What attracts you to Ftms ......

Ginger · 08-04-2012, 04:36 PM

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

Tony · 08-04-2012, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

Island, you do not sound like a jerk & you should never apologize for your feelings. They are truly the only things we own outright that can NEVER be taken from us. I've read thru a lot of the threads & ran into something talking about White Male Privelage. I almost hesitate to voice my opinion here, but it is what it is. I have lived & been accepted as a man for over 30 years. I'm dark haired (Sicilian) & have a serious addiction to blondes. Lol. I never knew what this WMP was as I've lived as a straight man & been with straight women. I also feel no guilt at whatever WMP has afforded me thruout my life. But I have to say, you ending comments about other couples; I never gave that much thought & now I too hope that EVERY couple can enjoy that privelage. Being called a striking couple. Best seat in the house. Treated as all humans should be treated.
Thank you, Island for this response. You promoted a thought process I hadn't had. I appreciate that.

Quintease · 08-05-2012, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

Yes, I can relate. My husband and I look really good together, everyone comments on it. Everywhere we go we get smiles and compliments.

In the beginning I hated it. I felt like society was rewarding me for doing the right thing and dating a man.

Then a few things happened. I suddenly discovered how awful and insidious transphobia can be. I realised how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when people, who see you as a straight couple, let you in on their homophobia. I realise how scary and fragile living 'stealth' can be.

A bit of perspective reminded me that we are indeed still part of the wider queer society and nothing will ever take that away. Nothing except equality for all.

Leigh · 08-05-2012, 04:32 PM

I've dated 2 FTM's in my lifetime & they will always have a special place in my heart

sara-bera · 08-05-2012, 05:07 PM

I like their scent, their body language, their walk, the way they think, their individuality. I like the comfort they have in their skin; the comfort that comes of knowing exactly who and what one is because of the work they've done to get there. I like that they appreciate and encourage my girlishness. They are often protective and old fashioned -I like that a great deal. I like that they are inherently different from me - I like the balance that creates in a relationship.

Soft*Silver · 08-06-2012, 08:49 PM

amazing what a year or two will teach you.

I said I would never date a CIS male. And yet, i am involved with one. But, he is also one who is considering transitioning from male to female. But for now, stands male except when with me and my family and friends.

Of course I also said I would never date a femme and I know now I would. He has very femme enery, but is very masculine appearing.

And I said I would never be interested in poly and I would consider it now.

I quit trying to split hairs about gender and orientation. I take people as they want to be taken. I am who I am, as well.

I like what someone said about people resenting she continued to claim she is a lesbian even tho she is with an FTM. I am a lesbian even tho I am with chrissy. he considers himself bisexual.

in saying all this, I am still very attracted to FtMs.

Kent · 08-08-2012, 12:29 PM

Bumpin' this one again...

Leigh · 10-25-2012, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraffitiBoi

I can only speak for myself... but the change in my energy when I began transition was because I finally felt comfortable... I felt like I was finally me... I found my confidence.

Sadly, I let go of my confidence and my identity due to something we are not allowed to talk about in the forums... But regardless of the reason, I have found myself again and have my confidence and energy back.

When you begin to truly live as who you were always meant to be, that confidence and awareness of yourself really truly comes out & so does your confidence

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darbonaire

I'm very attracted to FTM's

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Wish you lived closer...<smile>....[/QUOTE]

I know I never seem to live close to anyone

08-05-2012, 04:32 PM	#4
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I've dated 2 FTM's in my lifetime & they will always have a special place in my heart __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

08-06-2012, 08:49 PM	#6
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,908 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	amazing what a year or two will teach you. I said I would never date a CIS male. And yet, i am involved with one. But, he is also one who is considering transitioning from male to female. But for now, stands male except when with me and my family and friends. Of course I also said I would never date a femme and I know now I would. He has very femme enery, but is very masculine appearing. And I said I would never be interested in poly and I would consider it now. I quit trying to split hairs about gender and orientation. I take people as they want to be taken. I am who I am, as well. I like what someone said about people resenting she continued to claim she is a lesbian even tho she is with an FTM. I am a lesbian even tho I am with chrissy. he considers himself bisexual. in saying all this, I am still very attracted to FtMs. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

08-08-2012, 12:29 PM	#7
Kent Member How Do You Identify?: Male Relationship Status: Single Tournaments Won: 2 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: TX Posts: 1,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,564 Thanked 2,058 Times in 720 Posts Rep Power: 19241326	Ok Ladies.. Let us hear from you.. Bumpin' this one again... __________________ Kent

08-04-2012, 04:36 PM	#1
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,298 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable. It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then. I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together. Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life. I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars. We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple. Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated. It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

08-05-2012, 05:07 PM	#5
sara-bera Member How Do You Identify?: female Join Date: May 2011 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,161 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,687 Thanked 2,858 Times in 739 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I like their scent, their body language, their walk, the way they think, their individuality. I like the comfort they have in their skin; the comfort that comes of knowing exactly who and what one is because of the work they've done to get there. I like that they appreciate and encourage my girlishness. They are often protective and old fashioned -I like that a great deal. I like that they are inherently different from me - I like the balance that creates in a relationship.