Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[goodlilfemme]

CANCER such an evil word . many hugs to those of you that are going through any cancer treatments now and rock on jean that you beat breast cancer twice . unfortunately my aunt did not beat it but she's always in my heart lost her about 2 years ago now . my father has beat pancriatic cancer twice he just turned 70 on the 21st of december and doing amazingly well . just found out my best friend has breast cancer. she's doing chemo now . she did tell me they caught it in an early stage so im hoping and praying she can beat this . our friends are a complete support system for her right now . anyway many hugs and prayers for anybody dealing with cancer right now

always goodlilfemme

[pynkkameleon]

I have seen a marked reduction in memory and other issues as well. Chemo ended for me in May 2010. I find myself often pausing mid-sentence trying to remember words and even losing track of what the conversation was about. Reading books is difficult for me as I now have trouble retaining what I have read. I also have always loved to write. It may be one of my greatest struggles now.

I believe that the chemo played a big part in these issues. I also believe that the multitude of surgeries (anesthesia), medications, possibly radiation and who knows what else plays a part too.

I had one doctor try to tell me that it wasn't the chemo but was instead a sign that I was getting older. Seriously? Asshole!

My insurance covers visits to a cognitive therapist. I see her once a week and have for almost a year now. She's been a wonderful source of support for me. We work on keeping my brain busy by doing a lot of puzzles, word problems, memory quizzes and she gives me the tips that I need to remember things at home. Post-it notes, calendars, white boards, a voice recorder to take to appointments and more are all a part of my daily life now. They really are a huge help. While she doesn't believe that I will regain that 15% or so of memory/cognitive function that I have lost, she has at least given me some great new skills to help me to cope and deal with it.

I think that depression also plays a part in my life just as Jean said. For me it isn't the stereotypical depression. I still laugh with wild abandon every chance that I can. I find joy in every nook and cranny available. I still live as if my glass is overflowing. It's the anxieties and fears that never existed before. I don't have the self confidence that I used to. I don't have the energy to do the things that I want to do. It's very frustrating.

I know that I am not a textbook case. Lots of people don't even experience half of what I or many of us have. Even if we are given the "same" chemo, for the "same" cancer, for the "same" length of time, every one of us is going to have a different reaction to it because we ARE each different. What I find to be the most irritating is when our own doctors feed us these lines and statistics, giving us a time frame for when everything should stop affecting us. They know better. The hard truth is that every reaction and length of that reaction is going to vary from person to person and even with all of the studies they do, nobody really knows much of anything about chemo and its long range effects.

I'll add that my chemo was for Breast Cancer, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, 2.5cm tumor with lymph node involvement. ER/PR+, Her2 -. I did 4 rounds of Taxotere and Cytoxan, 3 weeks apart followed by radiation and what now looks to be a total of 10 years of oral tamoxifen thanks to new guidelines that just came out. I also have had a double mastectomy with several failed attempts at reconstruction and have no desire to ever attempt it again. Not only do I save money by not indulging in my old obsession over buying sexy lingerie but I also don't have to worry about boobies someday sagging down to my toes and tripping me. Double win on that one!

A friend recently asked me if I would do it all over again if I knew then what I know now. My answer? Hell yes I would do it again. I still believe that it saved my life and I have a LOT of living and hell raising left to do. I just hit my 3 year surgery anniversary date and so far so good, no sign of mets or recurrence. YAY!

Anyway, Since I clearly am suffering from insomnia tonight and Christmas is tomorrow I am going to scoot my butt off of here and go wrap presents. I am such a procrastinator!

You are all amazing! Sending each of you big hugs, lots of love and warm thoughts for the holidays!!

..goodlilfemme ~ I'll be keeping you, your bestie and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

[goodlilfemme]

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme

Originally Posted by goodlilfemme

CANCER such an evil word . many hugs to those of you that are going through any cancer treatments now and rock on jean that you beat breast cancer twice . unfortunately my aunt did not beat it but she's always in my heart lost her about 2 years ago now . my father has beat pancriatic cancer twice he just turned 70 on the 21st of december and doing amazingly well . just found out my best friend has breast cancer. she's doing chemo now . she did tell me they caught it in an early stage so im hoping and praying she can beat this . our friends are a complete support system for her right now . anyway many hugs and prayers for anybody dealing with cancer right now

always goodlilfemme

[mustangjeano]

Originally Posted by goodlilfemme

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme

Goodlilfemme, it is a very loving and sweet thing to shave your hair in support of your friend. A friend of mine was diagnosed a year after me and lives in a different state. All of her friends in her area went to a local beauty shop with her and they all had their heads shaved. She said it was a supprisingly joyous and moving experience. You are a very special person to consider this. I have to admit that I didn't shave my hair since I had just grown mine back from the chemo--a little selfish of me I guess. Jeano

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by goodlilfemme

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme

Hello goodlilfemme, a wonderful gesture.
I had friends offer and say they were shaving their heads. I didn't want anyone to. Those with long hair, I suggested a short haircut and donating their hair for wigs if they felt strongly about it. Maybe, I wanted to stay in denial as much as I could.
BUT at the same time, a friend who is going through chemo for stomach cancer, loves that everyone is shaving heads for her.at

The things that meant the most during chemo/radiation: people stopping by for hugs, a woman from work mowing my lawn in her heels (I laughed for days), a friend bringing me fried rice in several flavors one day when I was having a meltdown, people coming over and walking my dog, assorted bad hats made for me, a beautiful knit blanket a friend made, the WORST rice pudding made by a kitchen challenged friend, phone calls to say 'I love you' right I needed it.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by deb_U_taunt

Hello goodlilfemme, a wonderful gesture.
I had friends offer and say they were shaving their heads. I didn't want anyone to. Those with long hair, I suggested a short haircut and donating their hair for wigs if they felt strongly about it. Maybe, I wanted to stay in denial as much as I could.
BUT at the same time, a friend who is going through chemo for stomach cancer, loves that everyone is shaving heads for her.at

The things that meant the most during chemo/radiation: people stopping by for hugs, a woman from work mowing my lawn in her heels (I laughed for days), a friend bringing me fried rice in several flavors one day when I was having a meltdown, people coming over and walking my dog, assorted bad hats made for me, a beautiful knit blanket a friend made, the WORST rice pudding made by a kitchen challenged friend, phone calls to say 'I love you' right I needed it.

I hid it from everyone that I had cancer. The people who had to know, knew. Outside of my partner and family, the only other people that knew were my best friend and work people. I was happy that my neighbors cut my grass and I was very thankful when the EMT across the street saw me in the hallway of the ER when I had an obstruction after surgery and intervened...

I am just not good with people ... what is the word...supporting me?

It is interesting how we can all be so different.

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I hid it from everyone that I had cancer. The people who had to know, knew. Outside of my partner and family, the only other people that knew were my best friend and work people. I was happy that my neighbors cut my grass and I was very thankful when the EMT across the street saw me in the hallway of the ER when I had an obstruction after surgery and intervened...

I am just not good with people ... what is the word...supporting me?

It is interesting how we can all be so different.

It was hard for me to hide D cup to flat chest and hair to shoulder blades to bald lol I didn't wear wigs and I won't wear falsies, since they are heavy and uncomfortable. I am also very open. I lack boundaries.

[Aryon]

I was told about this thread by a beautiful person that I consider to be a friend. She knows who she is and I thank her. I have subscribed to the thread and will sit and read it when I can. But I wanted to post something.

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on July 4th. By October 9th I had undergone more than a few surgeries that the surgeon hoped would allow me to keep my breasts to no avail. It took me until May of 2008 to finally face my scars through someone else's eyes and thus accept them unashamedly. It was a long hard journey.

Then in November of 2010, my partner was told she had a soccer ball sized tumour. I was there looking after her home and her while she was in hospital and afterwards. Then in 2011 when they decided to remove the tumour, I was there again. I did not feel I could have been anywhere else. I would have traded places with her if I could have. But of course that isn't possible.

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

I'll post again after I have fully read the thread.

Thanks for posting and for reading.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Aryon

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.

I had colon cancer. I am very sorry you are dealing with this. Please write as much and as often as you like. We are a supportive group here.

[mustangjeano]

Originally Posted by Aryon

I was told about this thread by a beautiful person that I consider to be a friend. She knows who she is and I thank her. I have subscribed to the thread and will sit and read it when I can. But I wanted to post something.

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on July 4th. By October 9th I had undergone more than a few surgeries that the surgeon hoped would allow me to keep my breasts to no avail. It took me until May of 2008 to finally face my scars through someone else's eyes and thus accept them unashamedly. It was a long hard journey.

Then in November of 2010, my partner was told she had a soccer ball sized tumour. I was there looking after her home and her while she was in hospital and afterwards. Then in 2011 when they decided to remove the tumour, I was there again. I did not feel I could have been anywhere else. I would have traded places with her if I could have. But of course that isn't possible.

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

I'll post again after I have fully read the thread.

Thanks for posting and for reading.

I am sending white light and healing energy to you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers on Monday. Jeano, cancer survivor and butch who has also been "scared as hell"

[clay]

Aryon, I, too, had colon cancer....you are among people here who have walked this journey, who know cancer firsthand.
Please feel free to come in and share as often and as much or as little as you like or feel led to. I was a very scared butch as well.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Aryon}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
Know I am here with the others....take care of yourself....sending white light and healing energies to you also...

[sis]

..... for having a great check-up today! Its been four years since my hysterectomy and radiation therapy. I understand the fear some of you have shared.

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by Aryon

But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

Aryon,

This human was scared, too. You have support here. This thread and the boards and chat rooms on csn.cancer.org were great support for me. Please, let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Deb

[Lucian]

Originally Posted by Aryon

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

Buddy it's ok to be afraid. Most people would be. I know you are gonna make it through this fine and beat it. I just feel you are. You won before, you will win again.

[Tommi]

Aryon,
Good luck on the good fight and surgery on Monday. Drop in and say hi soon as you can ,

Tommi

[deb_U_taunt]

BOO!!! I think we lost Aryon's thread. Any updates?

Thank you,
Deb

[deb_U_taunt]

Its that time again. I meet my new oncologist Tuesday and get blood work for tumor markers. I gotta say, I hate the stress of wait and see. My mom wants to go with, but told her I was fine going alone. Why did I say that??? WTF is wrong with me.

[Lucian]

Originally Posted by deb_U_taunt

BOO!!! I think we lost Aryon's thread. Any updates?

Thank you,
Deb

Hi Deb...here ya go.

Update from Aryons Partner...............["Aryon Cole update, JAN 17, 2013 - 9:40 pm UK time: Aryon is doing well and all seems ok for the moment. Aryon is scheduled to go home tomorrow (FRI) and I suspect will post on FB at some point after, of course, UK time "]