Important things I learned from past relationships

Ginger · 08-21-2012, 02:05 PM

I learned that break ups bring out the worst but also the best in people.

When N and I broke up we had a house and an apartment and ten years of shared stuff. There was not one moment of haggling or fighting over assets. It went like this:

You take it. You always loved that thing.
No, you take it. It meant so much to you.

I spackled the holes in the wall from framed prints I removed, and touched up the paint, then moved furniture around so it wouldn't look so empty. She mailed me a huge box of Christmas presents, because she knew I was alone that first year, in another state.

We might not have been in love, but we trusted each other. That's what got us through the divorce.

From other breakups, I've learned:

If it isn't real, the pain will disappear fast.
If it is real, if there is love, it might take longer to get over, but the lessons will be deeper.

Honestly though, I'm a slow learner in all things, especially those involving my heart.

Apocalipstic · 08-21-2012, 02:17 PM

I've learned that I am very different from who I thought I was.

I've learned that I don't have it in me to be everything for someone. I get overvigilant and weird.

I've learned that expectations just ask for dissapointment.

I've learned that Thanksgiving alone is not so bad, especially when you are allergic to turkey.

I've learned that sleeping with someone can often take away objectivity. For ever.

weatherboi · 08-21-2012, 02:24 PM

i learned if coming home to no furniture happens...don't believe em when they say they ordered new stuff. verify verify verify!!!

Blue_Daddy-O · 08-21-2012, 02:38 PM

Keep Loving.

Ginger · 08-21-2012, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Daddy-O

Keep Loving.

I guess that's the ultimate lesson.

I think we live longer when we love other people, too.

Blue_Daddy-O · 08-21-2012, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I guess that's the ultimate lesson.

I think we live longer when we love other people, too.

Yes, I believe so. I don't know about living longer. LoL. I have never wanted to be the one left behind and when my health goes I hope to go quickly instead of lingering on. But, definitely happier while alive. When our hearts are full of love there is less room for anger, for sure. Although, I do stay angry about worldly issues.

Breezy · 08-22-2012, 11:35 PM

Forgive everything, this includes me and the other person.

Always love with an open hand.

Always show/share love. Each relationship is never with the same exact individual over and over again. It is a new love, a new person and another chance to give and receive love.

Overlaying the past upon the present is unproductive, useless, negative and gauranteed to doom a relationship.

Stay in joy. Seek joy. Give joy.

Have lives which include shared and sepearate interests.

Making love is important.

08-21-2012, 02:17 PM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I've learned that I am very different from who I thought I was. I've learned that I don't have it in me to be everything for someone. I get overvigilant and weird. I've learned that expectations just ask for dissapointment. I've learned that Thanksgiving alone is not so bad, especially when you are allergic to turkey. I've learned that sleeping with someone can often take away objectivity. For ever. __________________

08-21-2012, 02:24 PM	#3
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,549 Times in 2,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	i learned if coming home to no furniture happens...don't believe em when they say they ordered new stuff. verify verify verify!!! __________________

08-21-2012, 02:05 PM	#1
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I learned that break ups bring out the worst but also the best in people. When N and I broke up we had a house and an apartment and ten years of shared stuff. There was not one moment of haggling or fighting over assets. It went like this: You take it. You always loved that thing. No, you take it. It meant so much to you. I spackled the holes in the wall from framed prints I removed, and touched up the paint, then moved furniture around so it wouldn't look so empty. She mailed me a huge box of Christmas presents, because she knew I was alone that first year, in another state. We might not have been in love, but we trusted each other. That's what got us through the divorce. From other breakups, I've learned: If it isn't real, the pain will disappear fast. If it is real, if there is love, it might take longer to get over, but the lessons will be deeper. Honestly though, I'm a slow learner in all things, especially those involving my heart.

08-21-2012, 02:38 PM	#4
Blue_Daddy-O Member How Do You Identify?: Retro Daddy, Male-Identified Preferred Pronoun?: He Him Sir Mister Husband Dom Master Relationship Status: Single and ready for a garden party Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 411 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 222 Thanked 652 Times in 226 Posts Rep Power: 5877932	Keep Loving.

08-22-2012, 11:35 PM	#7
Breezy Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: . Posts: 1,372 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,337 Thanked 4,555 Times in 1,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Forgive everything, this includes me and the other person. Always love with an open hand. Always show/share love. Each relationship is never with the same exact individual over and over again. It is a new love, a new person and another chance to give and receive love. Overlaying the past upon the present is unproductive, useless, negative and gauranteed to doom a relationship. Stay in joy. Seek joy. Give joy. Have lives which include shared and sepearate interests. Making love is important.