Everything you wanted to know about dating...

[laruss]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Some of my not-so-successful dates are sad and some are humorous so I will also share some of them.

Skip this if you already read it in the zombie thread:

A couple of weeks ago, I met a woman for coffee. She had her own web-based business and seemed really stable before we met.

After chatting a bit, she proceeded to tell me that she was "really hot for Latinas".

I looked at her and said: "You are out of luck with me then, as I am clearly not". She then told me that the love of her life was Latina and passed away.

I told her I was very sorry to hear that because I was.

She then told me that her love had died of a heroin overdose and though they were living together for 5-years, she had not known that her partner was shooting up.

Another one was an ex-nun who shared with me that she had had sex with almost everyone in her order and was looking for someone to join her all-ex-nun weekly mass that they held on Sundays. Also out of luck as I am not Catholic.

Another Googled me having my name only and proceeded to tell me where I lived, how much my house cost originally and what my property taxes were creeped the hell out much? Yes, I was. Still am, thinking about it.

I can honestly say that I have never Googled anyone I have dated or been in love with. It feels like such an invasion of privacy to me. I just can't do it.

I don't know how the rest of you feel about it.

I have had quite a few very interesting and positive dates. This post, however, is not about them.

Anya these are hilarious and kind of scary. Good for you for getting out there and dating and experiencing new people. You never know when you will find "the one". They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs...

I have to say I have Googled people, whether dating them or not. I also Google myself on occasion just to see what is out there. It surprises me the info you can find. I more do it out of curiosity. Unless I was worried for the other person I would never tell them what I found. I did tell a friend when I found her cell number and home address listed for anyone at all to find. But, other then that I have never found anything out about someone that was a concern. I would never contact someone based on info I found on line. I would go through the proper channels and only use it if they gave it to me (eg: address or phone number).

I am a huge flirt, or I used to be, I am a bit broken right now. So, I typically have no problem getting dates. I talk to people everywhere and just like to get to know people. I have made some really good friends that way, and found some great loves. I am currently not interested in dating, but because I recently moved to a new area, I have put myself out there to make some new friends. But, I have been very clear that it is only friendship that I am looking for right now. I really need to find a community here and get to know a few more people in my neighbourhood.

I think it would be tough if you were shy, this is not my problem. I think forums like this (or any interest you have) are a great place to get to know people in a less threatening way. You get to know a bit about them and then you can decide whether to become friends or date. I have gotten to know some great people here as well as some other forums (art and writing forums).

Anyway, good luck to everyone.

One piece of advice I can give from my online dating past is not to take anything personally, they don't know you. We go on online dating sites to get to know people and so we may chat a bit, even move to the level of talking on the phone, may even meet, but it is all the 'getting to know you' process. Don't take it personally if it ends or the person disappears or isn't' who you thought they were. You don't know them and they don't know you.

Oh, I just remembered a bad experience...

I remember one time I was chatting with someone and we were about to move to the phone call step and they mentioned they were a cop. I personally don't date cops (my choice, I know I generalize and miss out on a lot of great people. No offense intended.) I worked for the police department and it left a bad taste in my mouth, so it is a blanket across the board rule for me. They questioned my why and I said that I had worked for the Police department and knew a lot of cops, even had some cop friends, but I didn't date cops due to what I knew about the personality type. I apologized and said it was nothing personal but it was my choice. They tried to defend and when I wouldn't give them my number and thanked them (I was polite the whole time), they got angry and abusive (point proven). I had not given them my number and next thing I know I am getting phone calls from them... abusive phone calls. My number was unlisted.

It didn't stop me from online dating or giving my number to people. I didn't take it personally. Their bad behaviour was on them. And yes this could have been anyone, I am not saying all cops are bad people.

For the most part I have had really good experiences dating. Not a lot of crazies like Anya.