Unconditional Love... is it really unconditional?

adorable · 03-20-2010, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SassyLeo

As much as my friends tease me about being a mother (as in, they used to buy me Mother's Day cards ), and there is definitely a caretaker and mothering instinct in me, I am not a mother...and could not speak from this perspective.

But I am sure my mother could. When I think about it this way...well, I know that my parents love(d) me completely unconditionally. I am sure I *tested* them many a time. And they still loved me. And I am sure they taught me to also love this way. I admire you parents in this way. Do you think you would still love them unconditionally if they did something really awful? I guess it is hard to say "what if"....

I think about friends whom I've had over the years who have done things which I did not agree with, but I still loved them. I guess, unconditionally. I had a few friends who did really fucked up stuff and I chose to separate from the friendship. Was I then withholding the unconditional love?

"Really awful" is such a relative term depending on the family. I could say with 100% certainty that even if they killed someone, tortured a puppy, killed a baby seal, poked out my left eye.....lol...that I would love them no matter what! I wouldn't like any of those things....just like I don't like my oldest daughters current facial piercing trend...but that's my kid - even if she can't make it thru a metal detector.

Bit is right that it is possible to love unconditionally and for your own mental stability cut someone out of your life. In fact sometimes the most loving thing you can do is walk away. There is a line between enabling and loving.

AtLast · 03-20-2010, 01:36 PM

Yes, unconditional love exists. I did experience it as a child and give it to my own kid and he came to me via a family death. However, there are so many that have not felt this kind of love from parents and family. Sure, I pushed some limits.

I think unconditional love with a relationship is possible, but not probable and shouldn't be. We all have deal-breakers that allow us to be true to ourselves and avoid abusive situations. At least, I hope we all do... marriage/partnerships are not the same as parenting and for the life of me, I don't get why some people believe unconditional love in relationships is healthy. Perhaps, the love felt will never leave (but transforms), but, if someone is not really a good match and a healthy steady-state can't be achieved, love can remain, but the relationship is not the best it can be and we all deserve the best it can be!

03-20-2010, 01:36 PM	#2
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Yes, unconditional love exists. I did experience it as a child and give it to my own kid and he came to me via a family death. However, there are so many that have not felt this kind of love from parents and family. Sure, I pushed some limits. I think unconditional love with a relationship is possible, but not probable and shouldn't be. We all have deal-breakers that allow us to be true to ourselves and avoid abusive situations. At least, I hope we all do... marriage/partnerships are not the same as parenting and for the life of me, I don't get why some people believe unconditional love in relationships is healthy. Perhaps, the love felt will never leave (but transforms), but, if someone is not really a good match and a healthy steady-state can't be achieved, love can remain, but the relationship is not the best it can be and we all deserve the best it can be!