Relationships - What things do you want & need?

Rogue · 11-17-2009, 03:21 PM

What things do you need to make a relationship last? What things do you look for in a potential partner and why? What things will you NOT tolerate from a relationship?

For me.. relationships are alot of work.. and it takes 2 devoted people to work at it.. relationships are NOT one sided.. there is always 2 sides.. always 2 people (in most cases) *gryn and always twice the amount of work.. working toward life goals and decisions..

To make a relationship last I would require the following things..

* friendship
* open communication - keeps the relationship alive - ask for what you want and need from each other
* loyalty & trust - without this you don't have anything
* hard work and dedication - can lead to a lifetime of happiness
* faith - in the both of us that we are in this together for the long haul

I look for these things in a potential partner..

* friendship
* Love - because it is not just about the good times - love endures all
* Respect - because without it there can only be hurt and pain
* Honesty - because without that you don't have trust
* Trust - because you will make life decisions together or for each other and you have to trust in those decisions
* Monogamy - because I don't like to share emotionally
* Morals, Values & Integrity - because it shows true strength of character

I will NOT tolerate the following from a partner or a relationship..

* Dishonesty - because it hinders trust and you need that to succeed
* Cheating - because it hurts the soul and kills the love
* Disrespect - because it makes you feel belittled and used
* Abuse - in any form, be it, mental, physical, emotional etc. Because it is WRONG - and makes you feel unimportant and harms your sence of self worth

These are my thoughts and perceptions on potential partners and relationships.. I would like to hear your thoughts as well in case I have something new to learn or something new to add to my list..

I posted this some time ago on another site.. but thought it would do well here so I brought it over!

*hugs*
Rogue

NotAnAverageGuy · 11-18-2009, 03:22 PM

I will bite *nom nom*

friendship
honesty
trust
willing to look past my nasty faults
ability to help me take care of my animals with no complaints
and NO NO NO DRAMA

thats all I want

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 06:54 PM

1. I am only willing to tolerate bed hoggery so much. Then you gotta get your own sleeping arrangements.

2. Must be willing and happy to sleep in a cool environment. Not up for negotiation.

3. NOT a smacker.

4. Chatty behavior is generally frowned upon. Get to the point. Please and thank you.

5. Pick up your

s.

6. Liberal politics a must.

7. You can be my Daddy but don't call me corny names.

8. It's alright to ask for what you need. In fact, it's mandatory.

Not a mind reader,

e

Gemme · 11-18-2009, 07:12 PM

My list of demands:

You must be a furnace in the winter and sleep on the other side of the bed in summer.

You must indulge my whims, no matter the origin.

You must tolerate a maximum of 2 minutes of whining before you gently remind me that I am, indeed, whining.

You must mind your manners, in all forms.

You must obey the laws of physics.

You must practice good hygiene regularly.

You must have a smartass sense of humor, otherwise I will eat you alive.

You must forgive me my sins, especially since you will be partaking in most of them.

You must not control me or try to fit me in a preconceived mold or some image of girlfriend past. I am me. Love me or leave me.

You must know yourself and speak your mind when necessary.

You must love the arts. Music, movies, dance, theatre, art, museums....I love them all. Oh, and the circus. You must love the circus.

You must be kind, because I am not. You must be gentle, for I've forgotten how. You must be patient, as I've never been. You must be calm, since I cannot be. You must be the up to my down and in to my out.

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 07:33 PM

Gemme,

Why is it necessary that they obey the laws of physics?

I mean, gravity I understand, but if inertia could somehow be avoided in an auto accident, I really think you should reconsider.

With you on the smartassitude. Don't want to have eat nobody alive.

e

Gemme · 11-18-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

Gemme,

Why is it necessary that they obey the laws of physics?

I mean, gravity I understand, but if inertia could somehow be avoided in an auto accident, I really think you should reconsider.

With you on the smartassitude. Don't want to have eat nobody alive.

e

I was thinking more along the lines of each action having an equal but opposite reaction but yes, auto accidents are something to consider.

If he could bend the laws of physics, how would I keep up with him? I stand by my previous statement, but allow for selfish reasoning.

Edit to previous list:

You must own lots of so that you can tape yourself into your seat in case of an auto accident.

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

I was thinking more along the lines of each action having an equal but opposite reaction but yes, auto accidents are something to consider.

If he could bend the laws of physics, how would I keep up with him? I stand by my previous statement, but allow for selfish reasoning.

Edit to previous list:

You must own lots of so that you can tape yourself into your seat in case of an auto accident.

Well, I see that I have been outwitted here.

I think I shall put a request into The Cosmic Waitress, however, that *I* be permitted to bend the laws of physics some time or another.

may do more harm than good,

e

Queerasfck · 11-18-2009, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Edit to previous list:

You must own lots of so that you can tape yourself into your seat in case of an auto accident.

Your duct tape looked like toilet paper. Just sayin......

blush · 11-18-2009, 07:57 PM

I need someone who can make some kickin' French toast.

Gemme · 11-18-2009, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

Well, I see that I have been outwitted here.

I think I shall put a request into The Cosmic Waitress, however, that *I* be permitted to bend the laws of physics some time or another.

may do more harm than good,

e

Outwitted? Nah. I'm just lazier than you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

Your duct tape looked like toilet paper. Just sayin......

I suppose, but I've never wiped my tush with gray toilet paper before, so I wouldn't have thought that.

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

I need someone who can make some kickin' French toast.

Oooo, that is a plus.

Cook. You must be able to cook.

EZ would have thought this -->

looked like toilet paper. (He wears thick glasses for a reason.)

e

MrSunshine · 11-18-2009, 08:07 PM

<-------thought that was an ass

Hudson · 11-18-2009, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadyboy

<-------thought that was an ass

thought it was a blue dolphin

Mister Bent · 11-18-2009, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

<snip>

Cook. You must be able to cook.

e

Phew.

Just made it under the wire.

*smack smack*

blush · 11-18-2009, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

Cook. You must be able to cook.

e

Right? I'll put up with all kinds of tomfoolery if they can do more than boil water.

blush · 11-18-2009, 09:05 PM

I thought it was a boomerang.

MizzSabra · 11-18-2009, 09:11 PM

I wrote this letter to the Universe on Aug 10th.....Sept 9th I met mi amore. I wasn't going to settle again.

I want someone emotionally available, semi-sane, communicative (without over processing), some form of income (don't have to be rich, but able to pay own bills), plays hard, works hard and still can chill in the house or yard for the day. Not a heavy drinker or addicted. If you are in recovery, awesome, but please be in recovery for a minimum of 5 years. I'm not a heavy drinker (less than once a month), I do smoke pot (mostly for body pain and insomnia) and cigarettes (I am a polite smoker).

I don't necessarily want to live together, space is good. I want someone who I can talk to when I've had a great day or a shitty day and won't be "bothered" with all that. I want someone to share my life with and visa-versa. I want to love and be loved. I don't need another child, I already raised mine, so if you are looking for a Mommy, it's not me. Someone who can appreciate all my Virgo quirks. Someone who can appreciate all (or at least some) my different sides. Someone who loves the outdoors as much as I do (or somewhere close to how much I love the outdoors). Someone who loves animals, but not too much. I'm at my dyke limit of animals right now.

Someone who isn't going to be intimidated by my large collection of power tools. Someone who isn't intimidated by my strength or my weaknesses. Someone who can show emotion. Someone who is kinky or semi-kinky. Someone who can take me in their arms and tell me that they love me. Someone who isn't intimidated by my height and the fact that I love to wear 3 inch heels when I got out. Someone who isn't intimidated by my butch/ftm friends/Unkles. Someone who isn't intimidated by my gayboy friends. Someone who wants to get their hands dirty in the garden with me (or at least pretend you like to get your hands dirty) and appreciate the fruits of our labor. Someone not already in a relationship!

This person is butch or FTM and a top. Switchy is ok too, but not all the time.

Are you this person or do you know someone like this and can handle a 6' tall blonde amazon?

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

I thought it was a boomerang.

Whatever it is, it is SO freakin' cute!

evolveme · 11-18-2009, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

Right? I'll put up with all kinds of tomfoolery if they can do more than boil water.

No joke, sister.

I may even reconsider how much chit-chatting I will allow.

Maybe.

s do it best,

e

MizzSabra · 11-18-2009, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

s do it best,

e

Yes we do.

Whoot! Rubber duckie for me!

11-17-2009, 03:21 PM	#1
Rogue Member How Do You Identify?: femme dyke Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: happily married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York USA Posts: 120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 105 Thanked 81 Times in 31 Posts Rep Power: 44315	Relationships - What things do you want & need? What things do you need to make a relationship last? What things do you look for in a potential partner and why? What things will you NOT tolerate from a relationship? For me.. relationships are alot of work.. and it takes 2 devoted people to work at it.. relationships are NOT one sided.. there is always 2 sides.. always 2 people (in most cases) gryn and always twice the amount of work.. working toward life goals and decisions.. To make a relationship last I would require the following things.. friendship * open communication - keeps the relationship alive - ask for what you want and need from each other * loyalty & trust - without this you don't have anything * hard work and dedication - can lead to a lifetime of happiness * faith - in the both of us that we are in this together for the long haul I look for these things in a potential partner.. * friendship * Love - because it is not just about the good times - love endures all * Respect - because without it there can only be hurt and pain * Honesty - because without that you don't have trust * Trust - because you will make life decisions together or for each other and you have to trust in those decisions * Monogamy - because I don't like to share emotionally * Morals, Values & Integrity - because it shows true strength of character I will NOT tolerate the following from a partner or a relationship.. * Dishonesty - because it hinders trust and you need that to succeed * Cheating - because it hurts the soul and kills the love * Disrespect - because it makes you feel belittled and used * Abuse - in any form, be it, mental, physical, emotional etc. Because it is WRONG - and makes you feel unimportant and harms your sence of self worth These are my thoughts and perceptions on potential partners and relationships.. I would like to hear your thoughts as well in case I have something new to learn or something new to add to my list.. I posted this some time ago on another site.. but thought it would do well here so I brought it over! hugs Rogue

11-18-2009, 06:54 PM	#3
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	1. I am only willing to tolerate bed hoggery so much. Then you gotta get your own sleeping arrangements. 2. Must be willing and happy to sleep in a cool environment. Not up for negotiation. 3. NOT a smacker. 4. Chatty behavior is generally frowned upon. Get to the point. Please and thank you. 5. Pick up your s. 6. Liberal politics a must. 7. You can be my Daddy but don't call me corny names. 8. It's alright to ask for what you need. In fact, it's mandatory. Not a mind reader, e __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

11-18-2009, 07:12 PM	#4
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	My list of demands: You must be a furnace in the winter and sleep on the other side of the bed in summer. You must indulge my whims, no matter the origin. You must tolerate a maximum of 2 minutes of whining before you gently remind me that I am, indeed, whining. You must mind your manners, in all forms. You must obey the laws of physics. You must practice good hygiene regularly. You must have a smartass sense of humor, otherwise I will eat you alive. You must forgive me my sins, especially since you will be partaking in most of them. You must not control me or try to fit me in a preconceived mold or some image of girlfriend past. I am me. Love me or leave me. You must know yourself and speak your mind when necessary. You must love the arts. Music, movies, dance, theatre, art, museums....I love them all. Oh, and the circus. You must love the circus. You must be kind, because I am not. You must be gentle, for I've forgotten how. You must be patient, as I've never been. You must be calm, since I cannot be. You must be the up to my down and in to my out. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

11-18-2009, 07:33 PM	#5
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	Gemme, Why is it necessary that they obey the laws of physics? I mean, gravity I understand, but if inertia could somehow be avoided in an auto accident, I really think you should reconsider. With you on the smartassitude. Don't want to have eat nobody alive. e __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

11-18-2009, 07:57 PM	#9
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,375 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632317	I need someone who can make some kickin' French toast. __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

11-18-2009, 03:22 PM	#2
NotAnAverageGuy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Trans Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,723 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 109 Thanked 282 Times in 178 Posts Rep Power: 0	I will bite nom nom friendship honesty trust willing to look past my nasty faults ability to help me take care of my animals with no complaints and NO NO NO DRAMA thats all I want

11-18-2009, 08:07 PM	#12
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	<-------thought that was an ass

11-18-2009, 09:05 PM	#16
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,375 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632317	I thought it was a boomerang. __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

11-18-2009, 09:11 PM	#17
MizzSabra Member How Do You Identify?: N/a Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: N/A Posts: 107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16 Thanked 111 Times in 41 Posts Rep Power: 60798	I wrote this letter to the Universe on Aug 10th.....Sept 9th I met mi amore. I wasn't going to settle again. I want someone emotionally available, semi-sane, communicative (without over processing), some form of income (don't have to be rich, but able to pay own bills), plays hard, works hard and still can chill in the house or yard for the day. Not a heavy drinker or addicted. If you are in recovery, awesome, but please be in recovery for a minimum of 5 years. I'm not a heavy drinker (less than once a month), I do smoke pot (mostly for body pain and insomnia) and cigarettes (I am a polite smoker). I don't necessarily want to live together, space is good. I want someone who I can talk to when I've had a great day or a shitty day and won't be "bothered" with all that. I want someone to share my life with and visa-versa. I want to love and be loved. I don't need another child, I already raised mine, so if you are looking for a Mommy, it's not me. Someone who can appreciate all my Virgo quirks. Someone who can appreciate all (or at least some) my different sides. Someone who loves the outdoors as much as I do (or somewhere close to how much I love the outdoors). Someone who loves animals, but not too much. I'm at my dyke limit of animals right now. Someone who isn't going to be intimidated by my large collection of power tools. Someone who isn't intimidated by my strength or my weaknesses. Someone who can show emotion. Someone who is kinky or semi-kinky. Someone who can take me in their arms and tell me that they love me. Someone who isn't intimidated by my height and the fact that I love to wear 3 inch heels when I got out. Someone who isn't intimidated by my butch/ftm friends/Unkles. Someone who isn't intimidated by my gayboy friends. Someone who wants to get their hands dirty in the garden with me (or at least pretend you like to get your hands dirty) and appreciate the fruits of our labor. Someone not already in a relationship! This person is butch or FTM and a top. Switchy is ok too, but not all the time. Are you this person or do you know someone like this and can handle a 6' tall blonde amazon?