How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

Bèsame* · 10-07-2012, 10:06 AM

all pink. Lace. Frilly.

meridiantoo · 03-12-2013, 11:38 PM

I think I adopted the femme identity label because it more closely fits than any other label. I'm not opposed to labels; I think they can tell you basic ideas of expression in a short time period. Specifically online where you have absence of other cues and experiences with people, you can get a decent jest of someone with a label. That's not to say we all fit our labels perfectly, though.

I am femme in that I love frills, girl-talk, and butches as my partners. I am not femme in that my sexual preference is not #1 on the overall list of who I am. I identify first and foremost as a women, followed by a Christian, then as a femme lesbian. I think there is a distinction between 'woman' and 'femme lesbian' for me. Woman, for me, means I am half a whole. I am by nature the yin of that half and what it encompasses, as well as endless possibilities as a human being. To say this does not mean a butch woman is not also a 'woman' in identity. She may or may not identify as her/she, but rather by hym/hy. The femme lesbian label is more constricting. It places me in an exclusively-defined role and character, which I do not always agree with nor accept.

When I bring this label into the GLBTQ community, I think my femme lesbian identity can also be constricting even among those I consider my peers as far as what people see in that label and the inferences they take from it. I think it's humorous at times and also frustrating.

I like this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it!

~baby~doll~ · 04-27-2013, 07:05 PM

When I first discovered my different nature compared to the rest of the world the only word I knew was queer but I kept that to myself. A year or so later I learned the word dyke and after that I learned lesbian.
What is my identity?
Third Gender Queer, Gynesexual/romantic, Demisexual, Polyamorous

and happy to be me.
I go by Queer it saves a lot of explaining over the terms that best describe me.

Happyfemme · 04-27-2013, 07:34 PM

I am very much femme for lots of reasons. I am very girly and when I am in a relationship it is with someone who identifies as butch or ftm.

DJ Bear · 04-28-2013, 07:50 PM

Male, 100%. I've know since I was little that my body was the wrong one, my mind just knew that. Unfortunately it has been a decades long road for me to identify as FTM. I'm finally living who I am now. It feels good, it feels real, it feels right.

imperfect_cupcake · 04-28-2013, 08:18 PM

heart = girlie girl
gender = femme and my other gender is woman
sex = female (I get very irritated when people confuse sex and gender)
sexual orientation = dyke/queer. I often call myself lesbian though I'm not formost vagina driven. dyke cock is the first, then vagina. but both enjoyed.

I was not born femme. I was born female then I learned that my characteristics that i grew into were tomboy. I loved girl clothes but had no desire to hang out with other girls at all.
It wasn't till I realised I was a dyke that my big huge drag queen little girl came out.
I was happy to meet her.
I've slowly let go of the tomboy in the past 10 years, of having to prove I'm "capable" - I don't have to be good at fixing things. I still love camping and snakes etc but I no longer feel I have to prove anything by doing all the repairs. And frankly, I don't want to do any cleaning either. I'm happy to pay other people to do it.

so perhaps I've gotten rather urban as well.

Girl_On_Fire · 04-28-2013, 09:27 PM

Queer Femme. When I first came out, I used to word "lesbian" but it just never seemed to fit me right. Then I started discovering my attraction to male-identified butches and trans guys and I went..."Oh." One of my closest friends told me there was a name for that: Queer Transensual Femme. I loved it. But recently I just shorted it to Queer Femme. I still use lesbian so others outside the B/F community can relate. Sometimes I loathe lengthy explanations.

wahya · 04-28-2013, 09:38 PM

I am Butch but also consider myself two spirited. I also have a couple of other titles I am fine with too. Mom, Ba Ba ( grandson's name for me) I look like a male but I think like a woman. I think that women by nature are more intelligent then men are.(my opinion) I am attracted to strong,smart & independent femmes. But in the bedroom I like to be in total control.

03-12-2013, 11:38 PM	#2
meridiantoo Member How Do You Identify?: A Speck in the Milky Way Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Monogamous relationship Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: The Milky Way Posts: 1,441 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,806 Thanked 2,300 Times in 890 Posts Rep Power: 16090855	How I self-identify I think I adopted the femme identity label because it more closely fits than any other label. I'm not opposed to labels; I think they can tell you basic ideas of expression in a short time period. Specifically online where you have absence of other cues and experiences with people, you can get a decent jest of someone with a label. That's not to say we all fit our labels perfectly, though. I am femme in that I love frills, girl-talk, and butches as my partners. I am not femme in that my sexual preference is not #1 on the overall list of who I am. I identify first and foremost as a women, followed by a Christian, then as a femme lesbian. I think there is a distinction between 'woman' and 'femme lesbian' for me. Woman, for me, means I am half a whole. I am by nature the yin of that half and what it encompasses, as well as endless possibilities as a human being. To say this does not mean a butch woman is not also a 'woman' in identity. She may or may not identify as her/she, but rather by hym/hy. The femme lesbian label is more constricting. It places me in an exclusively-defined role and character, which I do not always agree with nor accept. When I bring this label into the GLBTQ community, I think my femme lesbian identity can also be constricting even among those I consider my peers as far as what people see in that label and the inferences they take from it. I think it's humorous at times and also frustrating. I like this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it! __________________ “Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.” ― Wallace Stevens

04-27-2013, 07:05 PM	#3
~baby~doll~ Member How Do You Identify?: femme-bottom, lesbian, queer Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: Leather polyamorous family Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: with HER Posts: 1,110 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,494 Thanked 2,855 Times in 905 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	When I first discovered my different nature compared to the rest of the world the only word I knew was queer but I kept that to myself. A year or so later I learned the word dyke and after that I learned lesbian. What is my identity? Third Gender Queer, Gynesexual/romantic, Demisexual, Polyamorous and happy to be me. I go by Queer it saves a lot of explaining over the terms that best describe me. __________________ i will wait to love You. i will wait another day For You i'd leave all this behind. i will wait for you tonight. iwill waste another dream on You Always run to You. Uh Huh Her

04-28-2013, 07:50 PM	#5
DJ Bear Member How Do You Identify?: Daddy, Papa, just Me Preferred Pronoun?: he, him, sir, bro, hey you Relationship Status: Married to library_girl Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Illinois with my baby girl Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 553 Times in 138 Posts Rep Power: 8324585	Male, 100%. I've know since I was little that my body was the wrong one, my mind just knew that. Unfortunately it has been a decades long road for me to identify as FTM. I'm finally living who I am now. It feels good, it feels real, it feels right. __________________ “Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” Yoda

04-28-2013, 09:27 PM	#7
Girl_On_Fire Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her Relationship Status: On Hiatus Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Connecticut Posts: 690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,020 Thanked 2,683 Times in 562 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Queer Femme. When I first came out, I used to word "lesbian" but it just never seemed to fit me right. Then I started discovering my attraction to male-identified butches and trans guys and I went..."Oh." One of my closest friends told me there was a name for that: Queer Transensual Femme. I loved it. But recently I just shorted it to Queer Femme. I still use lesbian so others outside the B/F community can relate. Sometimes I loathe lengthy explanations. __________________ "Quit trying to reason with unreasonable people. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation with an end table." ~ Girl_On_Fire

10-07-2012, 10:06 AM	#1
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: ☀️☀️☀️ Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 14,834 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28,425 Thanked 39,694 Times in 10,258 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	all pink. Lace. Frilly. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

04-27-2013, 07:34 PM	#4
Happyfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Engaged Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: United States Posts: 1,666 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,303 Thanked 5,011 Times in 1,508 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	I am very much femme for lots of reasons. I am very girly and when I am in a relationship it is with someone who identifies as butch or ftm.

04-28-2013, 08:18 PM	#6
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,726 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	heart = girlie girl gender = femme and my other gender is woman sex = female (I get very irritated when people confuse sex and gender) sexual orientation = dyke/queer. I often call myself lesbian though I'm not formost vagina driven. dyke cock is the first, then vagina. but both enjoyed. I was not born femme. I was born female then I learned that my characteristics that i grew into were tomboy. I loved girl clothes but had no desire to hang out with other girls at all. It wasn't till I realised I was a dyke that my big huge drag queen little girl came out. I was happy to meet her. I've slowly let go of the tomboy in the past 10 years, of having to prove I'm "capable" - I don't have to be good at fixing things. I still love camping and snakes etc but I no longer feel I have to prove anything by doing all the repairs. And frankly, I don't want to do any cleaning either. I'm happy to pay other people to do it. so perhaps I've gotten rather urban as well.

04-28-2013, 09:38 PM	#8
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	I am Butch but also consider myself two spirited. I also have a couple of other titles I am fine with too. Mom, Ba Ba ( grandson's name for me) I look like a male but I think like a woman. I think that women by nature are more intelligent then men are.(my opinion) I am attracted to strong,smart & independent femmes. But in the bedroom I like to be in total control.