Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

Rockinonahigh · 09-27-2012, 03:43 PM

Once I was told by someone they couldnt see a short butch being sexy,she was 6 ft in bare feet next to my 5' 4" in shoes.All I can say if thats how some folks feel,to bad they missed the boat.

Scuba · 09-27-2012, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Once I was told by someone they couldnt see a short butch being sexy,she was 6 ft in bare feet next to my 5' 4" in shoes.All I can say if thats how some folks feel,to bad they missed the boat.

Word

Rockinonahigh · 09-27-2012, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuba

Word

Beleave me she wished she hadnt said that,I was a wolf on the prowl that night and had all kinds of sweet ladies on my arm as well as the dance floor...if ya got it rock it..no pun intended.

Nomad · 09-27-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Once I was told by someone they couldnt see a short butch being sexy,she was 6 ft in bare feet next to my 5' 4" in shoes.All I can say if thats how some folks feel,to bad they missed the boat.

that is so assinine. the person who rocks my world as the best lover of all time is several inches shorter than i am. i'm also hella tits and ass and tend to outweigh the people i date if they happen to be shorter than i am. i constantly smiled at the people i could see comparing us physically because they always ended up looking at my lover with a "damn you must be some hot shit to be able to handle her" look on their faces. it made me oddly proud. (and they were right....hot shit indeed)

MissItalianDiva · 10-16-2012, 04:58 PM

Hmm great topic. For me I would love to say that physical attraction is not important but I would be lying. Of course the first initial attraction is typically physical for me but with time what will hold my attraction is intellectual stimulation and emotional maturity.

I found the hard way that while looks are a great quality if a person does not possess the emotional or mental/intellectually qualities I value and need then they don't look so physically attractive any longer. Same goes on the flip side. I have met folks who I was not initially physically attracted to but as time progressed and I got to know them and we connected on an intellectual level they became very physically attractive to me.

I can't say one outweighs another for me but I can say it needs to be balanced in order for my attraction to remain. I am one of those people that once I see something that is unattractive I am immediately not interested. Perhaps it is not fair but it is the way I am.

not2shygrrl · 10-16-2012, 06:03 PM

What is attractive to me is their energy. The zap I get when someone enters a room, be it in person or even in chat. This works both ways, positive as well as negative. I am however human and physical attraction does have a part, but definitely lower on the scale. Things such as how she speaks, choices of words, tone, what she does not say is equally important. Without having a direct window into her inner self, there are attractions I feel from her just being her. Be that she is in a tool belt...or tu-tu. Although if I were to say observations of her are a huge factor, those observations have nary a thing to do with what she looks like. It has everything to do with her emotions and how she manages them. Her energy.........will make me *swoon* so c'mon.......zap me Baby!!

FeminineAllure · 10-16-2012, 08:01 PM

It is ALL about a strong foundation.
You can attract me by your looks in a head turn but inside over time become ugly.
If we share a friendship first. Then a foundation that includes communication, trust, respect, loyality... and a spiritual connection, it is likely to become a lasting attraction.
The entire package.

Darbonaire · 10-17-2012, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeminineAllure

It is ALL about a strong foundation.
You can attract me by your looks in a head turn but inside over time become ugly.
If we share a friendship first. Then a foundation that includes communication, trust, respect, loyality... and a spiritual connection, it is likely to become a lasting attraction.
The entire package.

Absolutely..the entire package...& that takes time to truly "see" & appreciate...or not.....great post Allure.....as always..<smile>....

Nomad · 10-17-2012, 12:18 PM

you know, i'm just not turned on by looks. oh sure, a brief well hello there (fan)moment over a celeb or something from time to time but it doesnt bunch my panties on even a superficial personal level. now if someone is intelligent and funny and has that naturally dominant toppish energy that makes them cocky and charming and flirtatious then my knickers get twisted. confidence is sexy to the Nth degree and i hate --- also to the Nth degree --- when someone fakes it and i find out later that they dont really own it and they cant really bring it and they've been looking to me as their source for ego. i want the A-game, all day, every day, easy breezy beautiful because i'm worth it --- again, to the Nth degree i'm worth it, and i'm ready to prove it if you can prove that you can handle me and i'm a damn handful so put on your fireproof boxers. yes you can have an off day. yes you can ask my opinion, my advice, for my support and to be left off a pedestal. but if you're doing the role rather than being the person i'm vehemently not interested so dont pretend and dont medicate your lack of self esteem with me. i fall all over the place for natural authority. quiet, balanced, thoughtful, firm, not forced, unpretentious, still able to laugh at yourself, generous authority. i'm proverbially verklempt over it and you either have it with me or you dont. no insult, no fuss, no muss, it's just there or it isnt. i've been known to gravitate toward it in friends and acquaintance from time to time and even have a couple of role models on the Planet that embody that energy to the core. call it chemistry if you like. all i know is when you have it, i begin to think of you as You. i like that in my life. i like it a lot.

Gráinne · 10-18-2012, 08:26 AM

And the $64,000 question...Why do we feel attraction for someone in the first place? And why does it so often go against our "type"?

I mean, take this thread and somewhere, there's a "love list" thread, in which myself and other people have tried to describe ideal partners and the "type" we say we're attracted to. But many, if not most, of us have been fixed up with someone who seemed to have everything on the list and on paper, sounded perfect...but there's no chemistry, no "heat" when you meet. You know what I'm talking about.

And the opposite is true, and chemistry makes a sneak attack, unexpected. Sometimes, that person is a big flapping red flag with feet, and sometimes it really does turn out that they have the qualities which you seek. I personally believe "heat" is obviously a lot of fun, but real compatibility takes time to ferret out.

But that's the maddening part. Wouldn't it save a lot of grief and time if we only felt chemistry with someone suitable? But we're complex people and life just isn't that simple.

I suppose that's just a rhetorical question. We can list and list all we want, but sometimes it's a big mystery.

10-16-2012, 06:03 PM	#6
not2shygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: as a Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: under the cover of starry starry nights...enjoying a warm fire in the pit ! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: in a cabin in the woods Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,068 Thanked 2,454 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	blinded by the light........ What is attractive to me is their energy. The zap I get when someone enters a room, be it in person or even in chat. This works both ways, positive as well as negative. I am however human and physical attraction does have a part, but definitely lower on the scale. Things such as how she speaks, choices of words, tone, what she does not say is equally important. Without having a direct window into her inner self, there are attractions I feel from her just being her. Be that she is in a tool belt...or tu-tu. Although if I were to say observations of her are a huge factor, those observations have nary a thing to do with what she looks like. It has everything to do with her emotions and how she manages them. Her energy.........will make me swoon so c'mon.......zap me Baby!!

10-16-2012, 08:01 PM	#7
FeminineAllure Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 1,145 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,659 Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	For me... It is ALL about a strong foundation. You can attract me by your looks in a head turn but inside over time become ugly. If we share a friendship first. Then a foundation that includes communication, trust, respect, loyality... and a spiritual connection, it is likely to become a lasting attraction. The entire package. __________________ Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you

10-18-2012, 08:26 AM	#10
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,388 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	And the $64,000 question...Why do we feel attraction for someone in the first place? And why does it so often go against our "type"? I mean, take this thread and somewhere, there's a "love list" thread, in which myself and other people have tried to describe ideal partners and the "type" we say we're attracted to. But many, if not most, of us have been fixed up with someone who seemed to have everything on the list and on paper, sounded perfect...but there's no chemistry, no "heat" when you meet. You know what I'm talking about. And the opposite is true, and chemistry makes a sneak attack, unexpected. Sometimes, that person is a big flapping red flag with feet, and sometimes it really does turn out that they have the qualities which you seek. I personally believe "heat" is obviously a lot of fun, but real compatibility takes time to ferret out. But that's the maddening part. Wouldn't it save a lot of grief and time if we only felt chemistry with someone suitable? But we're complex people and life just isn't that simple. I suppose that's just a rhetorical question. We can list and list all we want, but sometimes it's a big mystery. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

09-27-2012, 03:43 PM	#1
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Once I was told by someone they couldnt see a short butch being sexy,she was 6 ft in bare feet next to my 5' 4" in shoes.All I can say if thats how some folks feel,to bad they missed the boat.

10-16-2012, 04:58 PM	#5
MissItalianDiva Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Miss Twiggy Preferred Pronoun?: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and that shit doesn't sound atrocious! Relationship Status: divorce happens..all that glitters ain't gold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SLC Utah Posts: 2,284 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,768 Thanked 7,159 Times in 1,793 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Hmm great topic. For me I would love to say that physical attraction is not important but I would be lying. Of course the first initial attraction is typically physical for me but with time what will hold my attraction is intellectual stimulation and emotional maturity. I found the hard way that while looks are a great quality if a person does not possess the emotional or mental/intellectually qualities I value and need then they don't look so physically attractive any longer. Same goes on the flip side. I have met folks who I was not initially physically attracted to but as time progressed and I got to know them and we connected on an intellectual level they became very physically attractive to me. I can't say one outweighs another for me but I can say it needs to be balanced in order for my attraction to remain. I am one of those people that once I see something that is unattractive I am immediately not interested. Perhaps it is not fair but it is the way I am.

10-17-2012, 12:18 PM	#9
Nomad Timed Out How Do You Identify?: stone femme Daddy's girl Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: disinterested Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in my head Posts: 991 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,848 Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 0	you know, i'm just not turned on by looks. oh sure, a brief well hello there (fan)moment over a celeb or something from time to time but it doesnt bunch my panties on even a superficial personal level. now if someone is intelligent and funny and has that naturally dominant toppish energy that makes them cocky and charming and flirtatious then my knickers get twisted. confidence is sexy to the Nth degree and i hate --- also to the Nth degree --- when someone fakes it and i find out later that they dont really own it and they cant really bring it and they've been looking to me as their source for ego. i want the A-game, all day, every day, easy breezy beautiful because i'm worth it --- again, to the Nth degree i'm worth it, and i'm ready to prove it if you can prove that you can handle me and i'm a damn handful so put on your fireproof boxers. yes you can have an off day. yes you can ask my opinion, my advice, for my support and to be left off a pedestal. but if you're doing the role rather than being the person i'm vehemently not interested so dont pretend and dont medicate your lack of self esteem with me. i fall all over the place for natural authority. quiet, balanced, thoughtful, firm, not forced, unpretentious, still able to laugh at yourself, generous authority. i'm proverbially verklempt over it and you either have it with me or you dont. no insult, no fuss, no muss, it's just there or it isnt. i've been known to gravitate toward it in friends and acquaintance from time to time and even have a couple of role models on the Planet that embody that energy to the core. call it chemistry if you like. all i know is when you have it, i begin to think of you as You. i like that in my life. i like it a lot.