Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 26


If Garfunkel Was Here

Speak of the dead and paint the living. Paint them in a good light when you can and into a corner when you have to. Read the books of future generations rather than acting as the arrogant, who attempt to write these volumes. Expunge nothing leave it all on view, but move past it after taking in the implications. Water flows under the bridge until it collapses then it carries the bridge away. So, speak of the dead don’t drown them, paint the living don’t stain them, look to the future don’t dictate to it and let the water run.


Rinse off your first impressions


*
FREQUENTLY

When my daydream gets so threadbare
I no longer use it
I must turn to other sources.

When I cannot conjure on my own
And elucidation makes me cross-eyed
I must turn to HP.

I have puttered and prolonged
The way to naming this legendary
And fabulous enigma.

I drew out even longer
Any desire for close association
With the same.

I have milled with the millstone
And surfed in the whirlpool
Drug my feet and thrown a fit.

This only stalled the inevitable result,
Naming and interaction is the need
And now is the time

I have a Higher Power
And I chose to call it
Frequently.

[tomboystud]

May 26
The Power in the group
“Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us.... We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God.”
Basic Text, p. 24
––––=––––
Many of us have a hard time with the idea of a Higher Power until we fully accept the depth of our own powerlessness over addiction. Once we do, most of us are at least willing to consider seeking the help of some Power greater than our disease. The first practical exposure many of us have to that kind of Power is in the NA group. Perhaps that’s where we should start in developing our own understanding of God.
One evidence of the Power in the group is the unconditional love shown when NA members help one another without expectation of reward. The group’s collective experience in recovery is itself a Power greater than our own, for the group has practical knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. And the fact that addicts keep coming to NA meetings, day after day, is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow.
All these things are evidence of a Power that can be found in NA groups. When we look around with an open mind, each of us will be able to identify other signs of that Power. It doesn’t matter if we call it God, a Higher Power, or anything else—just as long as we find a way to incorporate that Power into our daily lives.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will open my eyes and my mind to signs of a Power that exists in my NA group. I will call upon that Power to help me stay clean.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[tomboystud]

I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.
Gilda Radner

We may associate the word creativity with a gift for bringing a poem, film. new business, or web site into being. But whether or not we work in a field we think of as creative, each of us has an enormous capacity for creativity and the need to express it in some aspect of our lives.
We all have the gift of imagination and daily opportunities to use it. We can pay attention to details as we create surroundings at home and work that speak to us. We can fill a page beautifully as we write a letter or list. We can appreciate color and texture as we plan a meal or choose what we'll wear. We can seek ways to bring freshness into our relationships, attitudes, and responses. One of the most powerful uses of our creativity is to visualize ourselves and our environments in new ways. In doing this, we collaborate with our Higher Power in increasing the world's supply of peace, hope , and love.

Today, I find an opportunity to use my creative imagination.

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 27



ROUSs



Time passes, I clock it and count it and use its passage to construct a defense or accusation depending on my need. I use the calendar to condemn you because my feelings do not have sufficient leverage for my mental calculations. To prize disappointment from this scene I watch the water-clock waiting for adequate drops to lift the flood gate and free me from your unfulfilled promise and my unrealized hope. How long is too long to stand in a quagmire? Why do I feel the need for permission to leave the quicksand?



Match persistence with cheer


*
DOLL

Why is your face all red, asked my sponsor?
I didn’t get my way, I responded
And this crimson appearance is the result?

You see that it is
I was very careful about what I wanted
And worked hard to be reasonable.

And Baby , you were, you did nothing wrong
Your ego was in check
And you kept your expectations in proportion
Said my sponsor

Then why didn’t it work out my way?
I only have a sad and simple answer for you
The results had nothing to do with you.

Your wants, expectations or desires,
The whole experience boils down to only one thing
It wasn’t that type of party, Doll.

Oh.

[tomboystud]

May 27
Meeting the day’s challenge
“...the decision to ask for God’s help is our greatest source of strength and courage.”
Basic Text, p. 26
––––=––––
A challenge is anything that dares us to succeed. Things new and unfamiliar serve as challenges, whether those things appear good or bad to us. We are challenged by obstacles and opposition from within ourselves and from without. New and difficult things, obstacles and opposition, all are a part of “life on life’s terms.” Living clean means learning to meet challenges.
Many of us, consciously or unconsciously, took drugs to avoid meeting challenges. Many of us were equally afraid of failure and success. Each time we declined the day’s challenge, we suffered a loss of self-esteem. Some of us used drugs to mask the shame we felt. Each time we did that, we became even less able to meet our challenges and more likely to use.
By working the NA program, we’ve found the tools we need to successfully meet any challenge. We’ve come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, a Power that cares for our will and our lives. We’ve asked that Power to remove our character defects, those things that made our lives unmanageable. We’ve taken action to improve our conscious contact with that Higher Power. Through the steps, we’ve been given the ability to stop using drugs and start living.
Each day, we are faced with new challenges. And each day, through working our program of recovery, we are given the grace to meet those challenges.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will ask my Higher Power to help me squarely meet today’s challenge.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[tomboystud]

Find someone like yourself. Find others.
Adrienne Rich

Whether as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people or as those recovering form addictions, we are supported by our friendships and associations with others who identify themselves as we do. While we aren't limited to our kinship communities, we're strengthened by coming together with others whose experiences, commitments, and aspirations reflect our own.
Perhaps a dependency or an obsession has made our world narrow, or perhaps we feel the loneliness of an identity that has often been despised. The beginning of the end of isolation comes when we first reach out to another human being, willing to know him or her and to let ourselves be known. We can do so in safety within groups of people who accept and even celebrate who we are. As our chosen communities embrace us, we, too, can extend a welcome to newcomers and others like ourselves.

Today, I am strengthened by being part of a supportive community.

[KCBUTCH]

spent the wknd volunteering at the AA/Alanon conference for my 9 yr anniversary.. It was tiring but made me very grateful

[tomboystud]

I realized I was going to survive this loss. I learned that no matter how great my pain, or how alone and frightened I feel, I have only to remember.
Raymond Berger

When we're suffering, we may think that we're never going to feel relief. We may forget that we have already survived our past, and that joy has followed pain over and over again. We may neglect to use the resources within us and surrounding us that can help through times of pain. Prayer, creative expression, visiting nature, sharing feelings with people we trust, giving help and service to others, even performing simple meditative talks like washing dishes or sweeping a floor-all these have helped put broken hearts back together.
To be alive is to feel. We don't have to numb or deny our feelings of pain or loss. We can respect and acknowledge whatever we're feeling without fear. In time, we are healed.

Today, I remember that I have always lived through pain. I remember the many resources that help me to heal.

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 28

Estranged


After long years I have made my own acquaintance, friendship is on a far distant shore. I know who I am and can recognize myself on the street or in a crowded room. I have a legitimate sense of wariness of the afore mentioned persona, nothing too nasty, just a discomfort. She is not someone I would bring home, maybe not even share a meal with but I can stand her, minus intimacy, minus any deep empathy. I feel an awkwardness in acknowledging her, strange as this might sound, she is no one to be ashamed of, not a truly bad actor and yet the reports say she doesn’t live up to her potential and I have it on personal authority that she actually surpasses it on most days and keeps this a closely held confidence. And there it is, I know her secrets but I don’t keep her. This is what makes me strange and her stranger.



Catch your reflection in the eyes of a friend

*

THE ONE I BOUGHT

There are fairy tales I never gave credence to
Multiple bear stories don’t move me
Cats with footwear have not warranted a second thought.

True love-----------
Now that one I still buy
Hook line and sinker.

Work hard---------
And true love will fix the rest
That is what I have always believed.
The evil spell I have walked under

During my sad little life will be broken
Only by the durable and fulfilling love of my betrothed.
Each time this plan fell through

The blame was left to the wrongness of the match
But not the wrongness of the plot

Anytime I work to be restored to sanity by one person
I have displaced a rightful power
And thrown myself to the sea.