Returning Home - how to reconnect

imperfect_cupcake · 09-23-2012, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elishat

I've lived in Japan for the last 5 years and am planning on moving back to the states next year. Reverse Culture Shock is going to hit me very hard too, I know it. I'm used to, and quite like, Japanese culture now, which is very different then the US, plus I am completely bilingual. So I know adjusting will be miserable.

A couple of things, first, I focus on my hobbies. Before I change countries (I have moved back and forth before) I look for a horse barn in my new area. I am an avid horse rider. One of the first things I do after moving is start riding again. First of all it gives me something to look forward to, second, instant friends. People with things in common always have something to talk about. This goes for any hobbies/sports. Like knitting/crochet? find a knitting circle. Like soccer? find an adult soccer team.

Second focus on the positives about going home. Seeing my family, food that I can't find in rural northern Japan, and dating, are the things I am looking forward to. I am going to miss Japan something fierce but I also have many things I am looking forward too.

Lastly realize that, no matter what, you are going to miss the home you leave behind. Keep in touch with your friends there as much as you can, they will help keep you grounded too!

Good luck with the move!!

oh it's a dream of mine to travel in japan!!! I love so much of japanese culture.

I started zazen a little while ago and find it's been helping me adjust to all the massive upheval that I've been dealing with. So, yes, I think that's a very good idea. I've been looking for soto dojos in vancouver, I went on OKCupid and POF to see who's around for dating and it seems to be MUCH easier than dating here (people actually date. the dating ritual here makes me mental as it was one of those things I just don't understand and couldn't adapt to thus most of my partners have been non-english or from oop north) but the one thing that attracts me to people is caustic humour and vancouver people are very polite and nice at first so I feel I have to rumple them up a little bit to get them to relax enough to know that it's ok to piss take.

I am looking forward to seeing some of my old friends and doing things I haven't done in almost 10 years. Some of those points are quite good, so I appreciate that. Keeping myself focused and connected to activities I do where ever I am will help. I am incredibly thankful for skype as I will be able to communicate with people anywhere. I do find it odd that not as many people as I thought use it.

I will also be looking for a writers group and perhaps archery. I would love to get back into horse back riding again. Ideally I'd love to combine archery with horseback!

But I have school starting in Jan and I'm sure between running, zazan, dating, friends and school, I think I won't have much time for much else. I used to play bass, paint, do silver sauder, uni, date and run in my 20's. how I managed to do that I have no idea.

Thankyou LK mapping this out is helping.

PS I always dreamed of living in rural japan for a little bit. I know I know next to nothing about it, but "Satoyama: Japans secret water gardens" is one of my all time favourite docus and would love to live it for a bit.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1XNxc3CwSM"]Satoyama I Japans Secret Watergarden 720p (Documentary) - YouTube[/nomedia]

The_Lady_Snow · 09-23-2012, 11:19 AM

For Snow this means:

HB moves to Canada---->HB gets passport-----> HB comes to BFP Reunion = WELCOME TO CANADA!!! I support you!

Martina · 09-23-2012, 12:57 PM

I know. I too thought HB on the same continent! Even on the same coast. How cool is that?!!!

Kätzchen · 09-23-2012, 01:22 PM

That's so nice HoneyBarbara that you're coming back home to the Vancouver, BC area and that you at least have your extended network of friends, school, dating and activities to help buffer the tremendous challenges you anticipate during the up and coming transition of relocation. Will you be teaching cultural anthropology?

It sounds to me like you're making all the right moves in preparing for what comes next. I really like your idea of blogging the whole process. Reverse culture shock and reflecting on all the items of change one seems to face in a new enviroment, especially since there's the time span of ten years change or better, seems like a really good way to map your process and be able to have something tangible to work with and maybe even be a bit like a coping tool of sorts.

I am excited for you!

ps/ horseback riding and archery = best time ever!

Sparkle · 09-23-2012, 01:33 PM

I was in Blighty for 6 years. And now I've been back in the States for nearly 8.

The re-entry was REALLY hard.

And there wasn't much to be done about it. The missing was (and sometimes still is) painful. I felt "off" for a couple of years. Everything had changed, especially me. I felt restless and sad and kind of empty the first year. But most of the culture shock itself dissipated within a year.

I still feel overwhelmed by the size of things, sometimes... portions at restaurants, ginormous grocery stores and parking lots and SUVs

Things that helped:

*reconnecting with old friends, renewing and deepening those relationships, helped a lot.

*keeping busy - especially in the first year. I made dinner plans with friends a couple of nights a week and tried to always make plans for the weekends.

*learning to appreciate the quiet and the alone time, this took me a few years, now I wonder how I survived with so little of it before.

*making plans for mini-trips to new places, and to see other "old" friends-- one of the things I've missed the most (aside from my people) was how relatively inexpensive, easy and common traveling is in Europe. Travel/airfare is really expensive here, so I was grateful that I traveled a lot for business because I was able to maintain that feeling of excitement and curiosity about discovering somewhere new.

*I had to tune out politically for awhile (I came back a week before "W" was re-elected in late 2004.)

And I can't really stomach the media/news here. I still get most of my news online from the guardian, the independent or bbc.

*Reading books, listening to music, watching shows/films that are British (or that reminded me of my time abroad) was helpful too. Especially when I had a day that I felt really foreign.

09-23-2012, 03:16 PM

North western Britlandian here, volunteering for stand-in Brit Duty should it ever be required

imperfect_cupcake · 09-24-2012, 06:19 PM

Thank you Sparkle, I tried replying earlier but the net ate my post.

I will take all of those suggestions to head. I really am very glad to see people posting me their experiences cause it really does help.

And Daktari! fantastic. where abouts are you? are you in western canada or the PNW?

Ginger · 09-24-2012, 06:24 PM

Congratulations, on making this exciting change!

09-23-2012, 11:19 AM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474875	Selfish Snow For Snow this means: HB moves to Canada---->HB gets passport-----> HB comes to BFP Reunion = WELCOME TO CANADA!!! I support you! __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

09-23-2012, 01:33 PM	#5
Sparkle Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please Relationship Status: Loved Up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Western MA Posts: 2,183 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,001 Thanked 6,551 Times in 1,552 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I was in Blighty for 6 years. And now I've been back in the States for nearly 8. The re-entry was REALLY hard. And there wasn't much to be done about it. The missing was (and sometimes still is) painful. I felt "off" for a couple of years. Everything had changed, especially me. I felt restless and sad and kind of empty the first year. But most of the culture shock itself dissipated within a year. I still feel overwhelmed by the size of things, sometimes... portions at restaurants, ginormous grocery stores and parking lots and SUVs Things that helped: reconnecting with old friends, renewing and deepening those relationships, helped a lot. keeping busy - especially in the first year. I made dinner plans with friends a couple of nights a week and tried to always make plans for the weekends. learning to appreciate the quiet and the alone time, this took me a few years, now I wonder how I survived with so little of it before. making plans for mini-trips to new places, and to see other "old" friends-- one of the things I've missed the most (aside from my people) was how relatively inexpensive, easy and common traveling is in Europe. Travel/airfare is really expensive here, so I was grateful that I traveled a lot for business because I was able to maintain that feeling of excitement and curiosity about discovering somewhere new. I had to tune out politically for awhile (I came back a week before "W" was re-elected in late 2004.) And I can't really stomach the media/news here. I still get most of my news online from the guardian, the independent or bbc. Reading books, listening to music, watching shows/films that are British (or that reminded me of my time abroad) was helpful too. Especially when I had a day that I felt really foreign. __________________ I am made of stars

09-23-2012, 12:57 PM	#3
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I know. I too thought HB on the same continent! Even on the same coast. How cool is that?!!!

09-23-2012, 01:22 PM	#4
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: As a very feminine woman. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Sailing in a wooden shoe with Wynken, Blinkyn, and Nod. Posts: 16,254 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 33,631 Times in 10,723 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	That's so nice HoneyBarbara that you're coming back home to the Vancouver, BC area and that you at least have your extended network of friends, school, dating and activities to help buffer the tremendous challenges you anticipate during the up and coming transition of relocation. Will you be teaching cultural anthropology? It sounds to me like you're making all the right moves in preparing for what comes next. I really like your idea of blogging the whole process. Reverse culture shock and reflecting on all the items of change one seems to face in a new enviroment, especially since there's the time span of ten years change or better, seems like a really good way to map your process and be able to have something tangible to work with and maybe even be a bit like a coping tool of sorts. I am excited for you! ps/ horseback riding and archery = best time ever!

09-23-2012, 03:16 PM	#6
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	North western Britlandian here, volunteering for stand-in Brit Duty should it ever be required

09-24-2012, 06:19 PM	#7
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thank you Sparkle, I tried replying earlier but the net ate my post. I will take all of those suggestions to head. I really am very glad to see people posting me their experiences cause it really does help. And Daktari! fantastic. where abouts are you? are you in western canada or the PNW?

09-24-2012, 06:24 PM	#8
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Congratulations, on making this exciting change!