Butch visibility

[thedivahrrrself]

I think this may be why so many femmes (including myself) get so defensive of the butch folks in our lives.

I went to the fair last year with my butch friend. We decided to use the restroom. Me, his sister (who is kind of androgynous), and his niece waited in line for the bathrooms, but he walked across the fair to the portapotties. I asked his sister why, and she said it's because he has encountered problems in the bathroom several times before. I immediately got mad. I would stick a heel in someone's head for giving my friend shit! And if the person being attacked was my lover, I would probably even ruin a pair of Louboutins!!

But I'm a fighter. I've been out in Oklahoma since I was a teen, and I don't care much about what people I don't know think of me. I know some people aren't wired that way, and I know some people are tired of having to fight.

I see the things you're talking about. I see men look like they are ready to fist fight when a butch woman walks into their store. What can we femmes do? Every instinct I have says to hold tight to your hand and ask that fucker what he's staring at! In the bathrooms, I've noticed that just the act of me saying "no, she's in the right place" will generally keep things from escalating.

So a good question for you who feel the sting of ultra-visibility, is there anything your gf's or femme friends can do to show their support in these situations?




Maybe this is just a case of the grass being greener, but I think I'd prefer the perks of visibility. There really aren't any perks to invisibility as I see it.