Need parents opinion

girllikeu2 · 06-03-2013, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by femm_cb

Hi moms and dads!

I could really use your advice on something. I hope I am making more of this than what needs to be. But you tell me what you think.

While out at a locale restaurant celebrating my daughters birthday, there was a table of about 6-8 highschool senior girls (my daughter will be a senior next year) and a male teacher with them. He was the only teacher at the table full of highschool girls? As a parent, I found it highly inappropriate that a male teacher would be out socially with a group of girls. My daughter was like "Oh yeah, that's part of the choir group and those are his favorites" As if it were no big deal. (I would also feel the same if it were male students and a female teacher)

Part of me wants to call the school and complain. I am in NO WAY accusing this male teacher of doing anything immoral as I have no proof. However, if it were a school function, shouldn't more teachers/parents have been in attendance? I would think so? Should teachers/students interact outside of school socially?

Should I call her school and voice my concern? Or am I overreacting - like normal?

That's a hard one. I am a teacher but my students aren't capable of socializing with me outside of school without a parent being there too. HOWEVER, if this was a group thing of seniors and not 1 teacher and 1 student I'd be inclined to shrug and think it was a nice gesture. I am a Pollyanna like that though and am apt not to think worst case scenario. I wouldn't worry if I was you. Just my gut feeling.

femm_cb · 06-03-2013, 07:18 PM

Ok - so it's just me being an over protective mother. Good!

Sweet Bliss · 06-03-2013, 07:35 PM

Okay, gonna put my two bucks in.......

If it were ME, I would call the school board and ask what the policy is regarding teachers socializing outside of school with students. Asking for information without discussing WHY you want the info will surely not upset any apple carts. Just use your "I was just wondering..." voice. There must be a written policy somewhere. Maybe your PTA has a copy of the regs? Hey, what about the schools website?

MY thoughts are that singling out "a select few" students to a "perhaps NON-school sanctioned function" is sending a blatant message of favoritism to students whom are not selected to an "outing with Teacher".

Young people are sometimes impacted adversely when shunned publicly or within the confines of school activities.

If it is meant to show appreciation, then it would come across more sincerely IMO if the ENTIRE choir is giving special treatment for their participation. Parents might be thrilled to see their children honored for being part of a group that brings out the best in our children.

Perhaps BKisbutchenuff can help you with this situation. BK works in this field, BK's opinion might help you to make a more informed decision.

Thanks for reading.

JAGG · 06-03-2013, 07:23 PM

I am not a parent, but I am all about bypassing the middle man. Why not go talk to the teacher yourself. Your daughter was present at the gathering . Why not call and ask to have a private meeting with him. Tell him how you feel and how it appears to someone looking in from the outside. He may be totally innocent , he may be gay for all we know. Calling the school would surely get him in hot water, and maybe for no valid reason . Talking to him in person, at the very least it will make him aware that his actions have the propensity to lead to inapproprate behavior, if he isn't already aware of that. And if he is trying to be sly at least he knows he is being watched and that you don't approve. Just my two cents worth.

femm_cb · 06-03-2013, 07:27 PM

L (my daughter) said "Oh we all think he's gay" but still.....I don't want to get this guy in any hot water. What if the school and/or parents knew they were out in a social gathering? I don't want to cause any unwanted drama? Maybe I will email him directly - rather call him

06-03-2013, 07:18 PM	#2
femm_cb Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Bitch Preferred Pronoun?: BITCH Join Date: May 2013 Location: US-FUCKING A Posts: 70 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 183 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 3120838	Thank you! Ok - so it's just me being an over protective mother. Good! __________________ ~ Chris

06-03-2013, 07:23 PM	#4
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I am not a parent, but I am all about bypassing the middle man. Why not go talk to the teacher yourself. Your daughter was present at the gathering . Why not call and ask to have a private meeting with him. Tell him how you feel and how it appears to someone looking in from the outside. He may be totally innocent , he may be gay for all we know. Calling the school would surely get him in hot water, and maybe for no valid reason . Talking to him in person, at the very least it will make him aware that his actions have the propensity to lead to inapproprate behavior, if he isn't already aware of that. And if he is trying to be sly at least he knows he is being watched and that you don't approve. Just my two cents worth. __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.

06-03-2013, 07:27 PM	#5
femm_cb Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Bitch Preferred Pronoun?: BITCH Join Date: May 2013 Location: US-FUCKING A Posts: 70 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 183 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 3120838	Funny you should say that L (my daughter) said "Oh we all think he's gay" but still.....I don't want to get this guy in any hot water. What if the school and/or parents knew they were out in a social gathering? I don't want to cause any unwanted drama? Maybe I will email him directly - rather call him __________________ ~ Chris

06-03-2013, 07:35 PM	#3
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Okay, gonna put my two bucks in....... If it were ME, I would call the school board and ask what the policy is regarding teachers socializing outside of school with students. Asking for information without discussing WHY you want the info will surely not upset any apple carts. Just use your "I was just wondering..." voice. There must be a written policy somewhere. Maybe your PTA has a copy of the regs? Hey, what about the schools website? MY thoughts are that singling out "a select few" students to a "perhaps NON-school sanctioned function" is sending a blatant message of favoritism to students whom are not selected to an "outing with Teacher". Young people are sometimes impacted adversely when shunned publicly or within the confines of school activities. If it is meant to show appreciation, then it would come across more sincerely IMO if the ENTIRE choir is giving special treatment for their participation. Parents might be thrilled to see their children honored for being part of a group that brings out the best in our children. Perhaps BKisbutchenuff can help you with this situation. BK works in this field, BK's opinion might help you to make a more informed decision. Thanks for reading.