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06-30-2012, 08:25 AM
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#521 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: .
Posts: 5,530
Thanks: 4,478
Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857   |
Yesterday - Watching the cotton candy at Golden Corral as it quickly collapsed and melted from the heat and humidity in the restaurant...
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07-13-2012, 10:12 PM
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#522 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
tonight out to dinner...
You just HAD to be there!!
Words on this screen will NOT do tonight's ROFLMAO, BUST-A-GUT, PEE-YOUR-PANTS-LAUGHING-SO-HARD, HOLDING-YOUR-RIBS, CRACKING-UP, FAMILY-BONDING, FUNNY SHIT any justice! But I'll try to give you a vision of what happened in short story... At a Chinese Buffet Restaurant: Me sitting at one side of table Anonymous Brother (that I haven't seen in a few months) sitting beside me Anonymous Friend (to save them additional embarrassment) sitting on other side of table from Brother... Discussion ensues about Brother's new teeth and how they don't fit... I lean over, put my arm around Brother and say "I'm sorry, when I first saw you after surgery, I thought you looked like Mr. Ed! "... Just as Friend took a drink of their ice water... Brother says "I KNOW, I look like Mr. Ed and that's what I told the Dentist!!!!" Friend BUSTED OUT, spewing water out all over the table and up their nose!! Friend grabs napkins to hide their face just in time for me to see water drops on their nose!! HOLY FREEKIN HANNAH!!! WE LAUGHED SO HARD!!! Then Brother says "I told Dentist I looked like Mr. Ed...*him stomping foot on floor like a horse*..."then I told her I look like something out of Planet of the Apes!! *him swinging his arms like a Gorilla* !!! HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! BUST MY RIBS LAUGHING!! Friend nearly tipped the table laughing so hard!! Everyone in restaurant looking at us like we're NUTTS!! Neither one of us have laughed that hard in a long time!! If my Brother was a stand-up comedian... I'd make him share his fortune!! And it was him mocking a horse and gorilla that really got me!! |
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07-13-2012, 11:15 PM
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#523 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 |
no need for explanation
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait  .........Hope you enjoy it!________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work  Click on flashing smilie to see my websiteTo look at my Daddy/girl erotica book  Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
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07-14-2012, 06:07 AM
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#524 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Let me add to the post above that no animals or humans were harmed in the making of all that outrageously funny bust-a-gut time last evening .... but I think we did scare the poor, very young waitress who spoke very limited English ... she was scared to step near us at times ...
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07-17-2012, 03:30 PM
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#525 |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
butch stone Preferred Pronoun?:
masculine ones work best... Relationship Status:
♥ engaged to spritz ♥ 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: bangor, maine
Posts: 3,344
Thanks: 20,720
Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
What cracked me up...
Coming to the realization that I am a prime suspect of the Pavlov's Dogs experiment of classical conditioning... Every time I hear her ringtone with the little bird chirp sound, I get... ummmm... I smile BIG!! So I tell her this right?? She says we need "a bird clock that goes off every hour." Somehow she turned this around to where I would be performing on command every hour on the hour! It's a win-win situation for the both of us I do believe!! Ahahahahaaaaaaa 
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07-21-2012, 02:02 PM
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#526 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy  Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
kids still say the darnest things....
From Colin Powell's book...."It worked for me": I have always tried to keep my life in perspective with my ego under control. That effort has been helped enormously by a wife and 3 kids who have never taken me too seriously and who have always held above me an imaginary oxygen mask ready to drop down whenever I needed a whiff of reality. The first time I arrived home looking sharp in the new battle dress camouflage fatigues the Army adopted in the 1980's, my daughter, then about 12, merely looked up from watching tv and announced, "Mom, the GI Joe doll is home."
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07-21-2012, 02:04 PM
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#527 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 |
I watched but did not listen to this, please bear that in mind
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my websiteTo look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
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07-21-2012, 05:35 PM
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#528 |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
butch stone Preferred Pronoun?:
masculine ones work best... Relationship Status:
♥ engaged to spritz ♥
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: bangor, maine
Posts: 3,344
Thanks: 20,720
Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
What cracked me up...??
Getting a text from my daughter telling me of my grandson's latest moment... "Lol I had Julian help me make pigs in a blanket and he kissed them and wrapped them all gently in their blankets before rocking and singing to them. Then I put some on his plate and he refuses to eat the baby piggies." Ahahahaaaaaa I love my little Juji
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07-22-2012, 11:07 AM
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#529 |
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PPoA - Southern Gentle Butch
How Do You Identify?:
BOI/Butch/Daddy Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, he, him, handsome, Daddy Relationship Status:
Single. 😉 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: GA
Posts: 2,398
Thanks: 14,071
Thanked 10,845 Times in 2,247 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853  |
....A funny card I got from a special friend!
__________________
BK  "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." Randy Pausch.
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07-23-2012, 06:50 AM
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#530 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
Jagg's anti-feline posts!
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07-23-2012, 12:22 PM
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#531 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Happy, Crazy, Bubbly, Funny, Strong, Outgoing, Friendly Preferred Pronoun?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Complicated 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 200
Thanks: 920
Thanked 594 Times in 154 Posts
Rep Power: 3787185 |
I was woken up Saturday morning to our hound dog barking in the back yard. Yes that does piss a person off being woken up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning when you DON’T have to go to work. Then I hear my kid out there yelling at the dog to come to him. He yells and yells and you can almost hear the laugh of the dog at him. I finally got out of bed and was ready not to yell at the dog but the kid for putting the dog out there instead of putting it on the lead to do its morning business. I walk over to him frantic knowing that my look goes beyond “looks could kill!” I told him to move over stood in my nighty not caring what stupid neighbor saw and proceeded to look at the dog. I guess looks could kill because the dog took one look at my face and before I could even get out “Get in the house!” It was running to me tail wagging and went right inside the house. My son is scratching his head looking at the dog and me and says I don’t get it. “This dog has been through two obedience classes with him.” I looked at my son with the dumb look on his face and said “It is not the dog that needs those dang classes is it now?” He looked at me and shook his head and I just started laughing so hard. Maybe it was being still half asleep who knows but only mom can do what the kids can’t!
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07-23-2012, 10:30 PM
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#532 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
I got a message today that read....."I think he focuses mainly on pig futures." Scratched my head trying to figure out what that meant. Hours later, it occurred to me it was related to the news story about "Kermit the frog dropping Chick-fil-A." Kermit, Miss Piggy.....It was brilliant! And, I am giving new meaning to "slow" today. LOL.
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07-24-2012, 12:36 AM
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#533 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 |
It is the middle of the night and I am on bat-watch..........there is nothing funny about that.....until I realized: I don't know if I want it to start flying around so I can get it out of the house or stay hiding where it is so I don't have to do bat-battle .......okay, it's not that funny
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my websiteTo look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
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07-24-2012, 07:44 PM
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#534 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Jokes about "Adam and Eve...Bass Pro Shop... corsets and hiking boots!"...
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07-25-2012, 05:12 PM
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#535 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Down on the farm
Posts: 5,501
Thanks: 9,855
Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Mom's huge black critter...maybe a small bear...it was moving very slowly and it looked about this big......(_________). After I walk all threw the poison oak and around the building, in the brush I find a black cat....not "Baby" mind you but some random black cat.
Oddly enough she and I were just talking earlier about how well she thought she could still see, considering she has cateracts, which are scheduled to be removed Friday....Ummm yeah how big was that critter again? A small bear, here? Really? Ok I'll go check it out.
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Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it. |
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07-25-2012, 06:47 PM
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#536 |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
butch stone Preferred Pronoun?:
masculine ones work best... Relationship Status:
♥ engaged to spritz ♥
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: bangor, maine
Posts: 3,344
Thanks: 20,720
Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
What cracked me up today...
After 40 minutes or so into staff meeting... director: (looks at case manager) write this all down. case mng: you mean the part about the responsibility sheets? lesbian co-worker: (to case mng) what are you doing? case mng: he said to write it all down! lesbian co-worker: he said to write "lesbian" responsibilities? case mng: didn't he? director: i didn't but if it works yes. let's make the lesbians responsible! Me: well okay but only if you heterosexual males... (interupted) director: there you go... you hardly ever talk but when you do you always want to talk sexual! Geez! Me: that's what us lesbians do best! *smirk* director: this meeting is ajourned. it's gone to hell in a hand basket. case mng: am i still writing this? Ahahahaaaaa I love working there 
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07-26-2012, 08:04 PM
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#537 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Shopping with Blade ... we were only supposed to go to foodlion and to get Chinese food...
I promised him I wouldn't post the crack me up funny stuff that happened ... but dang! We can have some belly laughs sometimes! |
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07-26-2012, 10:12 PM
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#538 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 |
Okay, it's time for a bats of the night up date.....Tonight, a bat began flying through the house, I stayed calm. I changed into my dress, found the bat was now attacking my shell wreath, I picked it up in a towel.....it got away screaming......the bat, not me, I'm so proud, I closed doors until I got the bat out in the hall then opened the door to the porch and out went the bat. It took me max twenty minutes to preform this maneuver. I'm feeling good, a real bat wrangler........twenty minutes go by......there is a bat flying through the house......it's like deja vu with bats.......this time it took me five minutes, but I left the bat in the hall (was that bad?)
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my websiteTo look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
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07-26-2012, 10:34 PM
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#539 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?:
Bitch Relationship Status:
Intertwined deeply 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: We're all a little mad here.
Posts: 6,627
Thanks: 10,972
Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
She and I crack up every day, but there were so many "hold-your-tummy-while-doubled-over-laughing" moments today that her bladder just couldn't take it anymore...LMAO 
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07-26-2012, 10:39 PM
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#540 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
yes dear Preferred Pronoun?:
she Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: south florida
Posts: 2,494
Thanks: 3,264
Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
.gif "Say What?") thats just not right!!! |
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Linear Mode
