How have you met the people you've been involved with romantically or sexually?

Ginger · 12-29-2012, 01:00 AM

Just a reminder... "when" isn't really the point; it's more about "where" or "how" you've met the people you've been involved with.

Do you tend to meet people online? Through work? Through a hobby or an interest, like bike riding or school or ... ?

It's really interesting to read how people meet their partners.

imperfect_cupcake · 12-29-2012, 04:39 AM

there have been way too many for me to put in a list. that would become rather embarrassing.

when I was a teen it was through school or at the Dance Hall or at a Gig.

when I was 18-27 it was through mutual friends, gigs, house parties, events, cafes and clubs/bars

from 27 - 33 it was all on line b/f stuff with the rare pick up in a bar

34 - 38 it was online London social site events (meet n greets, event nights) and the genderqueer-dyke bar/club and mutual friends and exes (house parties), as I made them.

when my wife left it has all since been from dating sites, save the rare set up from an ex. That's about to change as I get back into things and my very few local dyke mates (most of my friends at home are straight) plug me back into the local social life.

I'd like to take the focus off on-line as I don't really trust the dating sites... social sites perhaps a bit easier. dating sites are difficult. lots of people out there on cupid and pof, but I find it very difficult to get a feel for someone before meeting. Someone's sense of grace is really the main point of attraction for me. that doesn't come through till I meet them, though occasionally it can be seen in a photograph.

Nadeest · 12-29-2012, 06:34 AM

I met her thru a blind date that my brother set up for me, just after I got out of the military for the first time.
We met thru mutual friends, and were together for about three years.
Met her at a bus stop in downtown Detroit. I was going to work, she was just coming home from church.

Ginger · 12-29-2012, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadeest

Met her at a bus stop in downtown Detroit. I was going to work, she was just coming home from church.

That one feels so romantic to me. I guess that "meeting on a train/ship/etc." thing is a classic way to find love ... It's like the start of a movie.

Nadeest · 12-29-2012, 09:00 PM

I don't know about that, but I was certainly surprised by the relationship. lol

Liam · 12-29-2012, 09:03 AM

The majority of women I have been involved with, were introduced through friends. Work, school and online were also places I met women. My favorite was a coffee shop.

DapperButch · 12-29-2012, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I'd like to take the focus off on-line as I don't really trust the dating sites... social sites perhaps a bit easier. dating sites are difficult. lots of people out there on cupid and pof, but I find it very difficult to get a feel for someone before meeting. Someone's sense of grace is really the main point of attraction for me. that doesn't come through till I meet them, though occasionally it can be seen in a photograph.

What I liked about online dating sites is how quickly you can sift through people. Since I only ever dated locally, there was no need for anything to be drawn out. Two-three emails, maybe a phone call and then a quick meet. Next.

imperfect_cupcake · 12-29-2012, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

What I liked about online dating sites is how quickly you can sift through people. Since I only ever dated locally, there was no need for anything to be drawn out. Two-three emails, maybe a phone call and then a quick meet. Next.

I don't really have the time though. With social sites I can dip in and out here and there, talk a bit, and there's a platform for conversation. I don't want a prolonged email blah blah, but I'd like some kind of common template to start with... I guess it's because I'm just no longer fond of dating. I much prefer freindship and attraction -> shagging and friendship -> seeing someone

the dating thing I'm just finding kind of hard. chatting because of mutual friends, and have some point of mutual link makes it much easier.

I think I'm just a bit tired. I think oh ugh, starting from point zero. why can't I just go hang out with some friends I find sexy and take it from there.

I guess I'm hanging with all my old mates, I've had sex with most of my friends before, there's no "trouble" they feel a bit like family and the thought of coming home and starting up with people with no feeling of familiarity... just makes my chest sink. I think that's why I prefer meeting people through people. It's just not awkward or stiff. But then, maybe I haven't met someone with the right click. Or maybe, it's just easier to relax and allow that click when it's at a house party/dinner party/mutual friends.

I think I just discovered I hate dating... I used to love it...

QueenofSmirks · 07-20-2013, 10:17 AM

I just realized the last three- I met each of them at a queer community dinner/brunch/lunch. Prior to that, it was often through friends, though, like many others, I met some online and eventually progressed to real time.

*Anya* · 07-20-2013, 10:38 AM

I met her on a well-known, legitimate dating site.

I was only dating people that were local and ones I could first meet for coffee.

With her, I skipped my coffee first "rule" and met for dinner. (First dates, I would always meet them rather than have them pick me up in their car).

It just was serendipitous that we clicked on our first date.

Novelafemme · 07-20-2013, 10:53 AM

1. We met at a well known guitar shop in Rochester, NY. He was a bass player in a rock band.

2. He was one of my best friends for eleven years and we worked together. He was a big factor in my decision to leave my then husband.

3. A queer website. She also lived in my hometown.

4. The Apple store here in Tucson.

12-29-2012, 09:03 AM	#6
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,875 Times in 1,861 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	The majority of women I have been involved with, were introduced through friends. Work, school and online were also places I met women. My favorite was a coffee shop. __________________ <3 Love is weird.

07-20-2013, 10:17 AM	#9
QueenofSmirks Member How Do You Identify?: Just Me Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Busy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Phoenix - Valley of the Sun Posts: 1,429 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,010 Thanked 2,916 Times in 880 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I just realized the last three- I met each of them at a queer community dinner/brunch/lunch. Prior to that, it was often through friends, though, like many others, I met some online and eventually progressed to real time. __________________ Stephanie "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher Morley

07-20-2013, 10:38 AM	#10
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I met her on a well-known, legitimate dating site. I was only dating people that were local and ones I could first meet for coffee. With her, I skipped my coffee first "rule" and met for dinner. (First dates, I would always meet them rather than have them pick me up in their car). It just was serendipitous that we clicked on our first date. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-29-2012, 01:00 AM	#1
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Just a reminder... "when" isn't really the point; it's more about "where" or "how" you've met the people you've been involved with. Do you tend to meet people online? Through work? Through a hobby or an interest, like bike riding or school or ... ? It's really interesting to read how people meet their partners.

12-29-2012, 04:39 AM	#2
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,710 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	there have been way too many for me to put in a list. that would become rather embarrassing. when I was a teen it was through school or at the Dance Hall or at a Gig. when I was 18-27 it was through mutual friends, gigs, house parties, events, cafes and clubs/bars from 27 - 33 it was all on line b/f stuff with the rare pick up in a bar 34 - 38 it was online London social site events (meet n greets, event nights) and the genderqueer-dyke bar/club and mutual friends and exes (house parties), as I made them. when my wife left it has all since been from dating sites, save the rare set up from an ex. That's about to change as I get back into things and my very few local dyke mates (most of my friends at home are straight) plug me back into the local social life. I'd like to take the focus off on-line as I don't really trust the dating sites... social sites perhaps a bit easier. dating sites are difficult. lots of people out there on cupid and pof, but I find it very difficult to get a feel for someone before meeting. Someone's sense of grace is really the main point of attraction for me. that doesn't come through till I meet them, though occasionally it can be seen in a photograph.

12-29-2012, 06:34 AM	#3
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	I met her thru a blind date that my brother set up for me, just after I got out of the military for the first time. We met thru mutual friends, and were together for about three years. Met her at a bus stop in downtown Detroit. I was going to work, she was just coming home from church.

12-29-2012, 09:00 PM	#5
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	I don't know about that, but I was certainly surprised by the relationship. lol

07-20-2013, 10:53 AM	#11
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	1. We met at a well known guitar shop in Rochester, NY. He was a bass player in a rock band. 2. He was one of my best friends for eleven years and we worked together. He was a big factor in my decision to leave my then husband. 3. A queer website. She also lived in my hometown. 4. The Apple store here in Tucson.