June Cleaver : Femme Friend or Femme Foe

girl_dee · 10-29-2012, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

Interesting.

I guess my gender is more than one as well...

I am a woman-lesbian-femme. I hate putting femme last and don't really mean it that way. It's sorta all of those at the same time. Without one of those, it wouldn't be me.

I love the word Dyke. I've never claimed it. But, i think it's a cool word.

i claim Dyke! i love that word! i think i love it because at one time it meant something derogatory..

i think i am femme first

Femme Dyke has always been my favorite.

spritzerJ · 10-29-2012, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

Interesting.

I guess my gender is more than one as well...

I am a woman-lesbian-femme. I hate putting femme last and don't really mean it that way. It's sorta all of those at the same time. Without one of those, it wouldn't be me.

I love the word Dyke. I've never claimed it. But, i think it's a cool word.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i claim Dyke! i love that word! i think i love it because at one time it meant something derogatory..

i think i am femme first

Femme Dyke has always been my favorite.

I enjoy the word dyke. It says power to me. power in me, in my woman loving way.

I'd say dyke femme.

girl_dee · 10-29-2012, 04:26 PM

When i was young the word Dyke was used (in my memory) by men who were referring to Butch women. Those butch women to me were strong, fearless and intrepid. Like my Syr..... i wanted to be like them, (the fearless part not the butch part).

So i hope i carry some of the traits that i admired. i feel proud to be a Dyke!

spritzerJ · 10-29-2012, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

When i was young the word Dyke was used (in my memory) by men who were referring to Butch women. Those butch women to me were strong, fearless and intrepid. Like my Syr..... i wanted to be like them, (the fearless part not the butch part).

So i hope i carry some of the traits that i admired. i feel proud to be a Dyke!

I know I carry some of those traits. I didn't always. And I know that I am strong. Strong enough to let go too.

Another part of Dyke to me is trust in myself. I've got that too these days.

I bet you have your own twist on that Dyke fearless too Cajun Dee.

spritzerJ · 10-29-2012, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spritzerJ

I know I carry some of those traits. I didn't always. And I know that I am strong. Strong enough to let go too.

Another part of Dyke to me is trust in myself. I've got that too these days.

I bet you have your own twist on that Dyke fearless too Cajun Dee.

Yes I quote myself these days... I was thinking about my "strong enough to let go" part.

1. that is my strength. my path to learn how to let go. It is the lesson I needed to learn and learn again.
2. letting go is my expression of power. over that which feels binding. It is my expression of power to choose that which binds me.
3. I find it just as powerful the expression of being strong enough to be in control, to not let go, to hold on.

*Anya* · 10-29-2012, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spritzerJ

I know I carry some of those traits. I didn't always. And I know that I am strong. Strong enough to let go too.

Another part of Dyke to me is trust in myself. I've got that too these days.

I bet you have your own twist on that Dyke fearless too Cajun Dee.

Queer does not fit for me. Never has.

I never claimed Dyke but I like it.

Lesbian feels the best.

It is exactly who and what I am.

Martina · 10-29-2012, 11:25 PM

This is a towel from the fifties. She's tossing the dirty dishes out the window. Ironically appropriate image for a dish towel.

You know there had to have been a lot of Erma Bombeck style humor about the absurd expectations placed on women.

Sachita · 10-30-2012, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

This is a towel from the fifties. She's tossing the dirty dishes out the window. Ironically appropriate image for a dish towel.

You know there had to have been a lot of Erma Bombeck style humor about the absurd expectations placed on women.

hahaha that would have been me! I hate housework. I love cooking and making wonderful meals for the people I love but I hate hate housework. But I love my house clean. Thankfully I was able to finally hire someone until I find my own June or Tim. lol

girl_dee · 10-30-2012, 07:25 AM

Just thoughts on the evolution of *woman*, all genders of women. Over the years women have been told what a real woman does, and sadly even by other women. We've been judged and torn apart, all the while trying to do the right thing.

So basically in the beginning..

1) Tend to the farmhouse, feed the chickens, birth lots of babies, bake the biscuits, scrub the laundry, help in the fields (sometimes in the same day as birthing a baby) and read the bible to the babies by the coal oil light. Don't buck the husband and do as you are told. That's what a real woman does.

2) Graduate high school, marry the perfect man, please him, take care of him, birth the babies and take care of them while hubby is at the office. Make sure you've got the supper on the table and in your nice dress and pearls when he returns.. (June Cleaver).. "stand by your man " kinda thing...Be happy, make the best of it and be grateful.
That's what a real woman does.

3) Get a job! Womens liberation yaknow! Work outside the home like the men do. Get paid, not as much but be happy you have a job. Work all day and come home like the men do, oh by the way, also do all the things in #2. Figure out how to get the kids and hubby fed within minutes at the end of your work day. Spend the weekends cleaning and cooking to get ready for that work week. That's what a real woman does.

4) What the hell are you doing working and leaving the kids at day care? No good mom does this, Stay home and raise those kids! Forget the job and life outside the home, your job is to raise kids and take care of the house. You are not a good mom if you work and have kids in day care. That's what a real woman does.

i have never seen men subjected to such standards. Their "role" has pretty much stayed the same. Man is the dominant force. Women not so much.

That's how i feel the evolution of *woman* has played out over the years. i wonder has anyone ever bothered to say *let a woman decide what is best for her and her kids* without judgment? Nope, conform or be judged.

What is NOT brought up is what happens when Dad is a deadbeat and they have no choice but to work and leave kids in the care of someone else? What happens when the husband is abusive and she is scared to venture outside the home? What if she is trapped? What if the woman is queer? She was expected to marry a man without consideration of her identity. (my mother). It didn't matter as long as she did what was expected. Many times women have no option for what they do, yet they are still judged.

i am sick of women try to explain, and be judged as to why they do what they do because it doesn't meld with society's idea of a real woman at any given time. Hell we weren't even allowed to wear slacks in the beginning! We have had to fight for our rights and privileges since the beginning. We have been shamed into feeling pregnancy was something to be ashamed of (not allowed on TV during June Cleaver's run). Women didn't swear or get dirty. All because men said it wasn't proper.

When i was 12 my mother went and got a job. My father nearly came unglued. He showed up at her work and harassed her every day. Of course this was after 13 years of abuse, so it was to be expected.

Sachita · 10-29-2012, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i claim Dyke! i love that word! i think i love it because at one time it meant something derogatory..

i think i am femme first

Femme Dyke has always been my favorite.

sometimes femme feels icky to me. But for all intent and purposes, within this bf culture I am.

When someone calls me a lesbian it makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I prefer Queer. I'm not sure why.

I claim Goddess.

The_Lady_Snow · 10-29-2012, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sachita

sometimes femme feels icky to me. But for all intent and purposes, within this bf culture I am.

When someone calls me a lesbian it makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I prefer Queer. I'm not sure why.

I claim Goddess.

I too use Queer, it goes with my politics, beliefs, life, so on. I like that I can be long to the alphabet soup (LGBTQI).

I am hoping novela comes back to discuss gender. culture.id's and how they differ.

Sachita · 10-29-2012, 04:40 PM

oh I can totally get into the vintage glam thing! I was never much for leather per se. I mean I love boots, gloves, maybe a corset. But give me a velvet gown, pearls, stilettos and opera gloves any day.

for a hot scene I might be more inclined to wear something silky, revealing and easy access.

10-30-2012, 07:25 AM	#9
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	i've been pondering.. Just thoughts on the evolution of woman, all genders of women. Over the years women have been told what a real woman does, and sadly even by other women. We've been judged and torn apart, all the while trying to do the right thing. So basically in the beginning.. 1) Tend to the farmhouse, feed the chickens, birth lots of babies, bake the biscuits, scrub the laundry, help in the fields (sometimes in the same day as birthing a baby) and read the bible to the babies by the coal oil light. Don't buck the husband and do as you are told. That's what a real woman does. 2) Graduate high school, marry the perfect man, please him, take care of him, birth the babies and take care of them while hubby is at the office. Make sure you've got the supper on the table and in your nice dress and pearls when he returns.. (June Cleaver).. "stand by your man " kinda thing...Be happy, make the best of it and be grateful. That's what a real woman does. 3) Get a job! Womens liberation yaknow! Work outside the home like the men do. Get paid, not as much but be happy you have a job. Work all day and come home like the men do, oh by the way, also do all the things in #2. Figure out how to get the kids and hubby fed within minutes at the end of your work day. Spend the weekends cleaning and cooking to get ready for that work week. That's what a real woman does. 4) What the hell are you doing working and leaving the kids at day care? No good mom does this, Stay home and raise those kids! Forget the job and life outside the home, your job is to raise kids and take care of the house. You are not a good mom if you work and have kids in day care. That's what a real woman does. i have never seen men subjected to such standards. Their "role" has pretty much stayed the same. Man is the dominant force. Women not so much. That's how i feel the evolution of woman has played out over the years. i wonder has anyone ever bothered to say let a woman decide what is best for her and her kids without judgment? Nope, conform or be judged. What is NOT brought up is what happens when Dad is a deadbeat and they have no choice but to work and leave kids in the care of someone else? What happens when the husband is abusive and she is scared to venture outside the home? What if she is trapped? What if the woman is queer? She was expected to marry a man without consideration of her identity. (my mother). It didn't matter as long as she did what was expected. Many times women have no option for what they do, yet they are still judged. i am sick of women try to explain, and be judged as to why they do what they do because it doesn't meld with society's idea of a real woman at any given time. Hell we weren't even allowed to wear slacks in the beginning! We have had to fight for our rights and privileges since the beginning. We have been shamed into feeling pregnancy was something to be ashamed of (not allowed on TV during June Cleaver's run). Women didn't swear or get dirty. All because men said it wasn't proper. When i was 12 my mother went and got a job. My father nearly came unglued. He showed up at her work and harassed her every day. Of course this was after 13 years of abuse, so it was to be expected.

10-29-2012, 04:26 PM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	When i was young the word Dyke was used (in my memory) by men who were referring to Butch women. Those butch women to me were strong, fearless and intrepid. Like my Syr..... i wanted to be like them, (the fearless part not the butch part). So i hope i carry some of the traits that i admired. i feel proud to be a Dyke!

10-29-2012, 11:25 PM	#7
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	This is a towel from the fifties. She's tossing the dirty dishes out the window. Ironically appropriate image for a dish towel. You know there had to have been a lot of Erma Bombeck style humor about the absurd expectations placed on women.

10-29-2012, 04:40 PM	#12
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,992 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	oh I can totally get into the vintage glam thing! I was never much for leather per se. I mean I love boots, gloves, maybe a corset. But give me a velvet gown, pearls, stilettos and opera gloves any day. for a hot scene I might be more inclined to wear something silky, revealing and easy access.