Lounge for Deaf people and their allies

[Angeltoes]

Several years ago I attended a New Years party with a friend who was dating a deaf guy who was also afro-american. This was in Portland where people are generally liberal and sane about social issues, but what struck me was that even the most liberal people seemed to have deep biases about deaf individuals. It was bizarre to see how uncomfortable hearing people were with this deaf guy and how at liberty they seemed to feel with making rude comments such as 'oh, you can dance? how is that possible' or making up their own sign language as is if he wouldn't know the difference... embarrassing. My hearing friend shrugged it off, because it really is the way of hearing people, unfortunately. After knowing deaf individuals and that they think, love, know and dance like everyone else, I can't help but wonder why we treat the hearing community as if they belong to a different species. It's no barrier to me. My ASL skills are not strong but I plan on learning.

[lusciouskiwi]

I learnt to finger spell because I dated a deaf lesbian quite a few years ago now. I learnt a few signs as well, but now it's been so long I've forgotten most of them (even though I went to classes).

Whenever we went out, people would either stare at us (we also had to do a lot of writing down - she always carried pen and paper with her) and at cafes staff would always ask me what she wanted. I told them to ask her.

From what I understand, whether deaf kids learn NZSL and lip reading or just NZSL has depended on the educational policies of the time. But NZSL is also an official language of NZ. Is that the same in the US?

It's strange knowing a little bit of sign and being in a foreign country. I used to chat with a deaf gay Korean guy I knew, when I worked there, if I saw him at the club. But it was difficult because my knowledge was so limited of Korean and ASL. In Malaysia there isn't much lip reading which I find strange. In NZ, I was used to folks concentrating on my whole face. I had a deaf colleague at my first job in Malaysia and I was really the only person who made an effort to speak with her - especially amongst the other foreigners.

When I was learning to sign back in NZ, I really enjoy the expressiveness of it.

[Breathless]

I have been studying for a short while, excited that classes start next week. One of the biggest struggles that I have, is that I dont have anyone to practice with. Sure I can make some of the signs, but without that conversation back and forth you dont have the confirmation of someone trying to understand to know if they are correct, also I didnt have anyone to try to read and understand.
Being the problem solver that I am by nature.. I have a new past time.. call me crazy.. but Id rather call it determined to learn..
I watch music videos, with the volume off, and try to sing along by the signs..
Here are one of my fav's.. kind of makes the learning, a little more entertaining..

[yotlyolqualli]

I have a great niece, Aurora who turned three in August. Her mother, and grandmother,.. well... all of us, became concerned when another great niece, Kelsi, born a few weeks after Aurora, began to talk, but Aurora simply pointed and grunted. We didn't worry too too much though, because A walked at 8 months and was perfectly steady enough on her feet to run before she was a year old. She also followed... well.. not spoken directions, but would imitate the actions of the adults around her. When she turned 2 & a half, her doctor's grew concerned and tested her hearing. While she responded appropriately to loud sounds, there was no response to "normal" sounds. She was enrolled in the early headstart program with a speech therapist who is working with her to get her to learn to speak clearly, but first and foremost, she gave Aurora the means to communicate. She began teaching her to sign. Her vocabulary, both signing and speaking has taken off in the past 6 months! At our families 4th of July picnic, my brother, Aurora's uncle Nick, did something silly and Aurora just giggled all over herself, signing over and over again.. "uncle Nick, funny!"

It's an awesome thing to watch her explore and it just makes some of the things she does, so much more profound. In july of last year, her baby brother was born. He was not a quiet cryer, but Aurora could not hear him cry. However, when she would SEE him cry, she would sit down where she stood, and cry with him! Their Mom also teaches her little brother to sign each new word he learns, so that he and his big sister can talk with each other, as well.

Several years back, a young lady, after spending the summer in costa rica with teen missions international, came back and, during a church service, "signed" a song she had learned while serving. A woman in our congregation called it, "Hannah, dancing". The signed language is beautiful and so expressive and so much more tangible than the spoken language. I find that I take being able to hear, too much for granted at times. Aurora is changing that and changing perceptions of the deaf community, in our family.

[PhotoButch24]

Believe it or not, I got the cochlear implant for my family, not myself. I was happy being deaf, but they made no real effort to try to communicate. It was always done on their end. Meaning, I have to make things work, I have to read lips, I have to ask them to speak up or speak clearly. So, it was necessary that I should get the cochlear implant.

There are times where I wished they tried, and that I never got the implant. I do wish I met more deaf people growing up, that I wasn't always mainstreamed. I wish I had a chance to chose so to speak. After getting the implant I was right back where I started decades ago when my parents realized I had progressive hearing loss. I am stuck between two worlds, the deaf and the hearing. Both of which are incredibly judgmental.

Do I regret it? I don't know.

I do wish to date someone in the same boat as me, or someone deaf. I want to gain a new experience, a new world and a chance to see where I truly belong.

[Breathless]

Damonk, I totally get where you are coming from, however from a different stand point. I have been friends with someone here for over 14 years. She is deaf. We finally got to meet face to face last year.. So excited to get to see my friend of all these years. We tried to talk, and I had difficulty understanding her. I felt pathetic!!! Here my friend has all the skills and knows my language, yet I could not speak hers?? We resorted to writing our conversation down.. Pen and paper.. Slow... And without tone.. So I made the decision that this was just not okay. Since then, I talked to a good friend that is an interpreter, she has pointed me in the direction that I needed, and offered assistance, should I need.
I lost my career #1 choice about 10 years ago, as a nurse from an injury on the job. Since then I have done a few different things for employment.. Bills have to be paid after all, but the absolute I love my job was no longer present. Until now.. Since I made the decision to become an interpreter, the passion and fire is back, and I am excited to do something that matters to my heart, and bridges that 'need' gap caused by a language barrier.

[always2late]

This past Thursday I took my first class in Sign Language...and I LOVE it!! Our professor posted her syllabus online and after reading it, I have to confess, I thought the class was going to be a bit daunting. My professor insists that we do not speak in class...at all. Except for the first 5 minutes of class, and on our 10 minute break halfway through class, we are not allowed to speak...not to the professor and not to each other. I thought this approach would make learning more difficult..but on the contrary, I am finding it SO much easier!! We are "forced" to learn in order to be able to communicate. Of course, our professor is not being unrealistic...if someone has a question in class that we haven't learned enough to be able to sign properly, we are able to write the question down. As the professor explained, she wants us to start to get used to having to use alternate forms of communication...and not to rely on our voices.

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by PhotoButch24

Believe it or not, I got the cochlear implant for my family, not myself. I was happy being deaf, but they made no real effort to try to communicate. It was always done on their end. Meaning, I have to make things work, I have to read lips, I have to ask them to speak up or speak clearly. So, it was necessary that I should get the cochlear implant.

There are times where I wished they tried, and that I never got the implant. I do wish I met more deaf people growing up, that I wasn't always mainstreamed. I wish I had a chance to chose so to speak. After getting the implant I was right back where I started decades ago when my parents realized I had progressive hearing loss. I am stuck between two worlds, the deaf and the hearing. Both of which are incredibly judgmental.

Do I regret it? I don't know.

I do wish to date someone in the same boat as me, or someone deaf. I want to gain a new experience, a new world and a chance to see where I truly belong.

Thanks for your comment you bring up a very interesting topic something that is always discussed about in the Deaf Community. I am hard of hearing I have been wearing hearing aids since I was 2 and now I am 32, I was born with my hearing loss. As I have gotten older in the past 10 years my hearing has progressively gotten worse. My audiologist and I have spoken about this, and where this could lead me to in the next decade of my life. I am already wearing high powered hearing aids with amplification that's at a high level currently. As for getting more amplification, these will last me probably another 5 yrs or so before I may have to get a cochlear implant. I was raised mainstream, and I took 10 years of speech therapy growing up. The only thing is I don't really know ASL. I have tried to take classes for it, but I just can't remember it enough to use it. But what I find bizarre and interesting is when I am with friends who can't hear or are deaf but still able to communicate by mouth movements and slight voice. I typically will sign the basics of what I know currently. My situation growing up was the opposite then yours, I had too much hearing so therefore I was told to learn speech and not waste my opportunity to live in the mainstream world. But yet I feel so lost sometimes because I don't purely fit in the hearing world or the deaf world 2 very different cultures.