Help me write this - discussion of gender dynamics in lesbian community

[Soon]

Originally Posted by Martina

I was wearing more make-up and jewelry back then, and she wanted me to not wear it because it didn't please her. That was entirely fair given our connection. BUT it didn't please her because she thought of femininity as pandering to men, as something shameful. A proud woman, in her mind, did not need that stuff. It's hard to educate from below, and I am not sure I did. That relationship did not last long.

I was told this *exact* same thing by my second queer partner. I thought she would LIKE when I dolled it up a bit. Um, not so much. I was floored when she put a baseball cap and one of her oversize flannel shirts (I am not shitting you) and and proceeded to tell me hot I looked.

I *thought* b/c she was more on the andro/masc. side, she would appreciate my more traditional markers of femininity. I had NO idea (based on my limited experience), that she was, in fact, turned off when I did my hair, put on makeup and wore skirts/dresses/heels etc.

Didn't last long, either.

Btw, I totally GET what this thread is about and the OP's need for community as well as, perhaps, for discussion in regards to gender and butch/femme topics in some lesbian circles.

ETA: God, I wish these discussions would happen in the straight community, too. The word "butch" is perceived as an ugly, insult by many.