Lounge for Deaf people and their allies

[WolfyOne]

I saw this last night, but the storms kept me from posting because I wanted to shut down my computer.

Jennifer, it was nice of you to start this thread. You are one of those people that knows I have hearing loss and have always been good about repeating yourself without a problem, if I didn't catch all you said when we get to hang out at the reunions.

Someday, I'll be able to afford at least one hearing aid or will eventually live in a state that does require insurance to cover them. Did any of you know that only 4 states make the insurance companies cover hearing aids? How sad it is when you have insurance and know you can't use it for something as important as hearing. I know there are places that can help a person get a hearing aid, but you still have to pay something out of pocket and right now, for me, it's not doable.

Anyhow, I'll be following this thread because I think it's important to those of us that are either deaf or have hearing loss.

[Rockinonahigh]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

I saw this last night, but the storms kept me from posting because I wanted to shut down my computer.

Jennifer, it was nice of you to start this thread. You are one of those people that knows I have hearing loss and have always been good about repeating yourself without a problem, if I didn't catch all you said when we get to hang out at the reunions.

Someday, I'll be able to afford at least one hearing aid or will eventually live in a state that does require insurance to cover them. Did any of you know that only 4 states make the insurance companies cover hearing aids? How sad it is when you have insurance and know you can't use it for something as important as hearing. I know there are places that can help a person get a hearing aid, but you still have to pay something out of pocket and right now, for me, it's not doable.

Anyhow, I'll be following this thread because I think it's important to those of us that are either deaf or have hearing loss.

Wolfy,find a deaf action center they will do exams free then put you on a free hearing aid list,then you should qulify for a teletalker phone for the deaf,I have one and its really good as you can ajust the vollum to suit yourself.Warning if they talk you into a doorbbell system the tone will drive you nuts,I disabled mine because of the light that blinked all over the house and tone was awful.

[starryeyes]

What state do you live in? I can find out what resources are available if you want.

Smiles

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

I saw this last night, but the storms kept me from posting because I wanted to shut down my computer.

Jennifer, it was nice of you to start this thread. You are one of those people that knows I have hearing loss and have always been good about repeating yourself without a problem, if I didn't catch all you said when we get to hang out at the reunions.

Someday, I'll be able to afford at least one hearing aid or will eventually live in a state that does require insurance to cover them. Did any of you know that only 4 states make the insurance companies cover hearing aids? How sad it is when you have insurance and know you can't use it for something as important as hearing. I know there are places that can help a person get a hearing aid, but you still have to pay something out of pocket and right now, for me, it's not doable.

Anyhow, I'll be following this thread because I think it's important to those of us that are either deaf or have hearing loss.

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Wolfy,find a deaf action center they will do exams free then put you on a free hearing aid list,then you should qulify for a teletalker phone for the deaf,I have one and its really good as you can ajust the vollum to suit yourself.Warning if they talk you into a doorbbell system the tone will drive you nuts,I disabled mine because of the light that blinked all over the house and tone was awful.

Originally Posted by starryeyes

What state do you live in? I can find out what resources are available if you want.

Smiles

Rockin, my ex bought me a bell with a light and ringer...so, no one can talk me into a doorbell system, lol.
Since almost everything I do is in my bedroom, it's plugged in and hanging on my wall there.

Starry, I live in Oklahoma and if you could it would be great.
My problem, is setting an appointment and being able to hear them on the phone.
Most everything I do involves some form of typing..ie, text, email, IM, PM and old fashioned snail mail.
I talk to a few people via phone, but they are friends or family and speak loud, slow and clear for me.

[starryeyes]

Wolfy- check out this link.

http://www.ok.gov/abletech/Resources...f-Hearing.html

All of these places should be equipped with email or text. Also, check out the VCO teletype phones. You can use your own voice to speak on the phone, but an operator will type everything out for you on a readable screen so don't have To depend on just listening.

Also, check out your states DOR (department of rehabilitation) center. A VR counselor can get your free hearing aids, help with assistive technology and other things.


Good luck and let me know if you need anything else.

[aishah]

my dad was hard of hearing and many of my friends are deaf or hoh. i also get to spend a lot of time around deaf & hoh folks through my cross-disability work i would like to learn to be a better ally, and i want to learn asl. i've gotten better about asking people what works best for them and making sure to look directly at people when speaking so they can read my lips, etc. but i still feel like i have a lot of learning to do to be a good ally to folks with different disabilities than my own.

it has been a blessing (and a wonderful learning experience) to read everyone's posts about your experiences. thank you

[The JD]

I’ve been hard of hearing all my life. I wear hearing aids, but they by no means bring my hearing up to “normal.” I don’t know ASL- I’m from a hard of hearing family, and the attitude was to hide it when we could, and downplay it when we couldn’t hide it. Now, I guess my rationale for not learning sign is that I don’t have enough face-to-face contact with signers to make it a priority… but if I knew ASL, I’d seek out Deaf organizations and events. That’s what’s called “circular logic,” I think.

I spent my 20s playing bass guitar in bands and hanging out in rock clubs. Punk rock culture is the great hearing equalizer, I’ve found. In the loud punk clubs, my (hearing) friends and I made sure we had each other’s attention before we spoke, and that we could see each others’ faces. We expected to repeat everything we said. We rearranged bar stools when the flow of conversation changed. We knew how far our voices could be heard (not far at ALL) and supplemented our conversation with gestures. I didn’t need to remind people of the accommodations I needed, because they needed the same accommodations. It’s the only time in my life I felt I fit seamlessly into the hearing world.

I was glad to see several people mention how tiring it is to try to follow a conversation that is just out of one’s hearing range. I experience that too, but I think I end up coming off as bored or rude (I’m the one in a group who starts playing a game on my cell phone when I need a hearing break, because it’s just as tiring to ACT like I’m listening). I get impatient with certain styles of communication, like stories that have no discernible point, and long-winded people who want an "audience" and not a "dialogue". I feel if I'm making the extra effort to understand, they should make the extra effort to be interesting...but I know the world doesn't actually work this way...lol.

I usually have no problems one-on-one, or even when talking to two people…but once I start having to turn my head to the next speaker in a group, I start missing stuff. And in a spirited group discussion, forget it. The interruptions and one-liners are finished before I can visually locate the speaker. So imagine my surprise when I discovered chat rooms 20 years ago on AOL, and found I could follow half a dozen simultaneous conversations with ease. It’s why I’m often found in the chat room on this site, because it’s the only place I can understand 15 people talking at once. And just as in a face-to-face group conversation, a lot of the chatter isn’t worth paying attention to…but at least it doesn’t tire me out when I choose to do so.

[Viola]

Maybe why I"m so outgoing online and I kept saying to myself, "who's this person..." meaning me...

You were saying about chat online and able to understand 15 people talking at once...

However sad to say, I'd found me aggressive at times online when normally when not online I'm so quiet and passive.

Is it that I'm finding a voice and yet I don't know how yet to be polite and assertive?

As you say you play bass guitar, I learn to play guitar to help me learn to speak through singing, not that I'm a singer, but this help me so I can speak better.

I still have an accent through.

I'd given up for now about learning sign, at one time I learn sign, but something happen that I left the deaf community, its kind of difficult to explain why.

That's the other thing I find a challenge is explaining myself when I don't even have the words myself to explain.

Actually for the longest time I didn't feel accepted by the hearing or the deaf, but this online is a break through for me.

like what you were saying... However our situation isn't the same, my hearing I gain so well, that I'm overly stimulated, where I have actual melt downs from sounds around me. I'm frighten...

Also I'm not doing very well with conversations, in able to have a verbal conversation, I lost contact with my nephews over this, they're to ashame to be around me, I embarrass them.

What I wish is I never ever hurt peoples feelings and never offend people and people always sees me as kind and nice and polite, and or at least me trying my best and give me chances or give me examples how to be when communicating.

I'm treated best to be quiet and yet be around.

no one wants me to verbally talk, I'm afraid of my nephews actually. I'm so shy, to be around my sister's family. So I hadn't seen them in years, due to being to shy to be around them as they're so good at socializing verbally.

Originally Posted by The JD

I’ve been hard of hearing all my life. I wear hearing aids, but they by no means bring my hearing up to “normal.” I don’t know ASL- I’m from a hard of hearing family, and the attitude was to hide it when we could, and downplay it when we couldn’t hide it. Now, I guess my rationale for not learning sign is that I don’t have enough face-to-face contact with signers to make it a priority… but if I knew ASL, I’d seek out Deaf organizations and events. That’s what’s called “circular logic,” I think.

I spent my 20s playing bass guitar in bands and hanging out in rock clubs. Punk rock culture is the great hearing equalizer, I’ve found. In the loud punk clubs, my (hearing) friends and I made sure we had each other’s attention before we spoke, and that we could see each others’ faces. We expected to repeat everything we said. We rearranged bar stools when the flow of conversation changed. We knew how far our voices could be heard (not far at ALL) and supplemented our conversation with gestures. I didn’t need to remind people of the accommodations I needed, because they needed the same accommodations. It’s the only time in my life I felt I fit seamlessly into the hearing world.

I was glad to see several people mention how tiring it is to try to follow a conversation that is just out of one’s hearing range. I experience that too, but I think I end up coming off as bored or rude (I’m the one in a group who starts playing a game on my cell phone when I need a hearing break, because it’s just as tiring to ACT like I’m listening). I get impatient with certain styles of communication, like stories that have no discernible point, and long-winded people who want an "audience" and not a "dialogue". I feel if I'm making the extra effort to understand, they should make the extra effort to be interesting...but I know the world doesn't actually work this way...lol.

I usually have no problems one-on-one, or even when talking to two people…but once I start having to turn my head to the next speaker in a group, I start missing stuff. And in a spirited group discussion, forget it. The interruptions and one-liners are finished before I can visually locate the speaker. So imagine my surprise when I discovered chat rooms 20 years ago on AOL, and found I could follow half a dozen simultaneous conversations with ease. It’s why I’m often found in the chat room on this site, because it’s the only place I can understand 15 people talking at once. And just as in a face-to-face group conversation, a lot of the chatter isn’t worth paying attention to…but at least it doesn’t tire me out when I choose to do so.

[Viola]

Hi aishah

I've find youtube really helpful. Able to meet others...

When I was hard of hearing I was the only one in my family who was., I think in a way this delay what I need when I gain hearing, as I felt no one knew or any guide for me in a way. I had to figure it out on my own in a way.

do you ever find this where anyone with challenges if not around others with simular challenges then are delay in growth, due to not having a mentor or guide who's been there...

Did your dad know of others who were hard of hearing when being hard of hearing, when you were growing up? I really didn't know any hard of hearing or deaf, when I was hard of hearing...

Originally Posted by aishah

my dad was hard of hearing and many of my friends are deaf or hoh. i also get to spend a lot of time around deaf & hoh folks through my cross-disability work i would like to learn to be a better ally, and i want to learn asl. i've gotten better about asking people what works best for them and making sure to look directly at people when speaking so they can read my lips, etc. but i still feel like i have a lot of learning to do to be a good ally to folks with different disabilities than my own.

it has been a blessing (and a wonderful learning experience) to read everyone's posts about your experiences. thank you

[The JD]

Originally Posted by Viola

Hi aishah

When I was hard of hearing I was the only one in my family who was., I think in a way this delay what I need when I gain hearing, as I felt no one knew or any guide for me in a way. I had to figure it out on my own in a way.

do you ever find this where anyone with challenges if not around others with simular challenges then are delay in growth, due to not having a mentor or guide who's been there...

Did your dad know of others who were hard of hearing when being hard of hearing, when you were growing up? I really didn't know any hard of hearing or deaf, when I was hard of hearing...

I know this was addressed to aishah, but I’ve thought a lot about this topic. I was raised in a hard of hearing (hoh) family- we openly acknowledged we were hoh to one another, but looking back, it seems most of the mentoring I got went in to how to pass as hearing, and not into utilizing available resources. There were no trips to the audiologist, no ASL classes, no hearing aids… but there was a year of speech therapy in 5th grade to get rid of the deaf accent I was developing (not that anyone called it that- it took me years to realize why I was sent!).

Deaf people may seek out other Deaf people, but the hoh don’t usually seek out the hoh. Being in that grey area between fully hearing and deaf creates its own isolation, I think- there’s a pull to choose a side, and in my family’s case, they chose to present as fully hearing. Heck, even the language that describes my hearing indicates how uncomfortable the in-between place is: hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing challenged… or if you want to go back 600 years, Chaucer described the Wife of Bath as “somdeel deef” (somewhat deaf). All are clunky comparative phrases, while the deaf and the hearing get their own stand-alone words. (My own preference is for the phrase hard of hearing, which sounds far less clinical than hearing-impaired, and besides, Shakespeare used it ☺ )

I wrote an essay about growing up hoh, and how I live in this poorly named (both literally and figuratively) grey space between hearing and deafness. The essay is called “Hardly Heard”, and is in a recently published anthology called Deaf American Prose (Gallaudet Deaf Literature Series, Vol. 1). I’ve mentioned this on another thread, and at the risk of being redundant (or self-promoting), it really is a good anthology.