Trans Appreciation

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

A little offered help from a guy that can be hot headed and does get offended about pronoun use. First I agree it is hard here on a computer screen and always trying to be politically correct and just not knowing depending on the threads and the person but the biggest clue even for me is spelling. I mean if I see a post in any thread and I see "hy" in reference to themselves they do not ID as trans. Now if I see "he" or any form it screams at me that person is male in some form. I think it just takes picking up on the little clues we leave. I will go out of my way when typing and addressing this person to use their chosen pronoun including "she". Now do I make mistake sure who cant especially in the heat of the moment or trying to get "your" point across. I find though it becomes habit even for me when addressing the person in a post or other written form.

Do I get upset when I see "hy" when referred to me by others? Yes and No. No if that person does not know me. No if that person is getting to know me and it is a slip (that I do gently correct). Yes if this person knows me. Yes if this person has been told more then once. Yes if I am having a bad day.

Will I loose my temper yup I will admit I will. However I will not dress down or try not to dress down anyone for an honest mistake. You should see the look on a persons first when the call me "mama' or "her" in public and I do the deepest voice I can and say I think you meant "Sir" in a very calm voice. The look is priceless.
In our community though the anger is just easier to tap into sometimes. More along the fuck why don't you of all people "get it" feeling.
Now the folders on this site do help but you know what I have to admit that I will see a name of a thread on the front page and not pay attention to what category it comes from and make an idiot out of myself. So it must really be hard for others depending on "their" intent behind the post.
The biggest compliment and appreciation any femme, butch, queer, simply anyone can give me is ask me how I would like to be addressed and make it a habit to do so everywhere.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by AlixKnight4All

A little offered help from a guy that can be hot headed and does get offended about pronoun use. First I agree it is hard here on a computer screen and always trying to be politically correct and just not knowing depending on the threads and the person but the biggest clue even for me is spelling.

Or the person could simply use the pronoun box. That really quite a simple way to make sure you get called by your correct pronoun.


I mean if I see a post in any thread and I see "hy" in reference to themselves they do not ID as trans.

I define as transgendered (not transexual), and my pronoun is hy


Now if I see "he" or any form it screams at me that person is male in some form. I think it just takes picking up on the little clues we leave. I will go out of my way when typing and addressing this person to use their chosen pronoun including "she". Now do I make mistake sure who cant especially in the heat of the moment or trying to get "your" point across. I find though it becomes habit even for me when addressing the person in a post or other written form.

Do I get upset when I see "hy" when referred to me by others? Yes and No. No if that person does not know me. No if that person is getting to know me and it is a slip (that I do gently correct). Yes if this person knows me. Yes if this person has been told more then once. Yes if I am having a bad day.

Will I loose my temper yup I will admit I will. However I will not dress down or try not to dress down anyone for an honest mistake. You should see the look on a persons first when the call me "mama' or "her" in public and I do the deepest voice I can and say I think you meant "Sir" in a very calm voice. The look is priceless.

I think that if are biologically one sex and define as another, we need to give people a break. Even if a person is on hormones, you cannot always tell the sex they identify as.



In our community though the anger is just easier to tap into sometimes. More along the fuck why don't you of all people "get it" feeling.
Now the folders on this site do help but you know what I have to admit that I will see a name of a thread on the front page and not pay attention to what category it comes from and make an idiot out of myself. So it must really be hard for others depending on "their" intent behind the post.
The biggest compliment and appreciation any femme, butch, queer, simply anyone can give me is ask me how I would like to be addressed and make it a habit to do so everywhere.

---------------

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Dapper
I agree with you completely. My post is actually out of order and not is response to the current topic. Sometimes I truly do take to long to write my posts *laughs*.
Mine was in response to posts I now know I should have quoted. Again my mistake. I was just offering clues that may help here and else where not this thread.

To be clear when I see hy I do not assume male and I do not assume not male. What I do assume is I should use it with that person until I know them or I ask.
In most threads it is just simpler not to use pronouns period accept foe me and I.
But as always thank you for your response you always make me think.

[Martina]

I have noticed a lot of coercive behavior from femmes of the type Toughy mentioned: refusing to address a butch with female pronouns is an example.

But I have also seen femmes take a disproportionate amount of abuse -- being yelled at, for example -- for making errors with pronouns or failing to acknowledge someone's gender correctly.

I guess it is more offensive somehow coming from a femme. I don't know. I don't care.

There is no excuse for yelling at anyone about this. None. If you are hurt, let the person know. Yelling and screaming is not OK.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by AlixKnight4All

Dapper
I agree with you completely. My post is actually out of order and not is response to the current topic. Sometimes I truly do take to long to write my posts *laughs*.
Mine was in response to posts I now know I should have quoted. Again my mistake. I was just offering clues that may help here and else where not this thread.

To be clear when I see hy I do not assume male and I do not assume not male. What I do assume is I should use it with that person until I know them or I ask.
In most threads it is just simpler not to use pronouns period accept foe me and I.
But as always thank you for your response you always make me think.

No need to apologize, I was just presenting my opinion/information about myself.

[Tony]

Well, so much to read & I have so much to say but in my stupid smart phone, my typing gets tedious. Please bear with me. I have learned so much, & continue to learn from this site. I've lived a stealth life since my late teens as a TransSEXUAL. The term "trans", when I was younger only meant transsexual. The "born in the wrong body" thing. Now I understand it to encompass many more chosen ID's. I think this is where some confusion comes from. Bottom line, for me, is it's all about respect. I personally have problems with pronouns, but they only happen on sites like this, & once I've corrected or informed someone, it's been fine. As someone mentioned earlier, when in doubt, ask. And your profile does give the opportunity to let people know your personal wishes.
Hope I came off ok. Lol
Just my .02

[weatherboi]

From my perspective I agree with Toughy and Bulldog.

I am a pre op trans man and continually get lumped into a butch category of some kind by femmes, my transgender community (men and women alike), gay men, and other people that tend to be gender binary guardians.

In all my years of knowing that I am a man born to a female body did I ever encounter this till the late 90's online. I have watched this particular behavior carry over into the world we all walk in together socially. When I have this experience, it has been for many different reasons all particular to each offender and something I can never get the full understanding of because I am not them. Sometimes I correct people and sometimes I don't. It all just depends what space i am in and why I think they are doing it and sometimes continue to do it. Understand, I am talking about people that pretty much know me and know that I am a man born to a female body.

Transgender has no hierarchy regardless of body modification or not, regardless of T or not, for me being born in the wrong body starts in the mind and ends in the mind. The physical transition is a plus and a privilege for some, or not, and others it will never be an option and can be a burden, or not.

For me, feminine and masculine are the continuum, and genders are the constant in a giant universe of fluidity, because presentations vary sooooo much, and then sometimes they don't, creating norms and stereotypes.