For those for whom Mother's Day is not a Good Day

nycfem · 05-13-2012, 08:35 PM

Mother's Day today was not an easy one.
Family dysfunction and blow-ups.
I held my fragile 97-year-old grandmother's hand, as she shook and tears ran down her face. Her daughter, my aunt, yelled and read from a paper all of my grandmother's failings. My aunt J refused to return all that she's stolen from my grandmother's now nearly empty apartment. My uncle D yelled at me. When my aunt and her family left in a rage, we went inside and had tea and cake. Said my brother, "This all feels so bizarre." Yet he made me a nice cup of Chamomile tea, and I sipped it until it was time to leave.

aishah · 05-13-2012, 08:42 PM

i've been working all day because i am really stressed about money this week and i have to make a certain amount by tuesday and i'm afraid i'm not going to make it :\ i did call my sister and my friend's mom. my sister gave me a pep talk and i left a 'happy mother's day' message on my friend's mom's voicemail. i've been sad and stressed but...it's okay. i'm still here. tomorrow's another day.

NJFemmie · 05-13-2012, 08:59 PM

Mother's Day isn't as bad as it used to be for me. I lost my mom when I was 14, and the years that followed were pretty rough until I got older - and it got better ...

Each year I just light a candle, send a prayer and move on with my day ...

Kätzchen · 05-11-2025, 07:52 PM

Thank you Ruthie for your thread.

I’m a mother; and my own mother, as nice and sincere as she once could be, used to be a big part of my life until I learned how she betrayed us at our own expense. I still experience fallout each Mother’s Day. 💔

Mother’s Day can be such a cruel holiday.

Thanks Ruthie for a place to come sit and breathe during stressful days like today.

GeorgiaMa'am · 05-11-2025, 09:36 PM

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. This is the second Mother's Day of my life that we can't be together. I miss you so much.

Remember how Mother's Day used to be our day, alone? My birthday only a few days away, or occasionally the same day. No dad, no sister, just you and me, the only day of the year that was just ours. We would do things together like bake, or when you were younger we would go to the plant nursery and plant things in my yard. Several years we went to the Botanical Gardens; remember the year we took a class on native plants? Sometimes we substituted Saturday for Sunday so we could do fun things like take a class or sightsee. Once we took the whole weekend and went to Callaway Gardens. We both loved the butterfly house. We stayed in a cabin, and you got suspicious when I let you beat me at Scrabble.

This year, I baked an apple walnut cake and thought of all the delicious things we made together in that Bundt pan. It turned out pretty well, but it was a lot of work. There were lots of apples to peel and chop, and stirring the thick batter was like stirring peanut butter. I twisted my wrist and bent an industrial stainless steel spoon stirring it; sorry about your spoon. I got that recipe from the New York Times. Don't think I'll be making that one again.

I love you. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whether or not you're a mother now. I will always remember you.

Gráinne · 05-11-2025, 10:45 PM

Definitely not my favorite holiday. Working in the store, it's all flowers and cards and "Happy Mother's Day" to me until I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than go on.
My mother died a week before Mother's Day 1996. One of my children is passed, another is in shaky health and maybe worse, becoming more disabled. I know it's irrational but I had three, and while I know one is thriving (and called his mother), I couldn't help the other two. I love my children beyond distraction but TBH if I'd known what could happen, I'm not sure I'd have done it.

Bèsame* · 05-13-2025, 05:19 PM

Well ..it definitely was a trying day. First Mother's Day without her. I stayed away from the stores, that's for sure.

I remember we had pedicures last year and I got one on Saturday night. It was very sad, looking over at the empty chair. Sunday morning, I went and got an apple fritter, our favorite donut. I had coffee in a china coffee cup I had given her one year.

The rest of the day, was just memories of Mom.

I miss you so....💝💝

05-13-2012, 08:59 PM	#3
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,977 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Mother's Day isn't as bad as it used to be for me. I lost my mom when I was 14, and the years that followed were pretty rough until I got older - and it got better ... Each year I just light a candle, send a prayer and move on with my day ... __________________

05-11-2025, 07:52 PM	#4
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Involved with someone special in my hometown Join Date: May 2010 Location: In a small community Posts: 16,287 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,211 Thanked 33,647 Times in 10,736 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Thank you Ruthie for your thread. I’m a mother; and my own mother, as nice and sincere as she once could be, used to be a big part of my life until I learned how she betrayed us at our own expense. I still experience fallout each Mother’s Day. 💔 Mother’s Day can be such a cruel holiday. Thanks Ruthie for a place to come sit and breathe during stressful days like today. __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” — Jillian Turecki. ”Without justice, democracy dies,” — Jess Michaels (Epstein survivor). ”The planet can provide for human need, but not human greed,” — Dr Jane Goodall. ”The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.” — Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982).

05-11-2025, 09:36 PM	#5
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,461 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,740 Thanked 28,513 Times in 5,831 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Happy Mother's Day, Mama. This is the second Mother's Day of my life that we can't be together. I miss you so much. Remember how Mother's Day used to be our day, alone? My birthday only a few days away, or occasionally the same day. No dad, no sister, just you and me, the only day of the year that was just ours. We would do things together like bake, or when you were younger we would go to the plant nursery and plant things in my yard. Several years we went to the Botanical Gardens; remember the year we took a class on native plants? Sometimes we substituted Saturday for Sunday so we could do fun things like take a class or sightsee. Once we took the whole weekend and went to Callaway Gardens. We both loved the butterfly house. We stayed in a cabin, and you got suspicious when I let you beat me at Scrabble. This year, I baked an apple walnut cake and thought of all the delicious things we made together in that Bundt pan. It turned out pretty well, but it was a lot of work. There were lots of apples to peel and chop, and stirring the thick batter was like stirring peanut butter. I twisted my wrist and bent an industrial stainless steel spoon stirring it; sorry about your spoon. I got that recipe from the New York Times. Don't think I'll be making that one again. I love you. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whether or not you're a mother now. I will always remember you. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

05-11-2025, 10:45 PM	#6
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,866 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,119 Thanked 7,392 Times in 1,459 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Definitely not my favorite holiday. Working in the store, it's all flowers and cards and "Happy Mother's Day" to me until I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than go on. My mother died a week before Mother's Day 1996. One of my children is passed, another is in shaky health and maybe worse, becoming more disabled. I know it's irrational but I had three, and while I know one is thriving (and called his mother), I couldn't help the other two. I love my children beyond distraction but TBH if I'd known what could happen, I'm not sure I'd have done it. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

05-13-2025, 05:19 PM	#7
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,439 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,189 Thanked 41,040 Times in 10,780 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Well ..it definitely was a trying day. First Mother's Day without her. I stayed away from the stores, that's for sure. I remember we had pedicures last year and I got one on Saturday night. It was very sad, looking over at the empty chair. Sunday morning, I went and got an apple fritter, our favorite donut. I had coffee in a china coffee cup I had given her one year. The rest of the day, was just memories of Mom. I miss you so....💝💝 __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

05-13-2012, 08:35 PM	#1
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,795 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,990 Thanked 21,401 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Mother's Day today was not an easy one. Family dysfunction and blow-ups. I held my fragile 97-year-old grandmother's hand, as she shook and tears ran down her face. Her daughter, my aunt, yelled and read from a paper all of my grandmother's failings. My aunt J refused to return all that she's stolen from my grandmother's now nearly empty apartment. My uncle D yelled at me. When my aunt and her family left in a rage, we went inside and had tea and cake. Said my brother, "This all feels so bizarre." Yet he made me a nice cup of Chamomile tea, and I sipped it until it was time to leave.

05-13-2012, 08:42 PM	#2
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,439 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	i've been working all day because i am really stressed about money this week and i have to make a certain amount by tuesday and i'm afraid i'm not going to make it :\ i did call my sister and my friend's mom. my sister gave me a pep talk and i left a 'happy mother's day' message on my friend's mom's voicemail. i've been sad and stressed but...it's okay. i'm still here. tomorrow's another day.