Forgiveness

[Martina]

If I can imagine doing something myself, then I can forgive. If I can't imagine ever doing such a thing, if it is out of my ken, then it takes me much longer to forgive, and sometimes I never do. I let it go and forget about it. But if something comes along to remind me, I'll frown remembering.

Even if the motivation is something I can relate to, for example anxiety or fear, if I know that I would never have acted out in that way, then I struggle with forgiveness.

[maryoosa]

I seem to become less forgiving. I'm always a seriously forgiving person. But sometimes, when push comes to shove, I'm just done. I forgive until doing so actually seems to be an act of insanity. And then, I'm just finished with it all.

Ah well, live and learn.

[*Anya*]

I am working on it and hope to get there.

[Miss_Tia]

there is a difference between holding onto a resentment and not forgiving someone.

I wont hold onto resentments anymore because frankly, I dont want to drink. I drank over resentments and none of them were worth the price I paid. All my fault. I knew better.

But forgiving them for what they did to me? No. Not going to happen. Small matters, yes, no problem. I can forgive almost anyone for anything, because frankly, its all small shit in the course of a lifetime. But every once in awhile, there is a Big Thing. I can analyze it, understand why they did it, pray for them, but I still will not forgive them IF forgiveness is not warranted.

sometimes forgiveness is NOT warranted.

I grew up in an era where we were told to continually praise kids, award them ribbons for showing up, give them parades for ordinary conduct to boost self esteem. We ended up with a generation of self indulgent narcissistic lil monsters.

Same with forgiveness. You know, sometimes people do shit that is just NOT right. Earlier I read in another thread about teens who bowled over an octogenarian war hero...punks. Oh boy. I need to forgive them for being assholes. Really? And this makes them a better person because they have my forgiveness. Maybe I can understand why they did it. So friggin what? I can have compassion for them over why, but honey, I am not about to forgive someone who does that to an old man.

and while I agree with Princess Belle about forgiveness being a gift I give myself, I hold firm to the gift I give those I dont forgive..and thats natural consequences. Hurt me until my soul spiritually bleeds and I will never forgive you. I wont carry a resentment around forever, but I wont forgive you. Live with what you did to me forever. If you earned it, you deserve it. What you did is about YOU, not me and i wont get eaten up by it, by not forgiving you. Your asshat behavior is yours. Its not my toxins. Its YOURS>

Again, most of the time, 99% of the time, I forgive people. But some blacksouled people will bear eternally their natural consequence to who they are and what they did to me.

[Nomad]

forgiving others isnt difficult. forgiving myself isnt easy. i've lived down to plenty of sub standard standards in my un-better self days. i find that i'm likely to need forgiveness more than any amount of forgiving i've done or could do. fortunately for me everyone grows up eventually, if for no other reason than to engage in living the rest of life without causing so much pain.

[Jean_TX]

Originally Posted by Martina

If I can imagine doing something myself, then I can forgive. If I can't imagine ever doing such a thing, if it is out of my ken, then it takes me much longer to forgive, and sometimes I never do. I let it go and forget about it. But if something comes along to remind me, I'll frown remembering.

Even if the motivation is something I can relate to, for example anxiety or fear, if I know that I would never have acted out in that way, then I struggle with forgiveness.

I too struggle with forgiveness if I never would have acted in the way the offender did ...I just cannot summon up the required empathy.

[wahya]

You can never heal completely until you can forgive completely

[JAGG]

Forgiveness doesn't stop the pain.
Forgiveness doesn't erase a memory.
Forgiveness doesn't fade a scar.
Forgiveness doesn't heal a wound.
Forgiveness doesn't unbreak a heart.
Forgiveness doesn't repair what was destroyed.
Forgiveness doesn't answer any nagging questions.
Forgiveness doesn't ease the grieving or loss.
Forgiveness can't return what was taken.
Forgiveness simply removes anger from the equation.

[JustBeingMe]

I want to contribute to this thread but will have to come back to it another time. I have enjoyed reading it and think it's a great thread. I hope more post here. til next time batman, same time same place same channel!

[~ocean]

forgiveness ~ follows acceptance ~ when u can accept the inevitable ~ then forgive ~

[wahya]

I have had to learn to forgive because nothing can change or will when you keep asking questions over and over. You cannot change the past. What's done is done. It took me a looong time to quit asking myself why? Why? Why? I was wasting my mind space day after day. Over someone that didnt give a damn about me anymore. I cared about myself too much to let ANYBODY take anything from me like that again. I got a life to live.

[~ocean]

like the Title of the room" FORGIVNESS " try it ~