Friends of Bill W.

Dance-with-me · 09-19-2012, 09:57 AM

Hi, I'm Dance, and I'm an enabler. Not a Friend of Bill's in the classic sense, but started attending Nar-anon thinking that my junkie step-daughter was the source of all my problems and finally learned that the problem was me -- and not that I was even enabling her, but that I'd spent 11 years enabling my ex/her mom to make my step-d's addiction the the only thing that mattered. I am a completely changed person now that I'm learning that I cannot fix or control anyone else's addiction - whether that be an addiction to drugs or an addiction to fixing an addict no matter what the price or consequences. I'm also addressing my own addiction to fixing damaged people. And I have to say that it's a HUGE relief after a lifetime of being the Fixer to be able to really see that it's not my job to fix or save anyone.

09-19-2012, 09:57 AM	#11
Dance-with-me Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: earth Posts: 419 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 264 Thanked 1,926 Times in 378 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Hi, I'm Dance, and I'm an enabler. Not a Friend of Bill's in the classic sense, but started attending Nar-anon thinking that my junkie step-daughter was the source of all my problems and finally learned that the problem was me -- and not that I was even enabling her, but that I'd spent 11 years enabling my ex/her mom to make my step-d's addiction the the only thing that mattered. I am a completely changed person now that I'm learning that I cannot fix or control anyone else's addiction - whether that be an addiction to drugs or an addiction to fixing an addict no matter what the price or consequences. I'm also addressing my own addiction to fixing damaged people. And I have to say that it's a HUGE relief after a lifetime of being the Fixer to be able to really see that it's not my job to fix or save anyone.