advice plz - my father's alcoholism

sweetfemme247 · 03-30-2010, 09:56 PM

my father is a alcoholic but he has never been this bad, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

sylvie · 03-30-2010, 10:07 PM

thank you very much Diva, i appreciate that more than i can probably express..

WolfyOne · 03-30-2010, 10:28 PM

Sylvie, my dad was a functioning alcoholic as many police officers are. My oldest brother is an alcoholic and I did the tough love with him (we no longer speak). It runs in my family. When I was in my 20's I had a lot of misplaced anger, so a friend turned me on to ACOA(adult children of alcoholics) meetings. Believe it or not, they helped me deal with my family better back then. Sometimes it's easier to be with others in a group like that every week than try to do it on your own.

I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers.

I understand what you're going through. If your dad won't get help for himself, you should at least get help for you, so you can cope better.

apretty · 03-30-2010, 10:29 PM

i don't have personal experience but al anon is a great resource for people in your exact situation, please go and soon.

that said, if i came upon my father/anyone in the shape you describe i'd call 911 and let professionals deal with it, not because i don't care--quite the opposite, i care enough to not let him decide when he's going to go to the ER. (please understand that i'm not at all judging/criticizing the way you dealt with your father!!)

i understand that you've been dealing with this forever--that is so unfair... and i suspect that the doctor was right about this being *more* than any one person can handle--go to al anon, you're not alone.

Andrea · 03-30-2010, 10:31 PM

Al-Anon is a wonderful group. I don't feel like I am exaggerating to say it saved my life. I attended meetings off and on for several years, then became active in it and also joined CoDA (co-dependents anonymous). Best things I ever did for myself.

Go to a meeting. It won't hurt. In fact, I suggest attending several different meetings for several weeks. Each group will be different and feel different. It may not feel like it is for you for a couple of meetings and it may be uncomfortable, but it won't hurt anything to try it.

You will find people that have been through what you are going through. I found it a comfort to know I was not the only one that had experienced it. I didn't feel alone anymore. They spoke of ways of coping, and they spoke of their triumphs and that gave me hope.

Andrea

03-30-2010, 09:56 PM	#1
sweetfemme247 Member How Do You Identify?: fem Preferred Pronoun?: femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status: holding my heart close and putting back up a wall Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: california, palm springs Posts: 994 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts Rep Power: 4115671	my father is a alcoholic but he has never been this bad, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. __________________ Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

03-30-2010, 10:07 PM	#2
sylvie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mr Mtn's babygirl Preferred Pronoun?: girly, she Relationship Status: fiercely protected ♥ Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Moving home in OR with Him VERY soooon !! Posts: 2,548 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,834 Thanked 7,501 Times in 1,850 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	thank you very much Diva, i appreciate that more than i can probably express.. __________________ my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page: http://www.facebook.com/asyllyjourney

03-30-2010, 10:28 PM	#3
WolfyOne Magically Delicious How Do You Identify?: Gentle Butch Relationship Status: Single and content Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 6,558 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,052 Thanked 15,392 Times in 4,138 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Sylvie, my dad was a functioning alcoholic as many police officers are. My oldest brother is an alcoholic and I did the tough love with him (we no longer speak). It runs in my family. When I was in my 20's I had a lot of misplaced anger, so a friend turned me on to ACOA(adult children of alcoholics) meetings. Believe it or not, they helped me deal with my family better back then. Sometimes it's easier to be with others in a group like that every week than try to do it on your own. I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers. I understand what you're going through. If your dad won't get help for himself, you should at least get help for you, so you can cope better. __________________ Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo

03-30-2010, 10:31 PM	#5
Andrea Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mature Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Her/She Relationship Status: I heart Rene Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: California Posts: 3,755 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,427 Thanked 14,921 Times in 3,020 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Al-Anon is a wonderful group. I don't feel like I am exaggerating to say it saved my life. I attended meetings off and on for several years, then became active in it and also joined CoDA (co-dependents anonymous). Best things I ever did for myself. Go to a meeting. It won't hurt. In fact, I suggest attending several different meetings for several weeks. Each group will be different and feel different. It may not feel like it is for you for a couple of meetings and it may be uncomfortable, but it won't hurt anything to try it. You will find people that have been through what you are going through. I found it a comfort to know I was not the only one that had experienced it. I didn't feel alone anymore. They spoke of ways of coping, and they spoke of their triumphs and that gave me hope. Andrea __________________ I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.

03-30-2010, 10:29 PM	#4
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	i don't have personal experience but al anon is a great resource for people in your exact situation, please go and soon. that said, if i came upon my father/anyone in the shape you describe i'd call 911 and let professionals deal with it, not because i don't care--quite the opposite, i care enough to not let him decide when he's going to go to the ER. (please understand that i'm not at all judging/criticizing the way you dealt with your father!!) i understand that you've been dealing with this forever--that is so unfair... and i suspect that the doctor was right about this being more than any one person can handle--go to al anon, you're not alone.