Infidelity

[Rufusboi]

[quote=AtLastHome;77019]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Poor poor men. In a Patriarchal society where it is the norm for men to cheat (just not get caught) it is hard to feel pity.

I don't CARE who is cheating as long as it's not on me.

I simply REFUSE to feel any pity for the (despite the diversions of double standards and blahblahblah) men.

You make your bed you lie in it. Pun intentional.[/QU

I don't feel any pity for these guys at all. And it is the patriarchal traditions that are at the bottom of the men will be men stuff. But, why aren’t we talking about the entire state of being able to make a commitment and stick to it (if a monogamous marriage/relationship is what we commit to) instead of differentiating along gender?

One is either has an honorable character, or not. Doesn't matter if male or female, or combination, thereof.

Maybe as human beings we are not hard wired for monogomy. Marriage, coupledom, nuclear family is cultural. It is something we invented. The root of marriage is economic. My history is spotty here but it was at one point (in the west) to tie families together politically and economically. Also, I've read it was to ensure men that the baby was his and not someone elses so that he could pass his money, land etc down to a genetic relative (again, all patriarchy) plus throw in marriage as a way to control women's sexuality (ironically) and women as property passed from father to husband and so on and so on. Yet really, the whole institution is entirely unnatural and who says monogomy is natural and why are we tying character to something I don't believe we are genetically wired to be.

Having said this, I am monogomous and believe that if you and your partner have the expectation of monogomy and fidelity and this is what a couple agree to then you should live up to that agreement. I don't feel pity for James, Woods or anyone that cheats and gets caught and then has to deal with the fall out, whether male or female.

But in the grand scheme of things I think that we as humans are not wired for monogamy. And I think if we stop putting so much emphasis on marriage and instead emphasize the importance of being truthful ( admit that we can't be monogomous and let a potential partner know the relationship has to be an open relationship) or hell, in Woods' case, just stay single and have sex with lots of women (and not tell them you love them) then people won't get hurt). Part of the problem is that people can't just say .... I'd love to have sex with you, but before we do this please know it is a one time, one weekend thing, I don't want a relationship, I don't love you etc etc.

Well I'm rambling now......so I'll stop here.

Rufus