PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yes, that is part of it. Do you have seizures? It can be from the kind of seizures you have as well. It is called Partial Complex Seizures. I know my life would have been so different if we were treated back then instead of struggling all the time. Every thing is a struggle. I told someone once that I feel like I am on the sidelines of life while everyone else is on the playing field. They are able to keep moving up and have the options and things in life that I can only dream of.

No seizures. Just voices.

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Hi everyone!

So good to see you out and posting today! This is my first stop when I come in here...I look forward to it...watching us, share, learn, help, support, nurture, vent and all that we do...I feel more at home here than anywhere else...I post in others, but this has become my home thread, if you will....

As for the basket, that is so fabulous that you all are thinking about contributing...no gift too small, homemade is so special, I'm thinking of adding a jewelry set I've made as well as the pampering stuff...It sounds cool to me...

Apocalipstic, I hope you meant that comment for me about heaading up this basket donation cuz I am willing and ready and able...(I am already thinking of other things to add...)lol...

Andrew, hi brother! I missed you...Jet, glad to see you sharing again...Princess4U snaps to you, you're awesome! Braedon, I thank you for the hug back....I love hugs...Ima hug everybody when I see you (if/when) I see you at the reunion if y'all make it...

Apocalipstic, thanks for your thread and an opportunity to voice, vent, rant, encourage, respond and share here...you done good...(hope that doesn't sound condescending...)

Love, hugs and many blessings to you all--
Little Shug

I did mean you!
and thank you!

Originally Posted by Semantics

It could be auditory hallucinations, which can be a symptom of the PTSD.
There are specific treatments for auditory hallucinations and hopefully your therapist can help you.

We are working on it. I was having visual hallucinations too and those have mostly stopped for now.

Originally Posted by Rook

I sympathize with the auditory hallucination issue...
However...
I can safely say, you're gonna have a helluva ride finding decent hearing aids, especially if you hear quite alright, Unless u manage to get medical clearance {your psychologist/psychiatrist, for example, could recommend or prescribe a low dB hearing aid, inner ear type}
I'm profoundly Deaf, and I have a really...fucked up dandy time getting medical/insurance approval for 1, every 4 years [ they happily talk about cochlear implant, but that's a different issue, different thread ]

I do wish you good luck, if they say that'll help you.

I am hoping it is just part of my PTSD,
If it keep happening I will ask for more testing. Thank you

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Oh sorry, and hello to Apocalipstic and Rook--hadn't seen you around but I'm glad you're here, too...Have a great evening y'all...I'm trying to go to bed, but that inhalor they gave me makes me jittery and a little hyper so I am just lurking and trying to get sleepy cuz I need some sleep! The inhalor raises my blood pressure a little and I get fussy, like now, my puppy is irritating me and there's nothing to watch on the tv that captures my attention...geez....what is this...I need some chamomile tea...yeah..

Braedon, I wish you could come...maybe let's pray about it...and see what's in store for you...I promise if you make it and I make it, Ima give everybody here a hug...I already told my hunny...hy's okay with it...lol...

Good night all! God bless you greatly.

Love, Shug

I hate inhalers or anything speedy. I hope today you feel way better!
yeay for chamomile!

Originally Posted by Braedon

(((((((((((((Shug)))))))))))) If we could both make it I look forward to a hug, and I'm glad your honey is okay with it

I am 46 and just now learning not to care.

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

Andrew.. Do you still have contact with this person?

Actually, that is a question I often wonder... Do people keep their abusers in their life.. and if so.. why?

*Not just idle curiousity... I just go the other way.. I handle things by dissociation *

Before I did separate myself from my father, I did not understand that I was strong enough to walk away. I stayed out of fear and some weird sense of duty.

Abusers are often manipulative, so many probably do not know why they stay.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

The only reason my bio-father is in my life is due to my mother. I cherish her, and the the ground she walks on. I only see her once a year, and that is not nearly enough, but that is due to my father.

Does he treat her like he does you?

[Random]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Before I did separate myself from my father, I did not understand that I was strong enough to walk away. I stayed out of fear and some weird sense of duty.

Abusers are often manipulative, so many probably do not know why they stay.

I can somewhat understand that..

For me... I shut down.. I distance myself... The more *broke* I feel, the more *fragile* I am.. The more distant and cold I become.. Instinctive self protection.. If I can't feel anything, then nothing can hurt me.. Memories have no sway, words have no meaning... nothing touches me... For me.. sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing... If I shut down too hard, too fast, it can take months for me to be able to feel anything again..

But for me... Not feeling is better than crazy time...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

I can somewhat understand that..

For me... I shut down.. I distance myself... The more *broke* I feel, the more *fragile* I am.. The more distant and cold I become.. Instinctive self protection.. If I can't feel anything, then nothing can hurt me.. Memories have no sway, words have no meaning... nothing touches me... For me.. sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing... If I shut down too hard, too fast, it can take months for me to be able to feel anything again..

But for me... Not feeling is better than crazy time...

My experience has been pretty similar. We all develop different coping mechanisms and for me distancing works. Even as a kid, when I had no choice but to ge where I was (or kill myself ,someone else or run away) I buried myself in books and music and art. I escaped.

Today in therapy we discussed how this inertia...this inability to act has actually served me well.

I am not dead or in jail.

[Random]

*Nods*......

Alive and not in jail is a very good thing...

[Andrew, Jr.]

Oh, my father is mean, nasty, and has a razor sharp tongue. It doesn't matter if he knows you or not. He just says whatever he is thinking to whomever. It is very embarassing at times. He is very sick mentally.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Oh, my father is mean, nasty, and has a razor sharp tongue. It doesn't matter if he knows you or not. He just says whatever he is thinking to whomever. It is very embarassing at times. He is very sick mentally.

So he treats your mother as bad as he does you?

I often wonder why my mother stayed with my father. The church I guess?

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So he treats your mother as bad as he does you?

I often wonder why my mother stayed with my father. The church I guess?

I think...that ppl stay in an abusive relationship for many reasons...including the church. Also I think when abuse is all you know...there is a comfort there that is hard to break away from. You know what to expect, you know how to behave, you know how to protect yourself and what the particular buttons are to avoid. Its comfort in knowing how to be or how to exist. It is taking me a long time of trying to believe friends when they pay me a compliment because...I feel so unworthy of kindness and good ppl. I am so used to knowing how to behave and talk , walk, dress be what was expected of me...just so i could survive. I wonder if perhaps this isnt true for your mom? If you think about it..and I dont know how old you are to begin to guess how old your mom is...but my mom was born in the 30"s and they were taught to do what the husband tells you to...that you suck it up and never complain. Family secrets are to remain as secrets and you "never aire your dirty laundry" god how many times I have heard that in my life! I was raised with the same mentality...I was told over and over again..."you dont have to know how to do (this or that) because you will have a husband and he will take care of those things." Like oh how to start and maintain a checking account. How to get a car fixed or what to ask to do so...how to budget money, how to fill a gas tank. Hummmmmm <looking around> there aint any husband here...or even a hym for that matter. My brother on the other hand was taken aside and taught all of these things ad many more....just trying to point out how parent influence us and their parents influenced them. Just a thought! hope it helps a bit

[Jet]

When my trauma occurred, my mother flew in from California to take care of me. She took care of my apartment, car, bills and sat in the hospital with me until my release. There was no one like her as being a terrific mother and friend to me. As I relive and reprocess my trauma, after 17 years, thinking of her being there helps with this purging and reliving process today. These days, I think of her often as I remember what happened. It helps to sooth the pain.

My father and stepmother were also there and so were my friends.