Do you feel a responsibility to mentor younger LGBT?

aishah · 08-19-2012, 05:20 PM

i'm pretty much out about most things in my life and i hope that encourages others to be comfortable being who they are. i don't announce it (unless it's appropriate) but i don't hide things about myself if people ask.

i work with lgbtq and disabled youth and i try to be supportive. i see my role more as creating space for people to do what they want to do...with mutual mentoring. i learn as much from them as they do from me, and i'm not that much older. (i'm 24, which may or may not make me a "youth," depending on the context, hehe.) i also help different organizations learn how to be more inclusive of young people and integrate young people into leadership and decision making.

i think being "in" or "out" means different things to different people and it's important to respect each person's individual decisions about how/when they are "out." what is "out" to me is not necessarily always the best thing for someone else.

stephfromMIT · 08-19-2012, 06:08 PM

Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

spritzerJ · 08-19-2012, 06:23 PM

Living "out" is a challenge for me at work. I don't take the risk lightly at work (elementary school teacher). Yet I don't stop myself from just being me, including out, because sometimes what I am worried about is just my own internal issues. I feel a responsibility to hold a welcome space for people at work, home and in the community. I don't take lightly that I interact with others and they have feelings I may not see or know.

Interestingly enough, I find that I have the most impact to viability and acceptance when I am out as a parent. This came as a surprise to me. And I am glad.

Kobi · 08-19-2012, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

Ahhh ok. This gives a better idea of what "out" means to you.

What will you be teaching?

princessbelle · 08-19-2012, 06:59 PM

I feel it is important to do anything we can to help our youth. Especially with all of the suicides and bullying that our youth are facing.

In my day, most of us were in the closet, and we would have never dreamed of being "out".

Today, as adults and a changing (hopefully) society, we encourage our youth to be strong and speak out and be yourself. However this can be dangerous mentally and physically for some of them.

I truly would love to help in some way.

A while back, when we had the "wear purple" to support our gay youth day, I wore a purple shirt, pony tail holder and i tied a purple bandana around my wrist and went to the mall and just walked around. I felt sorta silly not knowing what to do or how to help someone.

I will never forget this group of early teenagers talking about 10 feet from me. I was looking at them thinking "does someone need help". I didn't know what to do and was alone without a vision of what i was actually doing.

There was a boy in that group that spotted me and walked around the entire group of teens and smiled big toward me and nodded. I KNOW he knew i was there to help if needed. I KNOW he appreciated that small offering of hope and love and acceptance.

It's something i'll never forget. It is also a feeling i want to have again.

Great thread.

stephfromMIT · 08-19-2012, 07:18 PM

Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

Tcountry · 08-19-2012, 08:28 PM

I am not sure u would call it mentoring as much as it is just being a presence as well as bring present.
Some of us don't have the ability to be out at work...without the fear of being fired from that job ...so freely answering "what did u do this weekend?" Might not be a considered option.
But...that being said...since it is not currently a fear(of mine).
I think that being a presence, especially in a small Midwestern town is warranted. To at least show that it IS ok & u are not alone...

Just my 2 cents tho
*tip hat*

jac · 08-20-2012, 05:10 AM

Absolutely! One of my biggest mantras is "Live by example."

When I was at the university and moving along through my degree, many of the courses I was taking opened the mind to this vary thing on many levels. Me being a non-traditional student and sitting side-by-side with kids my own children's age, I felt and do feel compelled to share my life, my struggles and my growth as a member of the community. I tend to be a story-teller and I was usually able to capture the attention of several in the course. Sometimes they would stop me in the hall or pass me later in the day and want to talk. I was a neutral, none-judgemental adult that they could use as a sounding board.

The further along I got with my coursework the more I knew I was doing the right thing since my goal was and still is to run an adolescent homeless shelter for the community someday. I did my internship at our local adolescent homeless shelter and actually got the position because I told the director from the beginning my intenetions. I was hired on after graduation and I am me, living and breathing and succeeding as a member of the community and as a professional.

Mentoring is needed... and I do believe it's my responsability... as a stone, a butch, a lesbian, a woman, a mother and anything else some young struggling someone is needing at the time to; hear them, see them and acknowledge them. That is, however, what I always wanted as a youth....

Kobi · 08-20-2012, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

Way cool. Physics fascinates me.

TWolf · 08-20-2012, 07:58 AM

I'm very fortunate in that my company makes diversity a priority, even providing spousal rights to domestic partners. The support I find there was a large part of my decision to transfer to our new facility in Mississippi.

Several months ago in talking to a new co-worker, I was asked if the picture on my desk were my family. Of course I proudly pointed out my son, my girlfriend, and her son in the photos. I was genuinely surprised when she then asked quietly.... "So.... is it really... OK?"

Through a series of conversations I came to realize that she and her girlfriend were incredulous when they read that portion of the company policy, to the point that she called with the classic "hypothetical" questions to the amusement of the HR rep. Their experiences had led them to feel that this must be some kind of mis-print or a policy that surely was just given lip service and not adhered to.

To me this just reinforced how important it is for me to have the right to be out in my life.. without fear... and to be visible to others striving to find their way.

08-19-2012, 06:59 PM	#5
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,497 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I feel it is important to do anything we can to help our youth. Especially with all of the suicides and bullying that our youth are facing. In my day, most of us were in the closet, and we would have never dreamed of being "out". Today, as adults and a changing (hopefully) society, we encourage our youth to be strong and speak out and be yourself. However this can be dangerous mentally and physically for some of them. I truly would love to help in some way. A while back, when we had the "wear purple" to support our gay youth day, I wore a purple shirt, pony tail holder and i tied a purple bandana around my wrist and went to the mall and just walked around. I felt sorta silly not knowing what to do or how to help someone. I will never forget this group of early teenagers talking about 10 feet from me. I was looking at them thinking "does someone need help". I didn't know what to do and was alone without a vision of what i was actually doing. There was a boy in that group that spotted me and walked around the entire group of teens and smiled big toward me and nodded. I KNOW he knew i was there to help if needed. I KNOW he appreciated that small offering of hope and love and acceptance. It's something i'll never forget. It is also a feeling i want to have again. Great thread. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

08-19-2012, 08:28 PM	#7
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am not sure u would call it mentoring as much as it is just being a presence as well as bring present. Some of us don't have the ability to be out at work...without the fear of being fired from that job ...so freely answering "what did u do this weekend?" Might not be a considered option. But...that being said...since it is not currently a fear(of mine). I think that being a presence, especially in a small Midwestern town is warranted. To at least show that it IS ok & u are not alone... Just my 2 cents tho tip hat __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

08-20-2012, 07:58 AM	#10
TWolf Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Totally taken Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: MS Posts: 74 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 81 Times in 37 Posts Rep Power: 854039	I'm very fortunate in that my company makes diversity a priority, even providing spousal rights to domestic partners. The support I find there was a large part of my decision to transfer to our new facility in Mississippi. Several months ago in talking to a new co-worker, I was asked if the picture on my desk were my family. Of course I proudly pointed out my son, my girlfriend, and her son in the photos. I was genuinely surprised when she then asked quietly.... "So.... is it really... OK?" Through a series of conversations I came to realize that she and her girlfriend were incredulous when they read that portion of the company policy, to the point that she called with the classic "hypothetical" questions to the amusement of the HR rep. Their experiences had led them to feel that this must be some kind of mis-print or a policy that surely was just given lip service and not adhered to. To me this just reinforced how important it is for me to have the right to be out in my life.. without fear... and to be visible to others striving to find their way. __________________ "Honey, in my book your name is spelled... O... M... G...!!" ~ Wolfsgirl

08-19-2012, 05:20 PM	#1
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,439 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	i'm pretty much out about most things in my life and i hope that encourages others to be comfortable being who they are. i don't announce it (unless it's appropriate) but i don't hide things about myself if people ask. i work with lgbtq and disabled youth and i try to be supportive. i see my role more as creating space for people to do what they want to do...with mutual mentoring. i learn as much from them as they do from me, and i'm not that much older. (i'm 24, which may or may not make me a "youth," depending on the context, hehe.) i also help different organizations learn how to be more inclusive of young people and integrate young people into leadership and decision making. i think being "in" or "out" means different things to different people and it's important to respect each person's individual decisions about how/when they are "out." what is "out" to me is not necessarily always the best thing for someone else.

08-19-2012, 06:08 PM	#2
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

08-19-2012, 06:23 PM	#3
spritzerJ Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Queer (gender), female (biological marker) Preferred Pronoun?: she will work as a default. Relationship Status: engaged to jac until 8/10/14 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Maine Posts: 3,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,307 Thanked 15,802 Times in 2,905 Posts Rep Power: 0	Living "out" is a challenge for me at work. I don't take the risk lightly at work (elementary school teacher). Yet I don't stop myself from just being me, including out, because sometimes what I am worried about is just my own internal issues. I feel a responsibility to hold a welcome space for people at work, home and in the community. I don't take lightly that I interact with others and they have feelings I may not see or know. Interestingly enough, I find that I have the most impact to viability and acceptance when I am out as a parent. This came as a surprise to me. And I am glad.

08-19-2012, 07:18 PM	#6
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

08-20-2012, 05:10 AM	#8
jac Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: butch stone Preferred Pronoun?: masculine ones work best... Relationship Status: ♥ engaged to spritz ♥ Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: bangor, maine Posts: 3,344 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,720 Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts Rep Power: 0	Absolutely! One of my biggest mantras is "Live by example." When I was at the university and moving along through my degree, many of the courses I was taking opened the mind to this vary thing on many levels. Me being a non-traditional student and sitting side-by-side with kids my own children's age, I felt and do feel compelled to share my life, my struggles and my growth as a member of the community. I tend to be a story-teller and I was usually able to capture the attention of several in the course. Sometimes they would stop me in the hall or pass me later in the day and want to talk. I was a neutral, none-judgemental adult that they could use as a sounding board. The further along I got with my coursework the more I knew I was doing the right thing since my goal was and still is to run an adolescent homeless shelter for the community someday. I did my internship at our local adolescent homeless shelter and actually got the position because I told the director from the beginning my intenetions. I was hired on after graduation and I am me, living and breathing and succeeding as a member of the community and as a professional. Mentoring is needed... and I do believe it's my responsability... as a stone, a butch, a lesbian, a woman, a mother and anything else some young struggling someone is needing at the time to; hear them, see them and acknowledge them. That is, however, what I always wanted as a youth....