Butches who don't bind

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by stone4play

I have wondered the same thing!! Of course I have also wondered if Steph is doing some sort of MIT research/thesis for that next degree... Hmmmm are ya?
I like the questions... It's brought new perspective to the place and has created conversation and community interaction. Just curious though....

Well that's what I thought, but steph said she's not had any gender studies classes. The topics are definitely loaded and not only has good convos happened but damn some ugly shits been said as well all in the name of opinion.

I'm curious as to how stephs real time experiences with butches are.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Well that's what I thought, but steph said she's not had any gender studies classes. The topics are definitely loaded and not only has good convos happened but damn some ugly shits been said as well all in the name of opinion.

I'm curious as to how stephs real time experiences with butches are.

Yes and if my opinion is part of some official research project i'd like to know.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Yes and if my opinion is part of some official research project i'd like to know.

I guess if it feels creepy deep down I'd not engage with steph. It's a bit obvious she likes hot topics and that her wording is either a thought out process or she has issues knowing how to post or what verbiage to use(though it's hard to believe considering the MIT background)

If she's using this community as guinea pigs I hope she's got permission from folks before doing so. Reality is that we'll never really know cause computer screens hide a lottttt, for all we know she's a doctor or somethin'..

<-- only plays a doctor during consensual scenes

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I guess if it feels creepy deep down I'd not engage with steph. It's a bit obvious she likes hot topics and that her wording is either a thought out process or she has issues knowing how to post or what verbiage to use(though it's hard to believe considering the MIT background)

If she's using this community as guinea pigs I hope she's got permission from folks before doing so. Reality is that we'll never really know cause computer screens hide a lottttt, for all we know she's a doctor or somethin'..

<-- only plays a doctor during consensual scenes

This part exactly, i love hot subjects because i do like thinking beyond the fluff stuff at times, and if not for certain hot subjects i don't think i would have learned as much along the way, i feel i have grown as a person and a femme by reading words of others. i've changed my perspective on things because of this, and now i wonder what took me so long.

i appreciate the conversation, but Steph ya seem to have come out of nowhere with very pointed thread titles without much offer as to why or what your experiences are yourself.

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I guess if it feels creepy deep down I'd not engage with steph. It's a bit obvious she likes hot topics and that her wording is either a thought out process or she has issues knowing how to post or what verbiage to use(though it's hard to believe considering the MIT background)

If she's using this community as guinea pigs I hope she's got permission from folks before doing so. Reality is that we'll never really know cause computer screens hide a lottttt, for all we know she's a doctor or somethin'..

<-- only plays a doctor during consensual scenes

But, do we really know if she has an MIT background or just going by what she tells us?

I am always wary of someone that asks so many questions and is somewhat evasive in giving their own answers to questions others give back.

I shall just kick back and continue to read as I ponder more over the person.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

But, do we really know if she has an MIT background or just going by what she tells us?

I am always wary of someone that asks so many questions and is somewhat evasive in giving their own answers to questions others give back.

I shall just kick back and continue to read as I ponder more over the person.

I don't know if she has a degree, went to MIT, has a girlfriend named Amanda, plays for The Militia, has a car, dog or life.

I know she claims to have a lot of the above things, I can't disprove it. I am a bit disconcerted that these things are being questioned yet.... yet when a new Daddy/Dom/Top/Master rolls into town they're NOT.

I'd be more alarmed with the above than a 20 something MIT graduate talking about butch stuff.

[Toughy]

If she explained why she doesn't bind in another thread it would be nice to read that.........would have been entirely logical to start the thread with that post....and I would think logic would be an innate trait in a brain of MIT caliber..

I am always suspicious of anyone who asks tons of questions, asks folks to share and will NOT give of herself or answer direct or clarification questions.

The flouncy part just made me laugh....I was wondering WHEN it would happen....

[The_Lady_Snow]

Steph for future flounces see The TOS:

"I'm Leaving Forever!" posts - Any post or action designed to garner attention where you threaten to leave the site.



<- This public service announcement was brought to you by the letters:


Jj




Ll

and the number 9 DAYS TILL LITTLE ROCK!


Good Luck!

[*Anya*]

This might be obvious but no one is forcing anyone to answer her questions!

One thing I really like about the Planet, regardless if anyone is confrontive of a new person or pins them down for an answer or not; if they are not legitimate, sooner or later, they depart as mysteriously as they appeared!

I have seen it happen many time during my short tenure here.

Just say no ( thanks Mrs. B) and move on to the next thread, if you do not want to answer or if it does not feel right.

If someone is legitimate, hopefully, they will not feel too beat up and will stick around.

I used to ask a lot of questions about trans folks. Not because I was a troll but because I genuinely did not know. As we say in nursing: I had a knowlege deficit!

It was not transphobia but I sure was batted about for a bit (figuritively) and I almost left and thought about not returning.

I am glad that I did because I did receive the education that I so sorely needed.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I think what pisses people off is the vague untruths and that Steph doesn't engage when asked a question unless she wants to.

She has that right, she isn't causing harm and unless she's passive aggressively directing something at someone,and they call her out then she can't. Until then she can continue on her merry way having the choice to engage with whomever she pleases.

Like I said earlier, if she triggers you (general) don't engage, it's that simple!

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

This might be obvious but no one is forcing anyone to answer her questions!

One thing I really like about the Planet, regardless if anyone is confrontive of a new person or pins them down for an answer or not; if they are not legitimate, sooner or later, they depart as mysteriously as they appeared!

I have seen it happen many time during my short tenure here.

Just say no ( thanks Mrs. B) and move on to the next thread, if you do not want to answer or if it does not feel right.

If someone is legitimate, hopefully, they will not feel too beat up and will stick around.

I used to ask a lot of questions about trans folks. Not because I was a troll but because I genuinely did not know. As we say in nursing: I had a knowlege deficit!

It was not transphobia but I sure was batted about for a bit (figuritively) and I almost left and thought about not returning.

I am glad that I did because I did receive the education that I so sorely
needed.

Anya, (on bended knee) will you marry me?

[Words]

Official research doesn't bother me as much as the thought of someone getting their jollies by asking questions that bear no relevance whatsoever to their life/their experience. Sorry steph, but this is a bit like me coming in and asking whether big breasted femmes have trouble finding extra large bras when I'm a modest 36B and have no desire to increase my bust size.

I'm really not trying to silence you and I'm trying to be as tactful as possible but in your enthusiasm to facilitate conversation, do you not ever stop to think about the way in which your question will be perceived?

Words

[jac]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Well that's what I thought, but steph said she's not had any gender studies classes. The topics are definitely loaded and not only has good convos happened but damn some ugly shits been said as well all in the name of opinion.

I'm curious as to how stephs real time experiences with butches are.

I find it interesting to be asking such intense questions of the community if not for curiosity of her own accord or for information gathering.... I would like to think that if these questions and answers are being used for anything other than her own personal curiosity and questioning within herself, that Steph has enough integrity and professional ethics to give fair knowledge to those of us participating. Not saying this is the case... but I won't say it hasn't crossed my mind. Exploitation is a serious offense...

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Well that's what I thought, but steph said she's not had any gender studies classes. The topics are definitely loaded and not only has good convos happened but damn some ugly shits been said as well all in the name of opinion.

I'm curious as to how stephs real time experiences with butches are.

I'm curious as to how stephs real time experiences in journalism may be coming along. What a great research pool.

are we not readng between the lines and titles? We should.

[Martina]

I feel like Words does here. THere has been precious little sharing on Steph's part, but a lot of us have ponied up some intense things (that's on us).

I am assuming some naivete on her part. For one thing, she does not know the divisions in our community that some of these topics bring up.

Weatherboi's post rang true for me that some of the topics are worded in a way to get woman ID'd folks to bring up some stuff that is potentially divisive. That's fine if it's a thread started out of a need from part of a community. If it's just curiousity, and that curiosity is not naive, then yuck. If it is naive, I guess it's on us not to wander in and expose our souls. I certainly did on one thread.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Martina

I feel like Words does here. THere has been precious little sharing on Steph's part, but a lot of us have ponied up some intense things (that's on us).

I am assuming some naivete on her part. For one thing, she does not know the divisions in our community that some of these topics bring up.

Weatherboi's post rang true for me that some of the topics are worded in a way to get woman ID'd folks bring up some stuff that is potentially divisive. That's fine if it's a thread started out of a need from part of a community. If it's just curiousity, and that curiosity is not naive, then yuck. If it is naive, I guess it's on us not to wander in and expose our souls. I certainly did on one thread.

So agree with this!!! I really still hold out hope that Steph is just a newby and testing the waters, so to speak, learning the ropes. It appears to me that when an idea comes up in another thread, she starts one about that topic. I've seen her do this a lot. Seems to be very perceptive of how others feel and think. Her reasoning why i wouldn't try to guess. I also agree that she does not divulge much of herself. But, that is certainly her prerogative.

I guess bottom line is...respond to her or don't.

It's her choice to start new threads on any idea/ideal or reason she wants within the guidelines of the TOS, it is our choice to respond or not.

Take it or leave it....is how i see it.

[stephfromMIT]

Sorry if I'm upsetting everybody! NOT my intention. I'm not writing a book. I guess I'll just keep things to myself from now on.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Sorry if I'm upsetting everybody! NOT my intention. I'm not writing a book. I guess I'll just keep things to myself from now on.

Please don't feel that way.

I'm not speaking for everyone, but from some peeps....

"We" are nice i promise. "We" have just been around the block and sometimes our radar goes up and we question motive, intent. Many times it is true people are not who they seem. BUT not always.

We need new people around here. We won't gobble you up long. Consider it your initiation period of sorts.

Hang in there please. Just be as open as you want to be and mostly...honest...that's all anyone could ask for.

I hope you stay.

[Sparkle]

I don't know stephfromMIT, so I can't speak to her intentions but reading the first post it seems as though she's stated the question, the rationale for asking it and her experience in the first sentence: binding came up in another thread, let's talk about it, and she goes on to say that she does not bind and why.

I don't know that anyone has the right to expect she should be baring her soul on this topic or any other. She expressed her experience and opened up a conversation.

AND like weatherboi, I have read the titles of the past two threads about butches who do not bind, or pack and I, too, have cringed.

My first reaction was "oh christ, here we go" And when I step back and examine my reaction objectively I know I cringe and roll my eyes because I (like most of us who have been around here and b-f.) know what kind of ugly butch- butcher- butchest nonsense is likely to rear its nasty head. Because, I, like many of you, know historically that divisiveness and negativity reign when these topics are raised.

I don't know if stephfromMIT knows that or not. I don't know if she's been around long enough to have witnessed it. I don't know if her intention was to stir the pot. AND Nor do you (general you).

The conjecture regarding her intentions and veracity, the assumption she's stirring a pot IS in and of itself - pot stirring.

If the intention of the OP isn't clear - ask a direct question.

I actually think reading between the lines on a public forum is a dodgy business, i think it leads to all sorts of miscommunication and reaction. And I think we've come to that conclusion 8 gazillion and 1 times.

I believe in clear, concise and direct communication - not presumption.

And if your hackles go up, if you've got a bad feeling, if you have read between the lines and don't like what you've seen - leave it be, ignore the thread, don't participate, block the OP or the posters if you feel really strongly. Because conjecture is not fact. And the invisible intent found between the lines is not a reliable source.

If a conversation becomes ugly and negative it is solely the responsibility of the people who contribute to it. We bring our stuff to each thread we engage in, we are responsible for it. Not the OP. Not the person who said something that offended me/you/him/her. Not the site owners. Or the moderators who did or didn't intervene. Not the poster's partner. Or his ex girlfriends 'cats' foster mom. :P

We are responsible for ourselves and our words.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Sorry if I'm upsetting everybody! NOT my intention. I'm not writing a book. I guess I'll just keep things to myself from now on.

I don't mind your threads.. I'm truly interested about how you and your buds discuss and feel about butch issues!