Changing last names

[~ocean]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Amanda and I were in bed the other night. She was lazily stroking my pit hair and said,"Hun, I've been thinking." I got scared, and she smiled,"Baby, don't worry, we're still getting married." I calmed down and asked,"Then what is it?" She told me,"When we get married, I'm taking your last name." I smiled,"Amanda Thompson does sound nice."

So, did/will you or your SO change their last name if/when you marry/have commitment ceremony?

I am legally married to my ex> we have since broken up .. I did take her name . after 17 yrs of only having a commitment ceremony it seemed befitting at the time. lol stroking ur pit hair .. details that r private yes ?

[Nomad]

my last name came from the person who adopted me when i was a child. that adoption saved my life so, no i wouldnt change it. (not that it's much of an issue in my life! )

[yotlyolqualli]

Changing names lol

My family, and friends from my childhood, call me Missy. Besides ruddebegga, my mother's "pet" name for me lol, I was only ever Missy (or Malissa Jane!! when Mother was ticked at me lol). As I started to have nieces and nephews, I became Aunt Missy. After I turned 18, to me, Missy sounded as "babyish" as Johnny would to John or Andy would to Andrew... so I TRIED to get people to call me "Malissa", my given name.

They just didn't get it LOL

So, when I realized I was gay, at the age of 30, I came out, in a rather big way... and all in one fell swoop. As my circle of friends grew and my "chosen" family began, I began introducing myself as Lissa, shortened from Malissa.

One of my sisters really struggled HARD with that! She said, "Mom called you Missy, she would be upset that you would change that." I asked... soooo, she called you Susie and now everyone calls you Sue...??" That, apparently, was different LOL. She came around. None of my "given" family call me Lissa, I am still Missy, Aunt Missy and even Grandma Missy, but they have accepted, fully, that my expanded circle of friends and chosen family, call me Lissa.

Having said that... my last name, which is special to me, would be hard to let go of. However, given the way I was raised, what I believe and how I feel about it, I would gladly take the last name of the person I would share my life with. Not because I would feel "owned' nor that I "belonged to" but because it would, in me, evoke a feeling of "belonging WITH".

Just my long winded 2 cents worth...

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by Nomad

my last name came from the person who adopted me when i was a child. that adoption saved my life so, no i wouldnt change it. (not that it's much of an issue in my life! )

I can relate to this so much. My dad adopted me, and his decision to do that forever altered the course of my life for the better. It would take a lot for me to part with my last name. Plus, I'm a big fan of alliteration, and it sounds nice paired with my first name.

That being said, I don't see harm in taking a last name. When you marry, you create a family, whether or not there are children involved. And it's nice when that family shares something like a name. But it's a personal choice thing.

I think celebs have it best. They use one name professionally and one personally. That sounds like the most attractive option to me.

Marriage is a long way off for me; I still have an empire to build