Do you feel a responsibility to mentor younger LGBT?

Kobi · 08-19-2012, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

Ahhh ok. This gives a better idea of what "out" means to you.

What will you be teaching?

princessbelle · 08-19-2012, 06:59 PM

I feel it is important to do anything we can to help our youth. Especially with all of the suicides and bullying that our youth are facing.

In my day, most of us were in the closet, and we would have never dreamed of being "out".

Today, as adults and a changing (hopefully) society, we encourage our youth to be strong and speak out and be yourself. However this can be dangerous mentally and physically for some of them.

I truly would love to help in some way.

A while back, when we had the "wear purple" to support our gay youth day, I wore a purple shirt, pony tail holder and i tied a purple bandana around my wrist and went to the mall and just walked around. I felt sorta silly not knowing what to do or how to help someone.

I will never forget this group of early teenagers talking about 10 feet from me. I was looking at them thinking "does someone need help". I didn't know what to do and was alone without a vision of what i was actually doing.

There was a boy in that group that spotted me and walked around the entire group of teens and smiled big toward me and nodded. I KNOW he knew i was there to help if needed. I KNOW he appreciated that small offering of hope and love and acceptance.

It's something i'll never forget. It is also a feeling i want to have again.

Great thread.

stephfromMIT · 08-19-2012, 07:18 PM

Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

Tcountry · 08-19-2012, 08:28 PM

I am not sure u would call it mentoring as much as it is just being a presence as well as bring present.
Some of us don't have the ability to be out at work...without the fear of being fired from that job ...so freely answering "what did u do this weekend?" Might not be a considered option.
But...that being said...since it is not currently a fear(of mine).
I think that being a presence, especially in a small Midwestern town is warranted. To at least show that it IS ok & u are not alone...

Just my 2 cents tho
*tip hat*

jac · 08-20-2012, 05:10 AM

Absolutely! One of my biggest mantras is "Live by example."

When I was at the university and moving along through my degree, many of the courses I was taking opened the mind to this vary thing on many levels. Me being a non-traditional student and sitting side-by-side with kids my own children's age, I felt and do feel compelled to share my life, my struggles and my growth as a member of the community. I tend to be a story-teller and I was usually able to capture the attention of several in the course. Sometimes they would stop me in the hall or pass me later in the day and want to talk. I was a neutral, none-judgemental adult that they could use as a sounding board.

The further along I got with my coursework the more I knew I was doing the right thing since my goal was and still is to run an adolescent homeless shelter for the community someday. I did my internship at our local adolescent homeless shelter and actually got the position because I told the director from the beginning my intenetions. I was hired on after graduation and I am me, living and breathing and succeeding as a member of the community and as a professional.

Mentoring is needed... and I do believe it's my responsability... as a stone, a butch, a lesbian, a woman, a mother and anything else some young struggling someone is needing at the time to; hear them, see them and acknowledge them. That is, however, what I always wanted as a youth....

girl_dee · 08-20-2012, 06:28 AM

Things have changed over the years. When i was in high school my PE teacher was no doubt a gay woman, we connected, and i wanted SO badly to talk to her. But i couldn't, she couldn't and all the girls were freaked out that our teacher was going to *look* at them.

One of my clients is the clone of my old PE teacher. She tells me how kids come to her left and right about being gay, and that she takes her partner on trips with the kids and parents.

lots happened in 25 years.

When i was in Oregon there was a young gay gal who was a lost puppy. Us old dykes sorta took her under our gay wings and by just showing her that we are NORMAL, gay couples operate like the straight ones! We have the same joys and woes as everyone else. She was out on the mountain but in the closet back home, and by having that experience she gained a great deal. She is still on my FB and we check in regularly. i think she is now out to her family and embracing her identity rather than hiding it feeling shameful.

Sometimes you mentor people by just being an example.

Kobi · 08-20-2012, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

Way cool. Physics fascinates me.

TWolf · 08-20-2012, 07:58 AM

I'm very fortunate in that my company makes diversity a priority, even providing spousal rights to domestic partners. The support I find there was a large part of my decision to transfer to our new facility in Mississippi.

Several months ago in talking to a new co-worker, I was asked if the picture on my desk were my family. Of course I proudly pointed out my son, my girlfriend, and her son in the photos. I was genuinely surprised when she then asked quietly.... "So.... is it really... OK?"

Through a series of conversations I came to realize that she and her girlfriend were incredulous when they read that portion of the company policy, to the point that she called with the classic "hypothetical" questions to the amusement of the HR rep. Their experiences had led them to feel that this must be some kind of mis-print or a policy that surely was just given lip service and not adhered to.

To me this just reinforced how important it is for me to have the right to be out in my life.. without fear... and to be visible to others striving to find their way.

boobookitty · 08-20-2012, 10:49 AM

YES I DO!

I do some counceling, help with online suport groups, and some lecturing.
I try to represent recovery, from abuse and trauma, in a positive way.
I am honest open and upfront with every aspect of my life.

The good the bad te ugly and the really really scary.... we can recover and learn to be who we really are, and feel happy in our everyday lives.
It takes work and time... but to have peace inside is so very very worth it!

stephfromMIT · 08-20-2012, 02:28 PM

June-I absolutely agree we can ALL benefit from mentoring. Whomever is my advisor, they will be straight, so I'll be missing out on the mentoring of an "out" proffessor in my field. I will benefit from their mentoring on a academic, scinetific level, but IMO I'll miss out on the mentoring as a person.

08-19-2012, 06:59 PM	#2
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I feel it is important to do anything we can to help our youth. Especially with all of the suicides and bullying that our youth are facing. In my day, most of us were in the closet, and we would have never dreamed of being "out". Today, as adults and a changing (hopefully) society, we encourage our youth to be strong and speak out and be yourself. However this can be dangerous mentally and physically for some of them. I truly would love to help in some way. A while back, when we had the "wear purple" to support our gay youth day, I wore a purple shirt, pony tail holder and i tied a purple bandana around my wrist and went to the mall and just walked around. I felt sorta silly not knowing what to do or how to help someone. I will never forget this group of early teenagers talking about 10 feet from me. I was looking at them thinking "does someone need help". I didn't know what to do and was alone without a vision of what i was actually doing. There was a boy in that group that spotted me and walked around the entire group of teens and smiled big toward me and nodded. I KNOW he knew i was there to help if needed. I KNOW he appreciated that small offering of hope and love and acceptance. It's something i'll never forget. It is also a feeling i want to have again. Great thread. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

08-19-2012, 08:28 PM	#4
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I am not sure u would call it mentoring as much as it is just being a presence as well as bring present. Some of us don't have the ability to be out at work...without the fear of being fired from that job ...so freely answering "what did u do this weekend?" Might not be a considered option. But...that being said...since it is not currently a fear(of mine). I think that being a presence, especially in a small Midwestern town is warranted. To at least show that it IS ok & u are not alone... Just my 2 cents tho tip hat __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

08-20-2012, 07:58 AM	#8
TWolf Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Totally taken Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: MS Posts: 74 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 81 Times in 37 Posts Rep Power: 854039	I'm very fortunate in that my company makes diversity a priority, even providing spousal rights to domestic partners. The support I find there was a large part of my decision to transfer to our new facility in Mississippi. Several months ago in talking to a new co-worker, I was asked if the picture on my desk were my family. Of course I proudly pointed out my son, my girlfriend, and her son in the photos. I was genuinely surprised when she then asked quietly.... "So.... is it really... OK?" Through a series of conversations I came to realize that she and her girlfriend were incredulous when they read that portion of the company policy, to the point that she called with the classic "hypothetical" questions to the amusement of the HR rep. Their experiences had led them to feel that this must be some kind of mis-print or a policy that surely was just given lip service and not adhered to. To me this just reinforced how important it is for me to have the right to be out in my life.. without fear... and to be visible to others striving to find their way. __________________ "Honey, in my book your name is spelled... O... M... G...!!" ~ Wolfsgirl

08-20-2012, 10:49 AM	#9
boobookitty Member How Do You Identify?: I like the tag Lipstick Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: not picky, but male pronouns are soothing to the psyche Relationship Status: not looking for more than friends Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: central USA Posts: 119 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 70 Thanked 215 Times in 59 Posts Rep Power: 1451775	YES I DO! I do some counceling, help with online suport groups, and some lecturing. I try to represent recovery, from abuse and trauma, in a positive way. I am honest open and upfront with every aspect of my life. The good the bad te ugly and the really really scary.... we can recover and learn to be who we really are, and feel happy in our everyday lives. It takes work and time... but to have peace inside is so very very worth it! __________________ [I]LOL...yeah, I'm a cisgender heterosexual male crossdresser trapped in a womans body. [/I]:sunglass:

08-19-2012, 07:18 PM	#3
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.

08-20-2012, 05:10 AM	#5
jac Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: butch stone Preferred Pronoun?: masculine ones work best... Relationship Status: ♥ engaged to spritz ♥ Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: bangor, maine Posts: 3,344 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,720 Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts Rep Power: 0	Absolutely! One of my biggest mantras is "Live by example." When I was at the university and moving along through my degree, many of the courses I was taking opened the mind to this vary thing on many levels. Me being a non-traditional student and sitting side-by-side with kids my own children's age, I felt and do feel compelled to share my life, my struggles and my growth as a member of the community. I tend to be a story-teller and I was usually able to capture the attention of several in the course. Sometimes they would stop me in the hall or pass me later in the day and want to talk. I was a neutral, none-judgemental adult that they could use as a sounding board. The further along I got with my coursework the more I knew I was doing the right thing since my goal was and still is to run an adolescent homeless shelter for the community someday. I did my internship at our local adolescent homeless shelter and actually got the position because I told the director from the beginning my intenetions. I was hired on after graduation and I am me, living and breathing and succeeding as a member of the community and as a professional. Mentoring is needed... and I do believe it's my responsability... as a stone, a butch, a lesbian, a woman, a mother and anything else some young struggling someone is needing at the time to; hear them, see them and acknowledge them. That is, however, what I always wanted as a youth....

08-20-2012, 06:28 AM	#6
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,832 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Things have changed over the years. When i was in high school my PE teacher was no doubt a gay woman, we connected, and i wanted SO badly to talk to her. But i couldn't, she couldn't and all the girls were freaked out that our teacher was going to look at them. One of my clients is the clone of my old PE teacher. She tells me how kids come to her left and right about being gay, and that she takes her partner on trips with the kids and parents. lots happened in 25 years. When i was in Oregon there was a young gay gal who was a lost puppy. Us old dykes sorta took her under our gay wings and by just showing her that we are NORMAL, gay couples operate like the straight ones! We have the same joys and woes as everyone else. She was out on the mountain but in the closet back home, and by having that experience she gained a great deal. She is still on my FB and we check in regularly. i think she is now out to her family and embracing her identity rather than hiding it feeling shameful. Sometimes you mentor people by just being an example.

08-20-2012, 02:28 PM	#10
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	June-I absolutely agree we can ALL benefit from mentoring. Whomever is my advisor, they will be straight, so I'll be missing out on the mentoring of an "out" proffessor in my field. I will benefit from their mentoring on a academic, scinetific level, but IMO I'll miss out on the mentoring as a person.