Marriage Titles

[Breezy]

How about husbutch?

[Greyson]

For me, I am really over the term "My Partner." As a young person I always thought it made my gf and I sound like we were in business together or were partnered to play board games or cards.

I do not see myself as a "husband" because of all the historical misogny wrapped in that term. Spouse works for me. I will admit, I do like the sound of Mr. and Mrs.________.

[o222Good]

I thought I would one day hear the words, "I now pronounce you husbutch and wife!"

[Glenn]

Strange..In the thirty or so years I was "married", whenever her family sent us a Christmas card, they would always address the envelope using our first names, but their own family name at the end. When my family send a card, they would use their last names, after our first names. When friends sent us a card or invitation, they used both of our names. We had both of our names on the mailbox.We did'nt call each other anything else besides our own names in all those years. But I still do not see anything at all wrong with the traditional Mr. if you ID as masc/trans for now. I personally, use to like the y used in Syr/Myster.

[Chancie]

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

[The_Lady_Snow]

We use Master and slave, my parents being who they are call him *El Grande* cause my mother has a hard time with calling him slave and pronouncing his name.


Heteronormative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional.

[~baby~doll~]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

We use Master and slave...


Hetero-normative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional.

i have to go along with Snow here. The hetero-normative terms just do not fit. Master would be replaced with Goddess or Mistress though. i speak of my partner usually as my Goddess and even in the straight community they see it as a term of love or respect. i may say, "my Goddess is over there." and get no strange looks.

[Maverick]

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

Good question! I agree, I'm tired of the term "partner" and its blandness. My lady likes the term wife and will use that I believe. Husbutch is a cool idea. I keep trying to picture the person marrying us saying "I now pronounce you ________ and wife!" or "Wife and ________", "Wife and wife"? Eh.. "Husbutch and wife" is better. The cool thing is we get to invent what's right for us and don't have to stick with the traditional hetero wordings if we don't want to. Years ago we made up a secret pet word to use in public for each other where we didn't feel safe or comfortable to say "honey" or 'sweetie" etc. We still use that word a lot but not because we're being stealth anymore. We just love the word now for what it represents to us.

[clay]

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

To answer your question, yes, I would.
Though personally not really hung up on titles, per se, I am comfortable with anything respectable.

[Chancie]

We use partner all the time. I don't think anyone has ever thought we own a business together. Our respective families use it too. I think Pete uses 'old lady' sometimes when she's talking about me, which I find charming and kind of funny.

I'm talking about running into a colleague or a friend from the gym, someone you know but your honey doesn't know. If you were in the supermarket or something, would you use 'husbutch'?

[o222Good]

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

I have given this some thought, and my answer is this. It comes down to whether I am talking to a straight person, in which case, I would not. Only because they wouldn't get it. I actually don't have any straight friends, so I'm not sure if this would happen anyway. Thanks for a good question!

[julieisafemme]

I love wife! I am happy to be a wife. Greyson prefers spouse for him. Husbutch is fine within the queer community for him but I would not use it with straight people. He will be my spouse.

[RNguy]

Originally Posted by Greyson

For me, I am really over the term "My Partner." As a young person I always thought it made my gf and I sound like we were in business together or were partnered to play board games or cards.

I do not see myself as a "husband" because of all the historical misogny wrapped in that term. Spouse works for me. I will admit, I do like the sound of Mr. and Mrs.________.

Greyson , I agree very much with this statement. My wife and I are a very unique match in the Sence that She and I have 3 things in common . 1. Same humor , 2. Adventurous as we will try anything at anytime twice not once , 3. We love another and fit like a perfect key despite being opposites in every direction and we both agree that we have no clue Why two people who disagree about everything fit so well.
Like yourself, the term partner , upsets me as bad as your friend !
My retort is thus : I AM A NURSE, NOT A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR BUSINESS MAN SO I DO NOT HAVE A PARTNER, AND WHAT FRIEND BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS !!!!
My wife is my wife and She prefers that title as do I prefer to call her that.
She will address me as her Daddy/ Spouse .
She will never say husband because She is a lesbian who happened to fall in love with a transgendered individual based on emotional, humor, semi smart haha , cant say goodlooking but She fell in love before any transitional actions .
We have and still partake in councelling for transitional issues etc..
Even what some may view a simple preference as a title can result in tension and lack of understanding . Who would have thought !!!!!! Not me until it occurred .
I think what matters is the end result of finding and agreement to the ultimate happy medium. We were able to do that , as we always seem to do . Sometimes its a rough road finding that place, but what Ive found in my 37 years is NOTHING worth while is ever easy and quick .