What are your faults?

[Angeltoes]

Where to begin...I struggled with an eating disorder for so many years and that in itself I don't consider a fault, but...the root cause of the illness remains. There is the passive-aggressiveness. I used starving myself as a weapon against my mother, but kept the anger to myself. I still can barely tolerate confrontation and would rather subtlety show people how I feel than communicate. Another flaw (which is related to the first) is lack of trust. I'm strangely torn between an almost giddy, overwhelming love for humanity in general and not really trusting any individuals except my kids. I'm very cynical which I partially attribute to growing up poor in the middle of Manhattan and experiencing a lifetime of betrayals and disappointments that I held on to for way too long. I never felt safe...what it takes to feel safe I still don't know, but I was always fighting this looming feeling of danger. I still struggle with that even though Boise, ID is far from scary. I'm quite paranoid about being hurt or used or tricked. Lack of trust led me to believe that life is a hustle. In other words, I have been somewhat of a user in the past. I've been very fake. I've pretended to love and like when I knew I didn't. I've blended in and allied myself with people I secretly despised all to gain the thing I thought I could not provide myself with...security. This went on until the day I couldn't stand it anymore and wondered what kind of person am I to do this? After I berated myself for awhile I realized that I made misguided decisions because I thought I was fighting for my life and I was trying to escape a past which was very painful and traumatic. I was wrong.... however many good things came from my mistakes. Then I thought it's never too late to change. So long as you have a breath in your body anyone can change at least in their heart and spirit. You can't redeem yourself with everyone, but you can forgive yourself. So slowly I'm easing my grip and learning to live in the present rather than the past. That's the only way to rid myself of the most debilitating flaws I have.

[JAGG]

Hard headed.
Judgemental
I speak very directly. It rubs some people the wrong way.
High standards for myself and others sometimes too high .

[~ocean]

~if you push me too much ~ I'll push back as I walk away ~
~ don't tell me I need something I don't ~ I'll tell u what u want to hear so u will shut the hell up ~
~ I like to flirt and when I get your attention I walk away ~
~ I get too quiet when I should be saying what I'm thinking ~then it's too late ~
~ no matter where the hurt comes from ~ I put a wall up ~ till I have it figured out ~
~ if you bring to the point of tears ~ I run ~

[psykftm]

I elaborate too much

when I'm angry I can get apathetic to the needs of others, or
I expect everyone I come into contact with to know what I'm going through without having told them

I don't really know how to handle criticism

I tend to speak figuratively, so I can be hard to understand

A friend bought me a worst case scenario book, I suppose trying to tell me something lol

I rely on others to figure out who I am/rely on labels

I always tend to see the darker side of life

I don't like to ask for affection when I need it

[dixie]

I cuss too much, but usually don't care.

I am picky about food. (Although there is an actual reason for this, but I don't usually talk about it, nor do I know exactly how to fix it even though I would like to.)

I tell bad/off-color/gross jokes. I have an odd sense of humor. I use humor at the wrong times or in the wrong ways, to try to cover up my own feelings, no matter the situation or subject matter.

I am sometimes too shy and awkward. (Sometimes comes from my social phobias, sometimes comes from nervousness that is caused by good things...either way has a negative effect.)

I lash out at people when I am hurt/angry/not feeling *heard*.

I don't always know how to communicate my feelings until it is too late and it boils over into anger or hurt feelings.

If I am hurting, I want to hurt others. (Emotionally, not physically.)

I have serious issues of self-worth that need to be worked on.

I try so hard to be perky and cheery, when in reality, I am a very unhappy person. I just really don't like for people to know that, because there is nothing worse to me than the look of pity on someone's face.

I do not love myself, but rather, loathe myself on a level that would scare most people. (Another thing that needs to be worked on.)

I know my faults, most of them anyway. But I do not know how to fix a lot of them. Or am afraid to try, because I am afraid of failure. Which is a fault in itself.

[Ascot]

I set a very high bar for myself and then expect others to leap it with me. I know it's unfair, but I find I'm not willing to lower it.

If, for some reason, any reason, I've perceived someone as ignorant, dumb in a way that indicates they have no desire for continued growth, I tend to summarily dismiss them. I cannot stomach that.

I eat way too much chocolate.

[Amante]

It's weird - my gf arrives in two days for our longest visit ever (2.5 weeks, which will include Meeting the Parents), and a friend's very recent and awful breakup has me obsessing this evening about my faults that are going to make my gf crazy once she finally admits that I'm not perfect:

~ I am a terrible procrastinator, not about everything but about many very key things
~ I am extremely skilled at practicing avoidance with things that I really really need to do, but just don't want to - and if I'm embarrassed that I put it off so long, I'll avoid it even more.
~ Neatness, especially with regard to things like paperwork, is a skill that I put up there with walking on high wires: Clearly some people are capable of it, but I can't fathom how I ever could be, it just seems so impossible.
~ Oversharing and not knowing when to shut up: I never use just 50 words if I can manage to fit in 500
~ Major issues with Imposter Syndrome in my professional life
~ I have ADD which is a little out of control and contributes heavily to a lot of these
~ Somewhat of an addiction to being online, which is something I really do want to address