Ask a trans person!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Not sure where to post this or if it's already been discussed anywhere on the site.

Late last night I came across a 2004 documentary on Showtime called "The Opposite Sex: Rene's Story."

Here's the plot summary from IMDB:

"Rene, 31, a female-to-male gender reassignment candidate took hormones for years and "passed" as a man for all of his adult life. Married to his high-school sweetheart, Wona, a heterosexual woman, for 12 years, no one would guess Rene was biologically a woman. Living under a veil of secrecy and lies, Rene and Wona's lives seemed fine until someone "outed" the couple at their beloved church and everything they knew was destroyed. The public revelation of Rene's secret starts to unravel his marriage to Wona. Through all of it, Rene continues to hold on to his lifelong obsession to become a biological male and goes on a cross-country search to find the best transgender surgeon, only to discover that the current surgery options are flawed. At the last minute, Rene finds a surgeon who has created an experimental procedure, which will be seen in THE OPPOSITE SEX for the first time. - Written by Showtime Synopsis"

This, and the second in the series "The Opposite Sex: Jaime's Story" about a transwoman's journey, will be running on Showtime until late June if anyone is interested.

Has anyone seen these? If so, what did you think?

No, I haven't seen it, but the way the plot summary is written makes it sound rather dramatic and like the FTM person was living in the 1970's.

There were a number of quality, competent gender confirmation surgeons in the U.S. by 2004. No reason for a "cross country search". <eye roll>. A one minute google search would have brought up the surgeons.

Experimental procedure? A procedure that was perhaps trying to be improved, but the two main genital procedures for men have been around forever. And the "current surgery options are flawed?". I wonder why they are still doing them, then. Sure they are getting better and better, but give me a break!

Sorry, but the way the plot summary is written presents the person as a freak and like he should be with a traveling freak show from the 1800's due to his "life long obsession" to "be a biological man" (which a natal female never becomes, by the way), as if he is the only person out there who feels they were born into the wrong body.

Very insulting.

Too insulting to watch.

ETA: I found out he went to Peter Raphael who "invented" the centurion, which is just a variation of the not new metoidioplasty. He started doing it in 2002, so Rene's surgery was not done earlier than that.

Sorry, Miss Scarlett, my frustration isn't meant for you. It is for showtime and their "synopsis" and no doubt presentation of the film. Right now the media needs to see trans people for what we are. Normal people who have some gender variance of differing levels. We don't need to be seen as oddities.

[Hominid]

Ditto what Dapper said. My guess is it is full of judgments about what a "proper" penis is, and likely took on the opinions of this one transman in regard to his choices. If anyone's spent any time in active online forums for FtM's and surgery (both top and bottom), they are replete with versions of "my (existing or planned) cock/chest is better than yours". Heck, I even wonder if this guy is someone in particular who proclaimed in many places that he (unlike others) had spent many years in search of the best option and he alone had the answer because of his extensive research.

Perhaps not entirely fair since I haven't seen it, neither do I plan to. The synopsis is plenty for me, thank you!

Originally Posted by DapperButch

No, I haven't seen it, but the way the plot summary is written makes it sound rather dramatic and like the FTM person was living in the 1970's.

There were a number of quality, competent gender confirmation surgeons in the U.S. by 2004. No reason for a "cross country search". <eye roll>. A one minute google search would have brought up the surgeons.

Experimental procedure? A procedure that was perhaps trying to be improved, but the two main genital procedures for men have been around forever. And the "current surgery options are flawed?". I wonder why they are still doing them, then. Sure they are getting better and better, but give me a break!

Sorry, but the way the plot summary is written presents the person as a freak and like he should be with a traveling freak show from the 1800's due to his "life long obsession" to "be a biological man" (which a natal female never becomes, by the way), as if he is the only person out there who feels they were born into the wrong body.

Very insulting.

Too insulting to watch.

ETA: I found out he went to Peter Raphael who "invented" the centurion, which is just a variation of the not new metoidioplasty. He started doing it in 2002, so Rene's surgery was not done earlier than that.

Sorry, Miss Scarlett, my frustration isn't meant for you. It is for showtime and their "synopsis" and no doubt presentation of the film. Right now the media needs to see trans people for what we are. Normal people who have some gender variance of differing levels. We don't need to be seen as oddities.

[Vincent]

Originally Posted by Satiated

I've debated for the last hour, whether I wanted to post my ramblings here or not. I tend to be a private sorta lady, but my need to understand has overwhelmed me so, here I be.

1. This isn't a medical question, more an emotional one directed at the Males partaking in this thread.

2. Where as my ex partner isn't here to add his two cents, I have nothing ill to say. He was a dynamite butch befor his transition, and now is just an incredible guy after.

For the most part, I have tossed around the idea of dropping the status label of lesbian these days, and just referring to myself as femme. Why you wonder, I'm blubbering about this here? Because randomly 5 years ago, my long term butch girlfriend stated she wanted to become a man and transition. I was shocked, angry, sad and various other things. Bottom line, I supported her right up till he was born.

Surgeries, hormones, and varies other things rocked us apart, but I remained diligent. I loved this persons soul. At this stage, I considered us a hetro couple. Something, I'd never thought I'd say, do or be. But, I did.

Things smoothed after the initial year, and then the confession came. " I can't date a lesbian, you like women. " I said yes, that's a fact, but I also love you, and you are male.

To no avail he dumped me, to date straight women.

Yet, here I see many Ftm's surrounding themselves with all sorts of labels.

So, all this rambling aside...

Have any of you males that transitioned ever felt your current (or at the time partner) looked at you as being anything but whom you are now?

Hi,I thought I would just throw in my experience,I live in Newtown Sydney,in the heart of queer central,I came out in 77,I transitioned 8 yrs ago,for me I identify as queer,I do see queer in a political context,and before transition,I never Identified as butch,I id'ed as dyke,I have always been attracted to feminine women,but have no attraction to heterosexual women,I'm more into queer femme,than I guess the lesbian ID,but an ID certainly would not get in my way if an attraction existed,I find a similar history background important,being a queer activist before and after transition.

I stayed single my first 5 yrs in order for my new self to evolve,I needed the freedom to be self indulgent and work through who I will become,without dumping it on someone else,like most I shed my past,lost all family and a few of my old lesbian friends,but have landed in the queer community in Sydney,I find I am much calmer after transition,and have no depression anymore,so my relationships seem to be less dramatic and more dynamic,for me I believe I will evolve all my life and I will always have my core feminist politics.

I dont know if I have helped or raved on myself.

On binders I used underworks,they were cheap and did the job.

On hormones,I enjoy Testosterone,I have just had a hysto,but being into exercise and fitness T builds muscle and sex drive,so the thought of going off T,would enact my gender dysphoria.but I know guys here who go off and on,I do think bone density may be an issue,maybe more for older guys.But really everyone's journey is different,for me going back,is something that is not an option for me,we are all on Reandron in Sydney,mainly coz we can use the andrology unit in the public hosp in Sydney,Reandron is slow release so there are no troughs,and our shots are every 3 mths,which is great,plus they do our bloods so our levels are consistent,Sustanon did not work for me.
cheers V

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by Satiated

I've debated for the last hour, whether I wanted to post my ramblings here or not. I tend to be a private sorta lady, but my need to understand has overwhelmed me so, here I be.

1. This isn't a medical question, more an emotional one directed at the Males partaking in this thread.

2. Where as my ex partner isn't here to add his two cents, I have nothing ill to say. He was a dynamite butch befor his transition, and now is just an incredible guy after.

For the most part, I have tossed around the idea of dropping the status label of lesbian these days, and just referring to myself as femme. Why you wonder, I'm blubbering about this here? Because randomly 5 years ago, my long term butch girlfriend stated she wanted to become a man and transition. I was shocked, angry, sad and various other things. Bottom line, I supported her right up till he was born.

Surgeries, hormones, and varies other things rocked us apart, but I remained diligent. I loved this persons soul. At this stage, I considered us a hetro couple. Something, I'd never thought I'd say, do or be. But, I did.

Things smoothed after the initial year, and then the confession came. " I can't date a lesbian, you like women. " I said yes, that's a fact, but I also love you, and you are male.

To no avail he dumped me, to date straight women.

Yet, here I see many Ftm's surrounding themselves with all sorts of labels.

So, all this rambling aside...

Have any of you males that transitioned ever felt your current (or at the time partner) looked at you as being anything but whom you are now?

My previous partner and I had this issue. However, the biggest difference between our situation and yours was I had already transitioned to male when we had met. But whenever we had fights or disagreements about things, we would end up having a discussion about how she identifies and about how I identify. That discussion was about her identifying as a Lesbian. This wasn't the first time it had happened to me, I would explain to her if you want to be with a woman, I am not the person for you because I can't give you that. She understood but it was still an issue. Long story short we are no longer together, that reason doesn't have to do with her identifying as a lesbian though.

[JDeere]

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

No. I have dated women who have been with cis males in the past, but no women that have identified as bisexual.

I have not dated since I started transitioning. My preference would still be to date a femme. At this point, a femme who is attracted to trans men.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by JDeere

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

Yes. Yes. From great dates to three year long relationships, I have dated several bisexual women. They went well in several different areas, I have no regrets.

[JDeere]

Thank you Dapper and Liam for your feedback!

Me and my Lady haven't had much issues with her sexuality but I think she gets a tad confused about me being trans and what it all entails, trying to educate someone who loves you is kinda hard, IMO.