for your 10 months to be over. If she is truly interested in you she will wait as you seem to be willing to do. (she doesn't have a say in your program of study does she? that could be a major problem) I know that relationships to occur between faculty and students. I just wanted to let you know of a story that may be different from yours, but the power inequality is still the same, Professor and student. The student has more to lose than the Professor especially if the Professor is tenured. Take this for what it is only a cautionary tale, and good luck with the Master's program. __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

05-12-2012, 07:06 PM	#8
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,375 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632317	Why not just ask her? __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

05-12-2012, 02:40 PM	#2
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,701 Times in 1,683 Posts Rep Power: 0	awwwwwwwwwww..... even more endeared.... smiles... hang in there lady!

05-12-2012, 04:03 PM	#4
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I concur with Deedarino... GAAAAAAAAAAAAY. I also concur with Julien... get to know her and develop some sort of rapport beyond the sexual tension. If you're pals-ish in the next while, maybe drop a hint in a few months? If it lasts the next 10 months, good luck to you.

05-12-2012, 06:19 PM	#6
macele Member How Do You Identify?: a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: mississippi Posts: 1,066 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,231 Times in 847 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	how does she know you are a lesbian? you could find out if she is the same way she found out you are. this is the perfect time for that universal code word. i haven't come up with one yet LOL. from what you have told, she does sound rather butch. but the biggest thing i sense is an over active ego. when she talks about picking up her bike. when she talks about not getting on the couch. sure seems like a butch lesbian to me. if the timing were right, you could say, "hey, i'm all up in the kool-aid and i don't even know the flavor." wink, flirt like she does.

05-12-2012, 04:14 PM	#9
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,713 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	No worries J, I'm 42. It's oxford. I've been through uni before with a crush on one of my profs. if she did snog me, it wouldn't be unwanted. However I think both of us are old enough to know much better and I know all about power imbalances. She does not mark my papers or my exams. she is the clinical hours assessor and the clinical trainer. I know what she has the power to do (or undo). I'm not looking for someone to be "truly interested in me" who has only known me a few weeks. I obviously don't have a bloody clue who she is - so it's just lust. I do appreciate the warning, love. Sincerely. it's nice that you are concerned. But like I said - I'm not going to risk an education I've taken a massive loan out for at the top Remedial Massage school in the country that I busted my ass to qualify for to toss it on a shag with a hottie - after all, more than likely it wouldn't last and then I'd still have to face her at assessments and clinical training. fun. not. but I still don't know if she is actually gay. That's the question! what do you think? is she??? isn't she??? why??? why not??? anyone can play... cmon I wanna hear some reasons! or hey ask me questions you would need to know the answer to in order to answer it, like "does she listen to bad women's indie rock" or "does she own a cat" or some such nonsense. She did tell me that I was naughty and my nail polish had to go. and gave me a stern look. yum.