Prince Charming? Pfft!

fuzzypinkego · 03-09-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack

I'm not going to give you relationship advice. I am not qualified to do that.

However, let me just share this thought, for what it is worth.

Scrap the grand plan.

In my view, life cannot be planned. Life happens. You can't plan it. You can't schedule it. You just have to deal with how it comes at you. In my opinion, having a grand plan just continually sets you up for disappointment. Live in the moment, or at least try to.

Jake

This is great advice that I probabaly won't take, although I promise to try! I've always been a planner, I don't know how to not be a planner.

Hack · 03-09-2010, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

This is great advice that I probabaly won't take, although I promise to try! I've always been a planner, I don't know how to not be a planner.

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

fuzzypinkego · 03-09-2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

Well I appreciate your "me" place!

Selenay · 03-09-2010, 08:22 PM

I've kissed a few princes, and I've kissed a few frogs. . . From that, I've learned a few things.

First? Sometimes the princes aren't so charming. Sometimes they're crude and crass, sometimes they're frustrating and stubborn. Sometimes those princes start off charming and are just plain mean.

Sometimes the princes don't know any more about what that round thingy in the toilet is than I do, sometimes they can make a mean souffle. Sometimes those princes are royal pain in the asses.

Sometimes they can fix your car, sometimes they drive it into the mailbox a few times.

Sometimes that prince turns out to be a toad, and sometimes that toad you've been pouring your heart out to is the shiniest prince of them all.

But me?

I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed.

Allison W · 03-09-2010, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed.

I had to un-lurk just to say that is a kinda hot mental image, but now, I have to ask what it means!

As far as my views on rescuers... There are, admittedly, a lot of times I wouldn't mind a rescuer, myself. (And I'm a bit of a fuck-up, so who knows--I might even end up keeping them interested.)

Selenay · 03-09-2010, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allison W

I had to un-lurk just to say that is a kinda hot mental image, but now, I have to ask what it means!

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

fuzzypinkego · 03-09-2010, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

I love it!!

Allison W · 03-09-2010, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

Ooh la la. Protectors excite me.

Liquefaction · 03-09-2010, 08:23 PM

The most important thing I have learned is you can not make anything happen. The more you push/try to make something happen, the harder it is to achieve.

Isadora · 03-09-2010, 08:25 PM

Prince Charming of Disney vein does not exist, therefore it is impossible to find. Humans tend to be full of contradictions, inconsistencies and are highly changeable. We are complex beings.

Goals are wonderful. Without them I would never have gotten my education, my career and live somewhere I love. I hope you have an adventurous journey and amiyesiam has a point in that it is your journey. Everyone else involved with it are travel companions. Some more intimate than others.

Personally, I believe more and more in fate. I really have no other explanation of how life can ummm re-arrange our goals. It just happens. Mostly cause we have no control over the feelings, choices and actions of others. We can ruminate, extol the virtues of life planning but truly the only thing you control is your own choices. I set goals and completed them but in that process I learned that life dances us into amazing places. I went from convent to leather and corsets. I went from virgin to sexually adventureous. Who woulda known?

So never ever give up hope for what you seek. I have more than I ever dreamed of having in my life. I am sure you will have the same!

Lusciousblondefemme · 03-09-2010, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack

I'm not going to give you relationship advice. I am not qualified to do that.

However, let me just share this thought, for what it is worth.

Scrap the grand plan.

In my view, life cannot be planned. Life happens. You can't plan it. You can't schedule it. You just have to deal with how it comes at you. In my opinion, having a grand plan just continually sets you up for disappointment. Live in the moment, or at least try to.

Jake

I think that your advice is wonderful. I absolutely agree with you that life can not be planned out. You can not predetermine the path that life will take you. Every door opens up another challenge that you do not know about prior to it.

I also agree with you about "I am sorry" being harder to say than "I love you" I think that people tend to throw the I love you around too easily.

As for the topic of the thread.. I think that once you stop looking it will find you .. Love is not something you are supposed to hunt for ... It is something that is supposed to find you when you least expect it...

Just remember that until you truly love yourself and are happy with yourself, you can not know what love and happiness are with someone else.

sweetfemme247 · 03-09-2010, 08:31 PM

Thank you for this, I am now for once starting to know that my age and my size makes me who i am and I am beautiful and smart and anyone would be lucky to be with me.

bigbutchmistie · 03-09-2010, 08:54 PM

I absolutely agree with Hack... I have stopped "looking" and "planning" and will say that Im just living my life. If it happens great if it doesnt Im ok with that too. I love me and am enjoying and living my life.. I have a great career, great friends, and am settled. I am happy with my life. I dont need someone to complete me or make me happy. I have reached that point by myself. The only thing that someone coming into my life would do now is enhance it... Good luck Fuzzy

adorable · 03-09-2010, 09:40 PM

Prince charming is boring. ((YAWN)) I prefer finding someone who is completely wrong for me, nothing of what I want, emotionally unavailable and fixing them up. No one ever seems to appreciate that level of dedication though.

My expectations are outrageous and the only thing more ridiculous is my proven track record of poor choices. And this is after years of therapy and hard work. What I knew at 25 was that I was better off alone. lol. I forgot that until this last year. Then I got caught up in whatever the current trend was - I tend do the same thing with handbags - and I just have to have one. They just look so cute on your arm....sure they're expensive, but everyone else has one!

People are human. If you find someone who can make you laugh ~ really laugh. Someone who accepts you with all your flaws and who shares your values, I really think that is enough. It seems like it should be.

I am not hard to please, but do seem to be impossible to understand. I have serious commitment issues too - I don't expect perfection in them - I do expect it of myself. Then live in fear I will be discovered - they will realize I'm not perfect - so why bother? Or worse, they already know so they are going to leave any minute - I watch for signs, can't take the suspense and jump ship before they push me off.
(Did ya'll see the leap there? Therein lies a problem with my thinking....lol.)

I DO believe that there is someone for everyone else. So all the rest of you have a good shot. Just stay away from me. Unless you are hung up on your ex, stuck in an abusive relationship, a serial cheater, compulsive liar or abusive.......in that case you should call me so I can get that sorted out for you.

03-09-2010, 08:22 PM	#4
Selenay Member How Do You Identify?: A soul for a compass and a heart for a pair of wings. Preferred Pronoun?: All I ask of living is to have no chains on me. Relationship Status: All I own are the strides I spend to the finish line. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Somewhere in between here and gone. Posts: 662 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 110 Thanked 1,447 Times in 369 Posts Rep Power: 6344715	When you break it down, it's all about love and negotiation. I've kissed a few princes, and I've kissed a few frogs. . . From that, I've learned a few things. First? Sometimes the princes aren't so charming. Sometimes they're crude and crass, sometimes they're frustrating and stubborn. Sometimes those princes start off charming and are just plain mean. Sometimes the princes don't know any more about what that round thingy in the toilet is than I do, sometimes they can make a mean souffle. Sometimes those princes are royal pain in the asses. Sometimes they can fix your car, sometimes they drive it into the mailbox a few times. Sometimes that prince turns out to be a toad, and sometimes that toad you've been pouring your heart out to is the shiniest prince of them all. But me? I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed. __________________ Two or three things I know for sure, And one is that I would rather go naked Than wear the coat the world has made for me. Last edited by Selenay; 03-09-2010 at 08:25 PM.

03-09-2010, 08:25 PM	#10
Isadora Member How Do You Identify?: Momma, Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: I am in love. Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: California Posts: 997 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 502 Thanked 2,126 Times in 559 Posts Rep Power: 2369288	Prince Charming of Disney vein does not exist, therefore it is impossible to find. Humans tend to be full of contradictions, inconsistencies and are highly changeable. We are complex beings. Goals are wonderful. Without them I would never have gotten my education, my career and live somewhere I love. I hope you have an adventurous journey and amiyesiam has a point in that it is your journey. Everyone else involved with it are travel companions. Some more intimate than others. Personally, I believe more and more in fate. I really have no other explanation of how life can ummm re-arrange our goals. It just happens. Mostly cause we have no control over the feelings, choices and actions of others. We can ruminate, extol the virtues of life planning but truly the only thing you control is your own choices. I set goals and completed them but in that process I learned that life dances us into amazing places. I went from convent to leather and corsets. I went from virgin to sexually adventureous. Who woulda known? So never ever give up hope for what you seek. I have more than I ever dreamed of having in my life. I am sure you will have the same! __________________ "I have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with people you don't agree with or like." Margaret Mead Read me! www.leatherati.com

03-09-2010, 08:31 PM	#12
sweetfemme247 Member How Do You Identify?: fem Preferred Pronoun?: femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status: holding my heart close and putting back up a wall Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: california, palm springs Posts: 994 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts Rep Power: 4115671	Thank you for this, I am now for once starting to know that my age and my size makes me who i am and I am beautiful and smart and anyone would be lucky to be with me. __________________ Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

03-09-2010, 08:23 PM	#9
Liquefaction Member How Do You Identify?: Femme with a dash of tomboy. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: California Posts: 101 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 126 Thanked 81 Times in 28 Posts Rep Power: 3593	The most important thing I have learned is you can not make anything happen. The more you push/try to make something happen, the harder it is to achieve.

03-09-2010, 08:54 PM	#13
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I absolutely agree with Hack... I have stopped "looking" and "planning" and will say that Im just living my life. If it happens great if it doesnt Im ok with that too. I love me and am enjoying and living my life.. I have a great career, great friends, and am settled. I am happy with my life. I dont need someone to complete me or make me happy. I have reached that point by myself. The only thing that someone coming into my life would do now is enhance it... Good luck Fuzzy

03-09-2010, 09:40 PM	#14
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,643 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	Prince charming is boring. ((YAWN)) I prefer finding someone who is completely wrong for me, nothing of what I want, emotionally unavailable and fixing them up. No one ever seems to appreciate that level of dedication though. My expectations are outrageous and the only thing more ridiculous is my proven track record of poor choices. And this is after years of therapy and hard work. What I knew at 25 was that I was better off alone. lol. I forgot that until this last year. Then I got caught up in whatever the current trend was - I tend do the same thing with handbags - and I just have to have one. They just look so cute on your arm....sure they're expensive, but everyone else has one! People are human. If you find someone who can make you laugh ~ really laugh. Someone who accepts you with all your flaws and who shares your values, I really think that is enough. It seems like it should be. I am not hard to please, but do seem to be impossible to understand. I have serious commitment issues too - I don't expect perfection in them - I do expect it of myself. Then live in fear I will be discovered - they will realize I'm not perfect - so why bother? Or worse, they already know so they are going to leave any minute - I watch for signs, can't take the suspense and jump ship before they push me off. (Did ya'll see the leap there? Therein lies a problem with my thinking....lol.) I DO believe that there is someone for everyone else. So all the rest of you have a good shot. Just stay away from me. Unless you are hung up on your ex, stuck in an abusive relationship, a serial cheater, compulsive liar or abusive.......in that case you should call me so I can get that sorted out for you.