Parker's Pad

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Parker

I am totally digging on this laundry soap that I made ... I am having no problem with it dissolving in cold water, my clothes are clean and SUPER soft, and they smell really nice -- nice as in, I-hung-them-on-the-line-outside-in-the-sun-on-a-warm-spring-day nice. lol

[Parker]

As most of the people in my irl world know, I wanted to move back to my home state of IL at the end of May 2013 when my lease was up. I am a disabled vet collecting VA benefits and to supplement that, I decided to *finally* do what everyone kept telling me to do for a few years - file for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI).

So in August 2011, I filed and of course, was promptly denied just like the other, what 75% of the people who apply. Then I appealed, which basically just means they look at it again and say no, again. lol

Then it went to a judge (ALJ hearing) -- this is where I got kinda screwed because most ALJs' approval rates are around 55%, but the judge I got is around 25% ... so of course, he denied me again; and let me tell you, his upteen page decision just basically said I was faking, which sucked all the air out of my balloon man.

He not only said he wasnt going to take the VA's decision into consideration (which he cannot do), he said he thought they came to the wrong conclusion and should not have approved me for disability or labeled me as unemployable.

Ouch.

Anyway, because he did that and also didnt want to hear what my doctor at the VA said, my lawyers think we have good grounds for appeal and that's where I am at now - it can take 6-18 months (the average is just under a year) for them to come to a decision: overturn the judge's decision and grant me SSDI, remand me back to the judge so he can decide again, deny me once and for all (only other thing to do at that point is to file in Federal court), or dismiss my claim, which would mean I was done.

My hope, of course, was that I was going to get a favorable decision from the judge so that I could use part of the back pay for SSDI to fund my move back to IL.

I picked IL because (a) I had to pick someplace lol and when I visited my sister October 2011, I remembered how much I liked living in the Midwest, (b) I am sincerely tired of the PNW - lovely place, but the traffic and people - ugh, (c) my sister is there, it's a small town, etc etc etc, and (d) the cost of living (especially housing) is significantly lower than here.

BUT, unfortunately, right before Thanksgiving, I got the letter from the judge that said "ur faking dont come back haha" - I am paraphrasing, of course.

I thought that since my case is in appeals and could be there for over another year that I had to put my move off - because right after that denial letter, I decided fuck the SSA, i will save whatever morsels of cash i can and move my damn self - I can sleep in my truck for the 3 day trip, leave most of my stuff behind, and sleep in my truck when in IL as I look at a few places to live.

Finally, I asked the lawyers if I could move or if I should stay while this thing plays out .... not only did they say I could move, they said if the appeals council remands my case back to the ALJ, the hearing can be in IL, which will be better because I wont be in front of that craptastic judge who shot my ass out of the water the first time; plus, the SSA will pay for my lawyers to fly out to IL for the hearing so they can continue handling my case and I dont have to get new lawyers.

So my move is BACK ON!

I am thinking of staying here a few months after my lease is up (like maybe until the end of July or August) so I can save a little extra money for a hotel for a few days while looking for a place to live in IL -- but I may just show up on my sister's doorstep, talking about, SURPRISE, where's my bed? lol who knows.

I also have to buy a trailer for my stuff (no furniture, bed, etc, just totes, etc of "stuff") because (a) I cannot afford a truck with a carrier for my SUV and (b) UHaul wont rent trailers to Ford Explorers - something about being sued for liability when there were rollovers or something.

So I am spending as little money as possible and saving as much as I can so I can (a) get a trailer, (b) pay for 2100 miles of gas, (c) pay for a few days worth of food, (d) pay for move-in costs, and possible (e) pay for a hotel while I look at places to rent.

I am also considering buying a home since I have a VA home loan certificate, but that is a lot further down the line and I really like renting - sure, it isnt my home and I have to play by someone else's rules, but I dont have to pay for things that break down, etc.


Of course, I would win the Mega Millions tomorrow night and this will all become moot ...

[Parker]

Yesterday morning weigh-in = 236 lbs ... that put me at exactly 101 lbs over my "before age 25" weight (high school/college/Navy) ... I was 135 lbs up until about age 25-26 - which, I agree, was entirely too skinny for me, but I kinda miss being a 29 waist. lol

I hope I can keep this up and get down to 200 lbs ... or even 175 lbs ... man, 175 lbs would be awesome!

This kinda makes me want to do that walking for 5-10 mins/day, 3x/wk thing I was supposed to be doing. lol

[Parker]

I was in my storage room, which is the garage that was converted into an insulated room with the washer, dryer, and electric water heater - the previous tenants had the cable hooked up in there and used it as an office, so my landlady still calls it that and gets confused when I call it storage and this second bedroom the office - after 4 years, you'd think she'd be used to it, but no. lol

Anyway, I digress - I was in the storage room emptying out these 3 plastic 3-drawer units I am giving away and I started to panic because I looked up and saw my gardening tools, which made me think of all of the lawn care stuff, kerosene, propane, kerosene heater, a/c units, etc etc etc out in the shed that I have to have taken down before I leave because it is damaged and I dont want to leave it for the next tenant.

I say started to panic because I have lived here for a long while (for me) and originally, I planned to never leave - so I have a lot of "stuff" tucked here and there and I am leaving in 3 months!

I know I can do it - I mean, it is 3 months and I dont have a job, so I can literally sit here all day everyday cleaning, packing, taking things to Goodwill, etc.

But for a moment there, I just felt so overwhelmed, like it wasnt going to get done and I was making a mistake ..... I ended up so wired, I stayed up a few hours longer than I meant to and then crashed - and hard.

Tonight, I got up and went through all of my candles, candle holders, nick knacks, knives, etc, packing what I wanted to keep, tossing what was no good, and putting the stuff for Goodwill into a box.

I am taking a quick break and then I am going to do the same with all of the stuff hanging on my walls - I have a couple of paintings I did a long long time ago that will probably go to Goodwill (unless I just remove the frame backings off of the canvases and roll them up) because I have extra pictures here that I didnt have before and I dont want to take up too many totes for hanged pics, portraits, and paintings.

Once I do that, I will feel better -- and then once it gets closer to my move and I give away the lawn mower and take down the shed, I will feel even better.

Of course, first things first - I have 2 trailers I am looking at getting: one is a 5'x8' fully enclosed cargo trailer that is made to look like a little house ... might be a little silly looking driving down the road, but it is fairly new and in great shape. The other is a mini travel trailer that has been gutted and used as an enclosed cargo trailer that, most recently, hauled a Harley across the country. It is a little worse for the wear, needs to be scrubbed down, and possibly repainted, but as long as the inside isnt covered in mold, moss, &/or mildew, it wouldnt be a bad choice.

I am hoping to purchase one of these by the weekend so that will be one less MAJOR thing to worry about because I will know how big of a trailer I will have and can better plan what I can and cannot take with me.

I have done this many many many (to the tune of over 15 times in the last 25 years) times, so I know it will all get done, one way or the other ... and to be honest, I feel like making the decision and moving this quickly is a good thing - I have less time to think, question myself freak out, and a lot less time to lollygag about packing!

Speaking of lollygagging, I am hungry and thinking I should make myself a couple of eggs before tackling all of the stuff on the walls.

[Parker]

While I was going through the stuff in my "what's hanging on my wall" tote that never made it to my walls, I found an autographed headshot of some singer dude named Lucas Prata.

I was going to say, I dont know why I kept it - I'm not an autograph keeping kind of gal, but honestly, I think I kept it because it is a nice memento of a fun time of my life.

I was living in Tulsa, OK so this must have been circa 2001-02 and I was a part of this radio station's contest to find a new producer. I thought that would be a cool job and a stepping stone to a possible career so I entered and ended up being 1 of 3 finalists.

It was like a radio reality show where we competed in different things and gained points with each one that we won.

One of the things we had to do was find this dude, Lucas Prata, who was on tour and in Tulsa for an upcoming concert. We were supposed to use whatever means necessary to find and contact him at his hotel and I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew .... you get the idea. Anyway, I found the dude within a few hours, shocking the hell out of everyone.

Then at the event the station was having for him, he was signing headshots and he asked me if I wanted one - he's a performer, what was I going to do say, "um, no, I dont even know who the hell you are" lol, I can be blunt and forthright, but that would just be rude!

So he breaks out his headshot and signs it - this was before my name change btw:

To Deborah,

I guess I could never hide from you if I tried. Thanks so much for your support.

Love,
Lucas Prata

Oh yeah, I lost the contest, so I did not go into radio and instead moved back to IL to get my BS in Theatre Management at ISU. lol

[Parker]

My big boy, Zeke (that's not him pictured, just something I saw on FB that made me want to post about my furbabies) LOVES broccoli!

Jack wants it when he sees me giving it to Zeke but I swear, he doesnt even close his mouth around it when I give it to him, he just dips his head down and lets it fall onto the floor. lol

Sally will eat it, but only because she sees the other dogs' interest in it and she doesnt want them to have it ... she is a sweetie to me, but she is kind of a bitch to the boys - but then again, Harley was too. lol

I read something once about how female dogs never quite fit into the hierarchy of a pack the way that boys do (dominant vs. submissive) because everything and every place is *theirs*. After having had both boys and girls living together, I can kinda see that. lol

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Also, I went to Petsmart the other day to use a gift card my parents gave me for Christmas to buy a tie-out to use on my trip and also to replace a leash I lost so I would be back up to 3 leashes. It worked out well - I only had to pay like $2 and change for the two items.

Then today as I was gathering up all of the various backpacks and duffle bags I have around the house, I found a backpack I hadnt used since Salty Dog Rescue's last adoption event in mid-October, when I brought Sally with me; and wouldnt you know it, I found the 3rd leash that I thought I lost!

So I took the other leash back to Petsmart and exchanged it for the same kind of no-slip, "escape-proof" collar that the Taiwan twins have for Zeke so they would all have that same "escape-proof" collar for when I take them out on the road. I only had to shell out $1 and change for that - so thanks to mom and dad, I got a collar and a tie-out for less than $4.

[Parker]

Just got back from my eye exam at the VA - my eyes are all dilated (they dilate diabetics' eyes to check our retinas for damage due to our diabetes - mine show no damage, so I'm not going blind, which is pretty awesome). lol I cant read this post, I hope it makes sense! I see black letters on a white screen, but there is like a halo effect and it is all blurry!

I can see large things and far away things, but I couldnt text or read the price on the clip-on sunglasses at the canteen when I was ordering glasses - which are slightly different from the silver frames I have now - they are gold-ish and a little feminine, but not flowery or anything, they just had some sort of swirly lines or leaves or something on the frame - and they are lighter than these silver ones, which I also got at the VA 2 yrs ago.

So 3 weeks from now, I should receive my bifocals in the mail. I have needed bifocals for a long time now, I just didnt realize that taking off my glasses to read stuff meant I should have bifocals. lol

It was really irritating when I would watch TV while doing something else like writing out cards or sewing something or whatever - I either had to have my glasses off to do the close-up work and not see the TV clearly and just listen or I had to have my glasses on to see the TV which would make the close-up work blurry ... I usually did the former.

Anyway, I got lined bifocals because she said no-line are a bit to get used to, especially if you spend a lot of time on a computer. Something about having to look at just the right spot because there is no line ... I dont know, I stopped listening because I was still trying to deal with that fact that I need bifocals. lol

But the best part of my day was the clip-on sunglasses. Anyone who wears those knows they cost anywhere from $15-20 depending on where you get them (they are $20 at the local store here and $15 at Wal-Mart, I think) and they were only $5.50 at the VA's canteen (little retail store)! So I got 2 of them because I am a dropper and a forgetter and I usually need 2 of things like that because the first one will inevitably end up lost or broken.