Friends of Bill W.

[tomboystud]

May 31
Keep it simple
“We live a day at a time but also from moment to moment. When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably.”
Basic Text, p. 99
––––=––––
Life often seems too complicated to understand, especially for those of us who’ve dodged it for so long. When we stopped using drugs, many of us came face to face with a world that was confusing, even terrifying. Looking at life and all its details, all at once, may be overwhelming. We think that maybe we can’t handle life after all and that it’s useless to try. These thoughts feed themselves, and pretty soon we’re paralyzed by the imagined complexity of life.
Happily, we don’t have to fix everything at once. Solving a single problem seems possible, so we take them one at a time. We take care of each moment as it comes, and then take care of the next moment as it comes. We learn to stay clean just for today, and we approach our problems the same way. When we live life in each moment, it’s not such a terrifying prospect. One breath at a time, we can stay clean and learn to live.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will keep it simple by living in this moment only. Today, I will tackle only today’s problems; I will leave tomorrow’s problems to tomorrow.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[tomboystud]

Without guests, the sweetest and healthiest food tastes bitter to the soul.
Michel Abehsera

We have loving friends, a supportive community, a path of growth and healing, and habits that help us maintain a relationship with our spirit. When we acknowledge how full and developed our lives are, it's easy and natural to share our wealth with others. Our smiles as we enter a room and greet others, the energy of our positive approach to life, our willingness to listen-all these are nurturing and life giving to those with whom we come into contact, both friends and strangers.
Giving to to others doesn't always have to involve long hours or arduous work. Simply showing up, genuinely paying attentions to what someone has to say, and offering a word or look of encouragement can help others feel welcome at the feast we ourselves are nourished by. Generosity comes easily when we see how far we'we already come and how rich we truly are in the things that matter most.

Today, I share my life's abundance with others.

[LeftWriteFemme]

June 1


I’m not Brian


I thought life was based on a system of ‘I will suffer and that will exempt you’. Then I would be horrified when you suffered, after I had already done so ahead of you. In an attempt to ease my dismay I would look to see who had broken the pact, you or me. Had I not endured sufficiently to protect you? Had you left the safety of the umbrella of sanctuary? Panic gives birth to blame and blame of course births nasty biting things that run loose and bury in all the tender spots. Now, the goals I tend are to end the breeding of those sharp and painful beasties, stop laying my neck upon the alter and start telling better jokes.




Scramble cracked perceptions

*


DANCE OF DEATH

Honeyed words pour from lips
Shades of doubt color my mind
Stained glass eyes look to blank walls
And picture the gallery of imagination
Attempting to sell it for hard currency

Sirens sing from the throats of mute men
The screams which rise in me fall on deaf ears
Paradox feeds controversy but it needn’t

Evolution from a cesspool is repugnant
Though process is steady made
Inertia is violent if that is from whence it came

Afterbirth is always bloody and humans not always nice
I must live and heal as others climb up and slide down
I must keep the beat and forget the dance of death.

[tomboystud]

May 31
Keep it simple
“We live a day at a time but also from moment to moment. When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably.”
Basic Text, p. 99
––––=––––
Life often seems too complicated to understand, especially for those of us who’ve dodged it for so long. When we stopped using drugs, many of us came face to face with a world that was confusing, even terrifying. Looking at life and all its details, all at once, may be overwhelming. We think that maybe we can’t handle life after all and that it’s useless to try. These thoughts feed themselves, and pretty soon we’re paralyzed by the imagined complexity of life.
Happily, we don’t have to fix everything at once. Solving a single problem seems possible, so we take them one at a time. We take care of each moment as it comes, and then take care of the next moment as it comes. We learn to stay clean just for today, and we approach our problems the same way. When we live life in each moment, it’s not such a terrifying prospect. One breath at a time, we can stay clean and learn to live.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will keep it simple by living in this moment only. Today, I will tackle only today’s problems; I will leave tomorrow’s problems to tomorrow.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[tomboystud]

Recovery depends on continuing revelation.
David Crawford

Perhaps we sense that something is still standing in the way of our usefulness to our Higher Power, ourselves, and other human beings. We may be aware of a habit that feels addictive or of fears ore resentments that are holding us back, preventing us from fully using our gifts.
Step Six suggests that we become entirely ready for change. This means letting go of our illusions about the ways we limit our freedom and happiness-letting go of any denials or excuses. It means trusting that out attitudes and behaviors are capable of transformation. It does not mean attempting to force situations in which our fantasies of control haven't worked before. Being entirely ready means that we're honest about what hasn't succeeded in the past and that we're willing to accept our Higher Power's help. Genuine honesty and openness to change are the essence of the humility we need in order to grow.

Today, I look honestly at what stands in the way of my life's usefulness.

[tomboystud]

June 2
Sick and tired
“We wanted an easy way out.... When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain.”
Basic Text, p. 5
––––=––––
Something’s not working. In fact, something’s been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives. The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live. We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what’s truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives.
Most of us didn’t begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were “sick and tired of being tired and sick.” The same is true of the lingering character defects we’ve carried through our lives. Only when we can’t bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can’t be as bad as the pain we’re in today, are most of us willing to try something different.
Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we’re sick and tired of. The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless. The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time. No single step is so frightening that we can’t work it, by itself. As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us.
––––=––––
Just for today: No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time. I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

June 2



The Attention Tax


Paying attention is the price exacted for living in this society. A taxation which is like a leach; it takes the life force, diverts my brain waves, claims the water rights to my river of thought. What is left I use to wash off what I can, never quite managing to feel clean or clear. I sit in the mud puddle still unsure if I understand what just happened; harboring a dark fear of the wave to come.





Cultivate creative ambition


*

BOTTLE THE ACID

My sponsor said “bottle the acid” and I did
I sat back in smug reflection until the plumbing backed up
I grabbed the fast solution and poured it down the drain.

My sponsor smiled as I learned ----
The baser things will eat my life away too.
I can never just decant power and expect it to clean sweep
The clogged pathways in my recovery.

Sloshing caustic medicine into open orifices brought me here
I long for the ease of a liquid resolution
In the end, I must clean the pipes myself.

The traps are simpler to cleanse the less I’ve lied
Telling myself I don’t have to get my hands
Or heart dirty is the biggest lie of all.