Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

Darbonaire · 10-17-2012, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeminineAllure

It is ALL about a strong foundation.
You can attract me by your looks in a head turn but inside over time become ugly.
If we share a friendship first. Then a foundation that includes communication, trust, respect, loyality... and a spiritual connection, it is likely to become a lasting attraction.
The entire package.

Absolutely..the entire package...& that takes time to truly "see" & appreciate...or not.....great post Allure.....as always..<smile>....

Nomad · 10-17-2012, 12:18 PM

you know, i'm just not turned on by looks. oh sure, a brief well hello there (fan)moment over a celeb or something from time to time but it doesnt bunch my panties on even a superficial personal level. now if someone is intelligent and funny and has that naturally dominant toppish energy that makes them cocky and charming and flirtatious then my knickers get twisted. confidence is sexy to the Nth degree and i hate --- also to the Nth degree --- when someone fakes it and i find out later that they dont really own it and they cant really bring it and they've been looking to me as their source for ego. i want the A-game, all day, every day, easy breezy beautiful because i'm worth it --- again, to the Nth degree i'm worth it, and i'm ready to prove it if you can prove that you can handle me and i'm a damn handful so put on your fireproof boxers. yes you can have an off day. yes you can ask my opinion, my advice, for my support and to be left off a pedestal. but if you're doing the role rather than being the person i'm vehemently not interested so dont pretend and dont medicate your lack of self esteem with me. i fall all over the place for natural authority. quiet, balanced, thoughtful, firm, not forced, unpretentious, still able to laugh at yourself, generous authority. i'm proverbially verklempt over it and you either have it with me or you dont. no insult, no fuss, no muss, it's just there or it isnt. i've been known to gravitate toward it in friends and acquaintance from time to time and even have a couple of role models on the Planet that embody that energy to the core. call it chemistry if you like. all i know is when you have it, i begin to think of you as You. i like that in my life. i like it a lot.

Gráinne · 10-18-2012, 08:26 AM

And the $64,000 question...Why do we feel attraction for someone in the first place? And why does it so often go against our "type"?

I mean, take this thread and somewhere, there's a "love list" thread, in which myself and other people have tried to describe ideal partners and the "type" we say we're attracted to. But many, if not most, of us have been fixed up with someone who seemed to have everything on the list and on paper, sounded perfect...but there's no chemistry, no "heat" when you meet. You know what I'm talking about.

And the opposite is true, and chemistry makes a sneak attack, unexpected. Sometimes, that person is a big flapping red flag with feet, and sometimes it really does turn out that they have the qualities which you seek. I personally believe "heat" is obviously a lot of fun, but real compatibility takes time to ferret out.

But that's the maddening part. Wouldn't it save a lot of grief and time if we only felt chemistry with someone suitable? But we're complex people and life just isn't that simple.

I suppose that's just a rhetorical question. We can list and list all we want, but sometimes it's a big mystery.

Duchess · 07-07-2014, 07:39 PM

I don't think it's shallow for attraction to begin with appearance. Reading the body language, are they well groomed, listening to them speak, etc...tells you so much about a person. It could possibly save you a lot of wasted time to simply observe a person when possible.

homoe · 04-20-2021, 02:09 PM

~~
My attraction has mostly been to femme women.

There have been rare cases when it was a butch! In one case, we met at a mutual friend's party, I think I was attracted to her because she was such a kind, caring, and thoughtful person, you know the kind of person who'd give you the shirt off their back if they thought you needed it more than them!

A romance never developed, but we got to be good friends. Then she left Milwaukee and moved to St Louis. I hadn't thought of her in ages until I came this thread.

Gemme · 04-20-2021, 07:11 PM

My view on attraction is the same as I originally posted on page 1 all those years ago but I just noticed that Duchess was the last poster before homoe. She had such good energy, which is important in all relationships.

10-18-2012, 08:26 AM	#3
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,118 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	And the $64,000 question...Why do we feel attraction for someone in the first place? And why does it so often go against our "type"? I mean, take this thread and somewhere, there's a "love list" thread, in which myself and other people have tried to describe ideal partners and the "type" we say we're attracted to. But many, if not most, of us have been fixed up with someone who seemed to have everything on the list and on paper, sounded perfect...but there's no chemistry, no "heat" when you meet. You know what I'm talking about. And the opposite is true, and chemistry makes a sneak attack, unexpected. Sometimes, that person is a big flapping red flag with feet, and sometimes it really does turn out that they have the qualities which you seek. I personally believe "heat" is obviously a lot of fun, but real compatibility takes time to ferret out. But that's the maddening part. Wouldn't it save a lot of grief and time if we only felt chemistry with someone suitable? But we're complex people and life just isn't that simple. I suppose that's just a rhetorical question. We can list and list all we want, but sometimes it's a big mystery. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

07-07-2014, 07:39 PM	#4
Duchess Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Toe curling :-) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 2,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,792 Thanked 5,591 Times in 1,521 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I don't think it's shallow for attraction to begin with appearance. Reading the body language, are they well groomed, listening to them speak, etc...tells you so much about a person. It could possibly save you a lot of wasted time to simply observe a person when possible. __________________ *無料のライブ*

04-20-2021, 07:11 PM	#6
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,915 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	My view on attraction is the same as I originally posted on page 1 all those years ago but I just noticed that Duchess was the last poster before homoe. She had such good energy, which is important in all relationships. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

10-17-2012, 12:18 PM	#2
Nomad Timed Out How Do You Identify?: stone femme Daddy's girl Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: disinterested Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in my head Posts: 991 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,848 Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 0	you know, i'm just not turned on by looks. oh sure, a brief well hello there (fan)moment over a celeb or something from time to time but it doesnt bunch my panties on even a superficial personal level. now if someone is intelligent and funny and has that naturally dominant toppish energy that makes them cocky and charming and flirtatious then my knickers get twisted. confidence is sexy to the Nth degree and i hate --- also to the Nth degree --- when someone fakes it and i find out later that they dont really own it and they cant really bring it and they've been looking to me as their source for ego. i want the A-game, all day, every day, easy breezy beautiful because i'm worth it --- again, to the Nth degree i'm worth it, and i'm ready to prove it if you can prove that you can handle me and i'm a damn handful so put on your fireproof boxers. yes you can have an off day. yes you can ask my opinion, my advice, for my support and to be left off a pedestal. but if you're doing the role rather than being the person i'm vehemently not interested so dont pretend and dont medicate your lack of self esteem with me. i fall all over the place for natural authority. quiet, balanced, thoughtful, firm, not forced, unpretentious, still able to laugh at yourself, generous authority. i'm proverbially verklempt over it and you either have it with me or you dont. no insult, no fuss, no muss, it's just there or it isnt. i've been known to gravitate toward it in friends and acquaintance from time to time and even have a couple of role models on the Planet that embody that energy to the core. call it chemistry if you like. all i know is when you have it, i begin to think of you as You. i like that in my life. i like it a lot.

04-20-2021, 02:09 PM	#5
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	~~ My attraction has mostly been to femme women. There have been rare cases when it was a butch! In one case, we met at a mutual friend's party, I think I was attracted to her because she was such a kind, caring, and thoughtful person, you know the kind of person who'd give you the shirt off their back if they thought you needed it more than them! A romance never developed, but we got to be good friends. Then she left Milwaukee and moved to St Louis. I hadn't thought of her in ages until I came this thread.